Her Highness Sarah at post 1332 described an acquaintance. “I know an empty-nester who is so frustrated with her weight, hair, and wardrobe that she lacks energy and motivation to get up and get dressed. It’s sad, and I do think she’s grieving the fact that she has aged. She doesn’t want to stop wearing young women’s clothes and haircuts, but she knows they aren’t working for her.”
The art of aging gracefully is the art of living a life of womanly importance. Re the unmotivated lady described above, her marital status is unknown but:
- To appeal to men, attempts to restore long gone youthfulness signify phoniness or desperation or both. Except for short-fling sex, both discourage the masculine nature. (Men don’t know how to rescue her, so her value is diminished.)
- To be more attractive as a single woman, she must fulfill her need for self-importance. She must first prove herself important to herself by making herself important to others. It appears the lady in the spotlight has abdicated her throne of marital attractiveness.
- To be more important as a wife, she needs to take action soon, or unintended consequences will sweep through her life. Not important to herself means she is probably reducing her worth to her husband. When that happens, his respect shrinks, belief in her promise for him weakens, and his love for her slides toward indifference. It all follows as her sense of self-importance deteriorates further.
- To escape her depression, she needs to turn this statement into reality: Action cures fear, regret, guilt, and depression, so just get started. (And what action, you ask? Anything that gets her up, prettified, and energized to go somewhere or do something. Anything that makes her mingle with others and minimize her self-centeredness overly enlarged by craving to restore her youth. If she’s already doing all those things, then do more. Women can live with guilt, but they must control things in their lives to avoid or escape depression.)
- To seem younger, she should restore youthfulness to her heart and let her appearance please the sense of her own prettiness. When she learns to make herself pretty to satisfy no one but herself, she will find it’s a suitable substitute for the youthfulness she craves. (A good way to start is ‘pretty time’ performed each day according to article 1440 and the other posts mentioned there.)
- To find a husband, she should provide what men her age seek in a wife. That is, attractive, pleasant, modest, likeable, uniquely feminine, more willing to listen than chatter, independent but looking to serve, and above all, enable him to see promise in her for brightening his life.
- To avoid Mr. Wrong let her consider this. When a man looks only for a woman much younger than he is, he also plans to make her into his idea of the perfect wife (and vice versa). She can expect little freedom for her own interests, because he’s looking for her to do nothing but satisfy him his way (and vice versa). It’s aka adolescent-mindedness.
- To show herself how gracefulness can beat youthfulness, let her adopt virtual virginity as the strategy for capturing a man and modesty, patience, likeability, and promise for holding him.
- To be attractive to man or husband, she should emphasize the promise that her prettiness will last a long time. Preserve what she has more than fruitlessly trying to restore what’s past. (Much of what women know about men is wrong. For example, women make too much of sex and youth as important to men. To men, conquering younger women hails their sexual prowess among fellow competitors, but the women don’t benefit much. Once a woman is conquered, however, the importance of sex and her youth fade along with romantic love that fades in a year or two. However, adolescent-minded husbands value a much younger wife primarily to continually show her off.)
- To appear youthful, she need only match her grooming and styling with her age, until she marries and her husband expects something different to crown his wise decision of choosing her from all the rest.
Aging gracefully comes easily to those that live and give, those that continually pump up their sense of self-importance, those that allow their feminine nature to guide them later in life.