193. Weans, tweens, and teens #5—The subconscious

According to one researcher, over 99 percent of a person’s behavior is controlled by the subconscious. It guides us through habits and routine tasks that require little or no thinking. It does so from early toddling to deep dementia.

For example, most body movements require little thought. Drive to work. Get ready for bed. Eat the meal before you. Prepare for sex.

Much behavior is involved in these efforts, but few conscious thoughts are required. The details need little attention, because the subconscious automates those tasks within boundaries of safety, sleep, taste, and enjoyment respectively.

Social success in adulthood needs good programming. Inadequate, abnormal, and poisonous programming—aka bad upbringing—produces unhappy, immature, and violent adults and even criminal and dysfunctional mates and parents.

Details will follow about five major factors that enable understanding the subconscious mind. Self-worth, self-image, and self-interest explain how it operates. Self-talk and self-fulfilling prophecy explain how it either matures or doesn’t adjust from earlier wiring and programming.

[Earlier posts about the mind are 177, 178, 187, and 192.]

110. Matrimony or acrimony?

How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life¾key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing¾a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting¾even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

[More sex differences are shown in the following posts. Enter the highlighted number in the Search box above.] 

Love 103	106
Love 102	105
Love 101	104
Sex differences explain men—Chap.9	95
Sex differences explain men—Chap.8	83
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 7	74
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 6	63
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 5	53
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 4	43
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 3	35
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 2	29
Sex differences explain women too	28
Conquest changes her	27
Three Little Words	21
Sex differences explain men—Chap. 1	4

69. Bright side of Femininity—Part 1

Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1831.

23. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 1

Femininity, once a source of power and eliteness for females, has been made an object of scorn and ridicule by feminists. Women no longer appreciate that femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world, as one woman explains to Alison Armstrong in her book, Keys to the Kingdom.

Feminists consider men as undeserving of special attention and care. Yet, they eagerly provide what makes men highly appreciative—that is, frequent, reputable, convenient, inexpensive, and unobligated sex. This contradiction stymies females looking for the Marrying Man.

Feminism demeans the male nature in order to promote the status and political power of females. Femininity appreciates the male nature, applauds manliness, and empowers men to provide relationship stability, safety, and security.

Feminism focuses on making men unnecessary and dispensable in order to uplift females in legal, political, economic, social, and domestic stature. Femininity focuses on the high value and indispensability of men in order to uplift women and children above the depredations of extreme male aggression—and in today’s environment the threat of child molesters.

Feminism rejects as undeserving both castle-building and hut maintenance for a man. Femininity kisses frogs, treats princes as royalty, and specializes on lavishing warmth on everyone in the king’s castle.

Feminism politically empowers females to act like roosters and emulate the man of the house. Femininity endows females with the self-worth, self-image, and self-confidence to rule the roosters by letting him at least in his eyes appear to rule the roost.

Feminism produces an attitude of ingratitude for manly behavior that pushes men away—except in their pursuit of sex. Femininity produces an attitude of gratitude that attracts men and uses each female’s personal assets and appealing attractions to hold a man.

Feminism elevates sex above marriage, encourages eroticism, accepts promiscuity, stimulates pornography, allows sexual activity among children, and fails to discourage such things when opened for public discussion. Femininity subordinates sex to marriage, rejects eroticism out of modesty, disdains promiscuity as alien to relationship success, educates against porn as destructive to kids and family, protects children from adult sexual license, and promotes civilized behavior as keeping sex confined to the marital bed.

Feminism discourages women from supporting men as they exploit their masculine advantages. Feminists expect to change their nature to reduce male strengths. Femininity capitalizes on male strengths, compensates for weaknesses of both sexes, and eagerly helps build and maintain a man’s castle, since women are made potentially compatible with men by their drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones.

Feminism relies on and promotes the masculine games of might-makes-right, rule of man, and winning is more important than how one plays. Femininity relies on and promotes the females’ instinctive preference for right-makes-might, rule of law, and how one plays the game.

Feminism discourages male adoration even with a lot of female wishful thinking. Femininity inspires male adoration with little effort, because of female reliance on letting nature take its course sans feminist politics.

Feminism produces principles and ideology that divide as they try to conquer the political agenda. Femininity uses principles and ideology that unite and unify couples into stable and long-lasting families.

Feminism insists that women have the same capability as men for producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving. Femininity supplies the glory, highly values, and uplifts the unique ability of men as wartime defenders, peacetime providers, anytime protectors of women and children, and reliable solver of family problems.

Feminism reverses the best interest of females by restructuring social values. The traditional family is not essential. Men are not essential to female happiness. Women are pushed to compete directly with their man to show female independence. Mothers are not responsible to civilize boys; someone else should do that even though modern boys are becoming more violent, disrespectful of authority, and take greater advantage of young girls. Femininity endorses and promotes the opposite.