Tag Archives: sex before marriage

1948. Compatibility Axioms #301-310


301. Virtual virginity means keeping her legs crossed before marriage. It puts her in the buyer’s seat and forces a man to be the seller, to make himself worthy of her instead of the other way around. (Men don’t truly appreciate what they don’t earn.) [125]
302. Her attractiveness spikes his interest for sex. It’s up to her to convert that interest over to her. Heeding granny’s advice to keep a dime between her knees works best. [125]
303. Her first refusal for sex spreads a man’s interest to try harder, to know her better. Subsequent refusals push him to look ever deeper for weaknesses he can exploit to convince her to yield. (Presuming he accepts her refusals as other than rejections of him.) [125]
304. As her refusals continue in courtship, he serendipitously discovers her admirable strengths and non-sexual qualities. These earn more respect both for her potential as a keeper and promise for mating. (Provided, of course, he’s more interested in her than just conqueror’s sex.) [125]
305. By yielding sex before marriage, she reverses their natural roles. She becomes seller to his buyer, and he’s paid her price when she yields. It’s too late for her to raise the ante; the door closes partly or fully on his investing more in her even though the potential for it resides in the male nature. [125]
306. As the seller, she settles for less than she deserves because she has only one conquest event with each man. (Women may not see it that way, but men do. Men change after conquest, and it forces women to change to stay abreast of the conqueror.) [125]
307. Conquest is a relationship-changing event for a man. He quits looking so interestedly at a conquered woman. Nature releases his heart to pursue something or somebody else. [125]
308. By yielding unmarried sex, she lets a man know what price she charges for submission. This naturally, automatically, and subconsciously programs his mind on how their relationship will work in the future. It enlarges his expectations for getting his way with her—we’re talking greater male dominance here, aren’t we? [125]
309. The longer and more intensely without sex that he stays focused on her, the greater their bonding and the more promising their future together. [125]
310. Just a friendly touch in passing or a pat on the back sends a message of trust that earns a man’s regard if not respect. If he mistakes her friendliness for something else, she has uniquely subtle ways to turn him off without offense and immense power to discourage with offense. Friendly touching in passing is a small price women pay. It helps hold onto the respect of men other than their own, which magnifies their gratefulness for both men and themselves. [123]

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1903. Compatibility Axioms #41-50


41. Without marrying them, men see women as completely entitled to try hard, harder, and hardest not to yield. Men protect their own assets that way. Also, they don’t expect to yield freedom just because a woman yields sex, so she’s seen as a competitor and her hard-headedness generates challenge to his manly skill.

42. If a man doesn’t have to earn her for marriage, she’s not all that valuable to him. If she’s eager and willing and intends to win him, then he thinks contrary to her wishes. First, it’s not his idea. Second, she must be      desperate or worse. Third, let’s get back to sex.

43. Before she marries is the most effective time for a woman’s natural hard-headedness to shine. Not hard-headed to tell men what to do but to protect her sexual assets; convince them of her values, standards, and expectations; and indirectly convey the thought that they must win her to have her.

44. During dating and courtship is the most effective time for a woman’s soft-heartedness to dull. Soft heart never won brave knight.

45. After they marry is the appropriate time for a woman’s soft-heartedness to be continually polished into a bright reflection and example for the family. Soft-heartedness charms husband into remaining responsible for family and grown children to want to visit mom.

46. After they marry, wife’s hard-headedness doesn’t free up Mr. Good Enough to morph into Mr. Right. If he does what she says all the time, she will lose respect for him. If he takes her expectations too readily, he won’t realize his greatest potential for brightening their future.

47. Women mistakenly think that sex the first time with a man is the same as sexual events that follow. Not so. A man changes dramatically after conquering a woman. He inherits certain ‘rights’ of the conqueror that shape their relationship for life.

48. The ease with which a woman yields sex their first time together tells the man how dominant he can be and how submissive he expects her to be. The ratio that results shapes their relationship till the end.

49. Sex neither before nor after marriage holds a man. Sex bonds her but not him. By violating their nature with promiscuous sex for the sake of sex, even married women later find their lives much emptier than planned, intended, or hoped. Bond with their man doesn’t satisfy their childhood hopes and dreams.

50. Sex after marriage is totally his due, because he gave up his freedom in exchange for frequent, convenient, and on-demand sex, except when he decides to obey her needs or grant her wishes. (Readers, don’t read too much into it. It’s his nature in the raw that is usually cooked by experience into something more reasonable.)

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1799. Sex Difference Redux—Part 50: Conquest Changes Her Too


Two conquerors face off. From before their first date, he seeks to conquer her for sex. After a date or three at the latest, she seeks to conquer him for marriage. The winner becomes the major influence in their relationship.

A man leads two lives with every woman to whom he is attracted. He is one way before he conquers her. He changes after conquest (details at #1759) and shapes their relationship around ‘rights of conquest’ to which he is entitled by virtue of having earned it. (It’s his nature.)

The woman also changes after yielding sex the first time with a man. He exploits his conqueror’s rights and his attitude about subsequent sexual and relationship events surprises her. His unexpected change forces her to face the contradiction that he didn’t bond as she did. It forces her to change too but defensively.

His nature causes it. The ease with which she yields the first time tells him how assertively dominant he can be and how submissive he expects her to be. For practical purposes, it’s proportional. The easier she yields, the more submissive he expects her to be. The more assertively, reasonably, justifiably, and longer she defends herself and refuses his pleadings and threats, the less dominant he expects to be in her life. (She sends confounding and perhaps confusing messages but the overall reception by him is to consider her expectations superior to his conquering spirit.)

To delay his conquest, she repeatedly denies going beyond foreplay that she can handle. She teaches him to romance her, show affection, please her, and show habitual intimacy. Thus, she sets faithful and admirable examples, and he becomes an ardent fan of hers—provided he’s after her and not just after sex. (If he doesn’t act in adaptive ways to honor her expectations, he won’t honor her hopes and dreams later in life. The differences qualify or disqualify him as her potential mate; she need only decide which.)

After conquest, he assumes control of their sexual agenda. Some women ignore or rebel and try to work it backwards. They yield easily and provide sex aplenty in order to keep him around. Then, after marriage, they try to manipulate him by withholding sex. They make three mistakes: 1) Sex before marriage does not bond or hold him. 2) She is justified and expected to protect her assets just as he protects his freedom, so she’s free to hold out for marriage. 3) Manipulation breaks a man’s bond.

Sex after marriage is totally his due, because he gave up his freedom for her in exchange for frequent and convenient sex-on-demand. If she expects greater respect than having husband always demanding sex, she needs to earn more unconditional respect before conquest. What she earns then lingers within him, while the respect she earns after conquest is very conditional and easily fades (again, it’s the male nature.)

Males insist on sex without marriage, because impatience and reluctance to yield their independence flood the conquering spirit. By yielding too early, women go along to get along. Thus, they add strength and right-mindedness to masculine domination. Manly behavior is thus made easier and womanly behavior more submissive.

Women that yield easy sex trap themselves on this multiple lane highway of pain and misery: Hook up, link up, shack up, marry up, muck up, ‘fess up, split up, pay up, and end up looking to start over with knock up somewhere along the way. The path is direct; ignore the female strength of refusing sex to gain a better life and expect misery to follow.

A man’s admiration and unconditional respect for a female as a distinctly different sexual person stops growing after she first yields sex to him. The longer and more successfully she holds out for marriage before sex, the more admiration and lasting respect she earns from him.

Female misery for capturing a husband starts with yielding before he becomes devoted to her. Who does what after that is moot. Women still lose and click and drag themselves into the recycle bin, from which many never escape. (Of course men threaten to dump a woman if she does not submit. Extortion comes easily to men when pursuing an unconquered sex target. His threats, however, confirm that he’s only after sex and not her. Holding out during a long courtship is how she determines whether his true intentions aim for her or just for sex.)

Because sex bonds women, they mistakenly assume that it bonds men. His devotion to a woman developed through a sex-free courtship bonds a man, and marriage seals the deal. In the final analysis, men do whatever women require in order for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex.

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1032. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 28


♂ As a couple moves far beyond conquest, foreplay and intimacy after sex both shorten. It’s nothing wrong with her. Once frequent and convenient sex are available, his nature suffers an impatience that refocuses quickly on what comes next—cigarette, beer, sleep, departure, job?

♂ Sex before marriage keeps her from knowing his true self and him from grasping her full array of wifely qualities.

 ♂ A husband appreciates wifely confirmations of his astuteness, skill, and persistence about his job, especially if such feedback is lacking at work. It’s a form of respect without which he starts to look for appreciation and encouragement elsewhere. 

♂ Men capture and hold a good woman. Far too easily, however, they seek to upgrade when a better one comes along. This natural longing continues after marriage, unless he’s convinced he already has the best or nearly best available for him. (Don’t you see what a courtship job she has convincing him that there’s no one better than her for him?)

 ♂ Feminists altered masculine competition. Nowadays, men compete with women for sex, instead of competing with men for a woman. Two major consequences:

  1. Women are pressured away from attracting a husband to attracting a boyfriend. Thus, men don’t have to rise up to husbandly standards and easily sink to boyfriend standards.
  2. If men can’t have a beauty of a sex object, they don’t want a wife. This changes social pressures to make women good primarily for sex and little else of greater value.

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