Tag Archives: sex

2010. Dressed to Kill—His Imagination That Is


PREFACE. Feminists endorsed and encouraged it. Women dress down for female convenience rather than dress up for attracting male attention. Doing so minimizes and neutralizes the male urge for sex and is supposed to help promote the death of patriarchy. Feminists and advocates even used shame via sexist and harassment claims. Didn’t work, did it. Male dominance worsens, because men have been made desperate to defend themselves against politics. They try harder and even fight back; they take it out on women who act more like enemies than friendlies. The natural and unconquerable male urge for sex has morphed into disrespect for female-friendly interests.

REALITY. The real world produces unintended consequences. Using politics to alter human nature, Feminism’s fallout continues. 1) It neutralizes masculine interest in one woman and spreads manly interest to all females. 2) Makes conquest more relevant and respectable to men than family responsibility. 3) Weakens unconditional respect for the opposite sex, both ways too. 4) Makes girls better conquest targets and trophies. 5) Makes the marital marketplace less friendly for female aging. 6) Destroys interest in lifetime togetherness for couples. 7) Demolishes the girlhood hopes and dreams of women.

A woman’s appearance sends messages that women can read but men decode subliminally. For example, these are common. Sloppy attire symbolizes the lack of admirable qualities, aka virtues. Low-care grooming symbolizes low self-respect, which precludes fascination. Dressed below what the occasion calls for can be read as self-worth of lesser value, aka low self-image, than that of the others present. Overdressed for an occasion can signal pretention, phoniness, or fashion ignorance. An overly erotic appearance signals cheapness. None discourages the masculine urge for conquest, but all of the above discourage manly interest in anything beyond first-sex together.

To be more specific, how does a woman’s skin-tight clothing influence men? Flab and flaws discourage or offend male eyeballs, turn off masculine curiosity, and reduce the interest of men looking for more than sex. Lack of perfection dulls his eye-viewing except for conquest. The thought arises that she appears desperate and will yield easily. In exchange for conquest he accepts that she will look worse unwrapped. So does he want her?

Einstein said, “Imagination is greater than knowledge.” However, without curiosity a man’s imagination doesn’t energize to penetrate beyond her surface appearance. His eyes reveal all the knowledge he needs. Skin-tight wrappings reveal that beneath it she’s careless, not neat, and probably desperate. An acceptable conquest but little else, perhaps nothing beyond it. Whatever his interest becomes, he forms it without knowing or even caring what she really looks like undressed. That’s the wrong way to teach a man to devote himself to one woman.

Her careful and neat dressing in loose but attractive clothing has another and very opposite effect. It opens his curiosity, fires his imagination about how she will look unwrapped beyond his apparent knowledge, and sparks his interest to find out more about her. Her not appearing desperate, he judges her as challenging.

Subsequently searching for her weaknesses that may help get her into bed, he learns of her admirable qualities (aka virtues). Over time they accumulate and hopefully transform her into a fascinating woman by his standards.

Non-judgmental is a popular but misleading buzzword and even worse for women. People could not survive much less live successfully without judging others. Female clothing and appearance invite or discourage masculine interest. Women shape their future when they shape their appearance to make themselves feel good about pleasing manly eyeballs. Skin-tight clothing has the effect opposite of what men find attractive for more than sex. Thus, skin-tight clothing defeats a man’s interest in spending enough time to uncover a woman’s fascination.

10 Comments

Filed under Her glory

2003. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 91


  • What is a man’s love? Women see it as inadequate because female love is far more proactive than male love. Love is a man’s satisfaction—which is not a motivator—with his woman’s importance in his life. Perhaps, although not a natural urge, he displays affection or other expressions of his gratefulness.
  • Big breasts and deep cleavage stir the adolescent spirit of men but little else. Neither stirring of adolescence nor focusing men on sex has much to do with promoting romantic or eternal love. Men do not love for sex; they love a fascinating woman and foresee promise that she can make their life mutually satisfying with sex playing a major role.
  • This happens naturally. You pray to God on behalf of someone that you do not like or respect all that much or perhaps not at all. Keep it up. Prayers change your heart and you soon find that you really do respect the person and maybe even like them. More respect improves relationships. Wives, are you listening?
  • Women’s hopes and dreams form in girlhood, remain for life, and adjust to reality. Men’s hopes and dreams originate throughout life amid intentions to change at least the world nearby.
  • She practices virtual virginity and has been invited for a weekend out of town. She accepts and demands to pay for her separate accommodations. Her message cannot be misunderstood.
  • Women feel lonely in the absence of others. Being alone, men are not lonely if they have something they should be doing. A man’s sense of responsibility thus prevents loneliness.
  • Born to seek and find satisfaction, men also find that it placates disappointments. Born to be happy, however, women must earn it. They seek happiness also to assuage the guilt that makes them feel undeserving. But it does not fully happen until they learn how to forgive themselves.
  • Usually justified as convenient and unnecessary to win masculine attention, careless and sloppy habits in females reflect low self-esteem, diminish self-respect, weaken self-worth, shrink self-image, and lower self-interest. IOW, females develop shortcomings in those cornerstones of personality that normally earn the admiration of men. Shortcomings, however, that other women see and duplicate to be fashionable and ‘join the crowd’. Such female leaders and followers ignore and consequently fail to honor this natural law. Women compete with other women for the best men. The lack of female competition within their gender, which normally generates higher standards among men, lowers the character of human behavior all across society—morally, religiously, philosophically, politically, economically. OTOH, extending themselves beyond convenience enables women to dominate the cultural values that tame male aggressiveness and guide both sexes in society.

 

7 Comments

Filed under sex differences

1999. Compatibility Axioms #444-450


444. Wives want to be shown more affection, but husbands stay focused and specialize on their own satisfactions. Men must be trained to show as much affection as women desire. (If his parents didn’t exemplify it in childhood, he’s not likely to improve himself very much in adulthood, except when a long, sex-free courtship requires that he develop new habits for displaying affection to her.)  [153]
445. As husbands see it, anger and aggressiveness are male traits, and a wife should be above such offending behavior. (This makes feminine charm, patience, and indirectness highly effective at harmonizing a pair of self-interested people into mutual interest. Of course it’s not fair, but it exploits both the natural differences between the sexes and her greatest potential as relationship expert.) [153]

446. The greater her feminine virtue, then the greater his respect, which is balanced on the knife-edge that qualities he admire guarantee her faithfulness to him alone. Men expect fidelity first, always, and to be obvious in their woman. (Neither equality nor fairness has anything to do with it; it’s born into men.) [153]

447. A man changes after conquest. By joining the conquered, she loses being exceptional to him. (It doesn’t mean that she loses everything, just that he views and values her differently, and she must change accordingly to hold him. Unfortunately, how he changes is unpredictable, because his agendas remain hidden until he’s devoted and not just committed to her.) [153]
448. If he’s after sex more than her, she’s temporary until the next sex target comes along and maybe sooner. [153]
449. Before their first sex together, and even without trying, women condition a man’s thinking about who dominates whom, when, how, and what’s tolerable. They both learn how much she can weaken, suppress, manhandle, or overrule his dominance—or collapse as easy prey from weaker purpose or character. [154]
450. If she conquers him for marriage before sex, it signals that devotion to her governs his commitment. It also diminishes both his dominating and conquering spirits. This doesn’t guarantee faithfulness, but it provides more permanent alternatives for her than sex before marriage. [154]

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter

1983. Compatibility Axioms #441 — Relationship Malpractice


441. The big things don’t hold a man, such as sex, feeding, love, likeability, respect, devotion. The accumulation of little malpractices causes his interests in her to seep away through cracks she causes with disrespectful and ungrateful incidents. Such as:

  • He never measures up to her expectations that are so heavily weighted down with feminist theory and dogma. [150]
  • She values the feminine-like side of his personality more than his masculine persona. Being thoughtful, pleasant, and accommodating outweighs his producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving. [150]
  • Her private time is respected. His gets interrupted. [150]
  • She supervises the Honey-do list so closely as to be offensive. [150]
  • She corrects him as if scolding a child. [150]
  • She dislikes and tries to correct his masculine expressions and manliness. [150]
  • She interferes with his way of doing things, as if he isn’t handy and needs her input for everything. [150]
  • She excuses her frequent criticism by calling it ‘constructive’. [150]
  • She shows signs that she appreciates him, but only when things go her way. [164]
  • She makes her nesting more important than his ego. For example, her drive for fashion in the home outweighs to a fault his desire for functionality. [164]

More to follow.

10 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

1980. Compatibility Axioms #410-420


411. Using sex to capture a boyfriend is easy. Sex infatuates boys, but it does not bond men. Thus, unmarried sex paves the road to ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, or -wife. [143]
412. Women have no greater direct influence on their own personal world than when they refuse to provide unmarried sex. Yielding weakens their influence and determination and it enhances the guys’ dominating spirits. [143]
413. Women have two major windows in which they can by design change their man: A long courtship before they first have sex and years later in marriage after Nature softens his heart. Both periods, however, require patience, indirectness, and feminine charm. [143]
414. Women reject a long and chaste courtship. They prefer the joys of sex—or to have a boyfriend. They bypass the opportunity to make sure he’s Mr. Good Enough with potential for Mr. Right after a couple of decades of marriage. Taking the road of sex instead of opportunity, she feels greater pressure to ‘fix his faults’ soon after they marry, It’s a sure-fire way to push him toward other arms. [143]
415. Women want to change their man after marriage but find that they can’t. The male nature resists her pressures to change, except as a woman delays his premarital conquest and stimulates him to more deliberately earn her. As he explores her for weaknesses that may lead them to bed, he uncovers and admires other qualities. Admired qualities become virtues, which morph into fascination that holds his interest in her. [143]
416. A long sex-free courtship resolves uncertainty about a man’s character and potential for successful marriage. Most men reveal their true character when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together. But, women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic (although men easily yield wedding prep control). [143]
417. A simple test of a man’s devotion: With his actions, he honors her interest ahead of his own. If, however, he continually pleases her at the expense of his manly dreams or obligations, she will lose respect for him and he will eventually become dumper or dumpee. [143]
418. Spill her guts and end up in ruts. Her status regarding virginity and details about her love life are personal and, if known to her man, will likely be used against her sometime, someplace, somehow when she least expects it. [145]
419. Knowing her sexual history, suspicion sprouts from her man’s imagination when future troubles plague their relationship. She may not even recognize it, because the questions and consequences arise in his mind. As Einstein said: Imagination is greater than knowledge. [145]
420. Husband may run into one of her former love interests. What to do? How to avoid? Will he know for sure? How was their sex? What does the other guy think about the woman he passed on to husband? Is she still interested in the ex? Competitors want to know such things. [145]

5 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

1979. Admiration: The Prime Motivator of Men


Women don’t recognize the tap-root of male nature, that which primarily motivates a man. Women focus too much on sex and  seem not to understand the full picture of that*. Something else energizes him and determines what he does and becomes, primarily does for himself but also in relationships. If women use it to figure out their man, both become more valuable in the eyes of the other.

The closed loop of male behavior is structured around one thing, earning admiration. First, earn it himself for himself. Second, witness other people earn it from him and thus enable his judgment ability to be self-admired.

The loop emanates from his primal need for self-admiration and proceeds close to this order: generate ambitions, determine missions, set goals, and accomplish things. Successes all along that process provide self-admiration. A satisfied need no longer motivates, however, and so out springs the urge for more significant achievements and more self-admiration. Men are constantly reaching for new, better, and greater ambitions. The process of earning admiration never ends even after age or incapacity make labor no longer the primary venue.

For this article, we consider that which he earns for himself and that which he enables women to earn from him. Obviously there is more, admiration of men for example, but that’s another story.

Self. A man’s deep-rooted need of self-admiration prompts him to seek work, any work, as it provides the best opportunity**. He admires himself for successful achievements and even for his potential to be successful at whatever he undertakes. Both achievements and his potential accumulate and blend to become his sense of significance and consequent self-worth in his world. He admires his significance as the ultimate truth, because it’s the product of all that he’s produced. Although seldom recognized except when women threaten it, a reinforcing helper for his urge to accomplish things is this: His greatest fear is insignificance.

Men welcome and appreciate the recognition and admiration of others, but it’s not essential. They are independent by nature and reasonably satisfied with self-admiration. Lessons learned in life, however, make them expect recognition, appreciation, and even admiration for their efforts. And especially from those who depend upon them without giving due credit.

Women. A woman becomes of lasting personal interest to a man because of her virtues, those qualities in her that he admires and that remain or may be discovered after conquest. As described in post 1977, qualities that he admires become virtues. Virtues of importance to him make her fascinating, which is the attraction that holds him. With more virtues and increased intensity in her fascination, a man finds promise in her as his mate. And that pulls or pushes him to or at least toward the altar.

Being unconquered is not a virtue; he wants her for sex but he doesn’t admire her status. However, he respects virtual virginity. Her determination to protect her interest by not yielding earns his admiration. Her availability for post-conquest sex is not a virtue either; too many other willing women. Unless, that is, he admires her sexual—shall I say—dexterity? But that can lead to loss of respect for her, which is another story.

His motivational consideration of her boils down to this. Her qualities earn his admiration. It pleases his sense of self-admiration for finding her so virtuous and thus fascinating. That makes her fit snugly into his personal ambitions, missions, goals, and accomplishments that he anticipates for the present and perhaps the future.

——

*To the male mind, conquest and other sex are significantly different in both urge and result.

**Childcare and housekeeping lack opportunity because they don’t require his strengths or expertise. The former threatens his significance, too much potential to innocently do harm or produce bad or poor results. The latter requires boredom in order to endure. Neither has much potential to earn self-admiration. Better ways exist and he wants to get to them.

——

NOTE: I suspect that the sexes are hugely divided over what they think are virtues in a woman. For those readers who may be interested, I could enjoy seeing what they nominate as virtuous in the eyes of men. Not what women tell themselves is virtuous about each other, but what they think men admire in the normal course of masculine behavior. Whatever you nominate, I will try to contrast it to what I think men admire. We might be able to piece together something significant to portray as sex differences.

 

15 Comments

Filed under sex differences

1950. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 88


  • Girls should know better than to share certain information about female uniqueness with boys. Female mystery is far too influential and advantageous to females to disclose it to the immature. [75]
  • I’m a man. If you’re not interested in what I do, you’re not interested in me. If I’m not interested in you as a unique person, then I’m not truly interested in you for more than sex.
  • Givers are happier than takers and it starts here. Givers show trust and it earns the receiver’s respect, which adds to the giver’s trustworthiness and self-respect. Takers lack respect and it earns distrust, which adds to the lack of respect for the taker. However, the taker takes because it embellishes his self-respect to put something over on someone else.
  • Mothers nurture and teach right and wrong. Fathers teach obedience. If father doesn’t teach unconditional obedience to mother as his first objective, kids learn how to play mom against dad and vice versa. The more mom-authority that grows silently and uncontested out of father’s support, the more able she becomes for building respect for him as CEO of the home.
  • Men think they know everything and expect to do what they expect. When women explain themselves and disclose their inner thoughts, men gain immense advantage and conquest become piece-of-cake easy.

9 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

807. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 12


  • I’ve read and seen much about body language, but not this one: He shakes hands with his palm facing down. It reflects a very strong drive to dominate.
  • If she can keep quiet with a pleasant smile (not a smirk), when all around lose their composure, she triggers their invitation to speak.
  • Opposites attract for good reason. People too much alike measure one another by their own failings, and this makes judgments more harsh, common, and threatening to their relationship.
  • Two great male scams rationalized and copied by women: We should live together to make sure we’re sexually compatible. Women also deserve masculine-style sexual freedom.
  • People with firm life missions and hard convictions tend to see things in terms of black and white and seldom gray.
  • Knowledge may be power, but his knowledge of her naked body weakens her power. If what he knows makes her more desirable, his male dominance stirs stronger. If what he knows makes her less desirable, her influence with him weakens. (Another reason why marriage needs more than romantic love and sex.)
  • THE RULES tell women to deal with men in certain ways. WhatWomenNeverHear tells women WHAT, WHERE, WHO, WHEN, HOW, and WHY to figure it all out and deal more successfully with men.

16 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter