1189. Boot Camp for Girls—Day 26: Graduation

Girls have an instinctive ability to handle boys. However, many lack enough talent and skills to win consistently. New knowledge improves talent and broadens skills. So, squeeze this baker’s dozen of truisms into your thinking of the future.   

1. HardToGet keeps a girl in the driver’s seat. Non-passionate relations make the best bus tires for rolling over the hottest boys.
2. Self-respect counts most in a girl’s character. Without it, self-confidence plummets. Earning self-confidence builds self-respect. So, she gets what she earns as she pursues her hopes and dreams.  
3. A girl’s happy future with a happy mate depends more on his integrity than anything else. Integrity strengthens mutual respect, commitment to marriage, devotion to her, and his vow-keeping.
4. A busted courtship shouldn’t be such a big deal. Multiple courtships pay off. Her man’s character depends on her making enough wrong judgments to learn how to choose the best man for her.
5. Ladylike behavior, high modesty standards, and moral expectations stir men to be gentlemanly in a woman’s presence. It also works for girls.  
6. A boy takes interest in a girl for two prime reasons. Fixation on sex energizes him temporarily. Desire for her admiration focuses him on long-term possibilities. If she enables the former, she can forget the latter.
7. Self-respect fades when you give what you oughtn’t, do what you shouldn’t, or suffer what you needn’t.
8. Do what’s right, avoid what’s wrong, but more importantly, always do what you should.
9. Kissing does matter. Sensuous suggests the rightness of you for him. Passionate suggests the rightness of him for sex.
10. Guilt guides your life, so start now affirming your intention and ability to do what you should. Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself and don’t look back. Old guilt leads to depression when loaded with doubt about how you previously handled it.  
11. A boy respects what he can’t conquer. He respects chastity in general and especially a girl’s abstinence with him. A man’s love rests on a firm foundation of respect for a woman. Boys want sex, and so he keeps trying. Where else can she get enough respect, unless she keeps denying sex but not disrespecting his trying?
12. Feminine beats plain femaleness. Mystery beats full disclosure. Modesty beats masculine morality. Monogamy beats sexual freedom. All of it makes males back off from their naturally dominant personas, which helps fulfill female hopes and dreams.   
13. If you can train boys to follow your conscience, you’re well on the way to excellent relationship expertise.

Congratulations to everyone that completed boot camp. Only you know who you are but reward yourself some way. I’m proud of you.

Regular WWNH broadcasting resumes tomorrow.

809. Adolescent Thinking Darkens Adult Life — II

Article 799 defined the causes and effects of this subject: Adolescent thinking in adulthood plagues the female gender. You’ve witnessed plenty adolescent behavior in adults, so I’ll describe more of what women never hear about themselves.

• About every seven years girls reject the values, standards, and practices of their predecessors. They develop their own generational identity. They value first-hand experience over someone else’s; their disrespect for previous generations expands a little more.
• Teen girls use boys to measure and model themselves. It makes girls too easily distrust and even dislike their own nature, especially their unique femininity.
• Adolescent thinking promotes popularity as essential, fame/notoriety as good, and celebrities as ideal role models. Distinctiveness and being disconnected from ‘idols’ and ‘heroes’ of previous generations becomes all-important as they age through the teens.
• Adolescent-minded females use males as role models for attire, grooming, and habits including exploiting sexual freedom. Regardless of reasons for female behavior, males find natural dominance so much easier to follow than stop-and-think-and-appreciate behaviors that can lead to cherishing a female.
• Adolescent-minded adults don’t know they’re mentally shaped that way. Short on mature adult values learned as tweens, they learned as teens to rationalize and justify immature behavior, and so they retain the practice in adulthood.

Mental adolescence leads to adult behaviors such as friends with benefits, and it energizes male aggressiveness in relationships. More follows in Part III due out shortly.

650. Quips & Tips — List 2

 ♦       We’re much more transparent that we think. Attitude is the outer expression of inner self, and non-judgmentalism is wishful thinking.

♦       “The heart cannot accept what the mind rejects.” (Kerby Anderson, 12/7/08)

♦       People are as happy as they act happy; feelings follow actions.

♦       Acceptance that one is a victim keeps one from helping their self.

♦       Modern women struggle from two strategic blunders: They practice masculine-style sexual freedom before and try to change their man after marriage.

♦       A man’s faults don’t condemn a marriage; they are but symbols. Split up starts with her faulty strategy—she fails to screen him sufficiently, accepts him as is, and then tries to change him to compensate for her poor choice.

♦       People are as grateful as they show gratitude; again, feelings follow actions.

♦       Couples see things differently. Women complain about relationship maintenance, and they mean interactive problems between two people. Men complain about the harpy in their home, which means disharmony in the castle.

♦       People are as offended as they decide to be.

♦       Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. (Not original but I lost the source.)

648. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 5

• Modern sexual freedom distracts women from the best interests of females and grossly enlarges the sexual side of male self-interest.

 

• Masculine self-interest about sex primarily seeks new conquests and secondarily returns to the conquered. One exception short circuits this sex interest: A woman so captivating that he’d rather please her, respect her wishes, and honor her dreams than have sex right now.

 

• Catching and keeping a man requires that each woman play the game according to what their man of interest values, not what women think works universally.  

 

• A lengthy courtship enables a woman to uncover and explore a man’s value system and learn what parts of it she can reprioritize to her favor.

 

• Young females teased innocently by men invariably smile pleasantly and flash a prettier face. This makes old men grateful for still being alive.

 

• Female sweetness bonds kids to women. Adult mystery and admirable character bond kids to men.

 

• Two kinds of mature people: Some have character shaped and maintained without regard for what others think, mostly males. Some have character shaped and maintained to fit in successfully with others in life, mostly females.

647. QUIPS & TIPS — List 1

Big or testy problems can be made simpler. These don’t solve problems, but they provide a better perspective for attacking issues common to female interests:

♦       Love ain’t nearly enough to overcome all the little negatives that plague a relationship.

♦       Morality means living up to principles higher than Man. Secularism and Humanism promote living up to principles made of, by, and for Man. So, which better serves females?

♦       Happiness flows out of one’s gratitude and broader may be more beneficial than deeper.

♦       Depression comes from someone sensing they lack control of something, things, or life. It eases by gaining greater control.

♦       Commitment has little staying power; devotion has plenty.

♦       What her respect for him means to her man, his sweetness to her (aka attention, affection, intimacy) means to her. Without it respectively, they both lose self-respect.

♦       When people have nothing higher than themselves to live up to, they live down to human passions.

♦       Bitterness is anger turned inward against oneself.

♦       Severe unhappiness is ingratitude turned inward. It comes from unwillingness or inability to be grateful for someone else or others.

♦       Men love femininity, but the popularity of masculine-style sexual freedom among females makes femininity important only for the potential it holds for the long term.

556. Response to Viewer — Item 10

Becca emailed this: I do have a question that I feel is overlooked by many people advocating holding off on sex with a man until he has proven his devotion… what if you just happen to love sex? Obviously one of the “prizes” for men upon marrying a woman is securing a stable sex partner, but what are women to do if they enjoy sex just as much? I’m not so sure I could keep things at such a “platonic” level during courtship, especially if I’m really attracted to a man… or at least I never have been able to. Any advice for a girl with seriously raging hormones?

AGM responds:

First, I don’t offer advice. I try to describe life, and you make choices with new information.

Second, if you value sex above a permanent male partner, continue as you are. However, if you wish to change, think about other things and act differently. We become what we think about AND DO.

Third, I believe the odds for capturing and holding a good man favor shuffling sex onto the back burners of a female’s life.

Fourth, if you sacrifice something, it becomes more important. If you do so with sex in order to uplift a man into husband, he becomes more valuable too. He will like that.

Fifth, some viewers may add something, and I encourage it.

Guy

510. Virtual Virginity #22

Uncommitted single women float around in the social atmosphere ill prepared to succeed dealing with men:

¸ Some want a man so badly, they’ll do anything. They use sex as attraction and have no other game plan. They hook up with hope, only to later hear each guy’s “Nope.”

¸ Others want a man, but they’re uncertain, cautious, and either have no values and standards or don’t live by those they do have. Their game plan has holes in it. Men pounce on each weakness. The holes kill holding power and make easier his escape to the next trophy.

¸ Still others elevate their masculine-style sexual freedom above having one man. They have the wrong game plan, if they expect to hold a man for very long.

The same answer helps all three groups. Virtual virginity doesn’t foolproof the game, but it focuses a couple on themselves instead of sex and the future rather than the present. Both prospects interest a man, and that’s holding power.

494. Keepers for Keepers — Assortment 17

Dear Daughter: A few more to consider.

☼    A long courtship without sex enables her to slowly grow the conviction that she needs and trusts him for who he is and not just for being a man and what he says. [17]

☼    A man’s drive to be head of the house far overpowers a woman’s natural objections to it. [4]

☼    A man’s devotion wilts and dies, when he’s not appreciated in an upbeat fashion for who he is and what he does. [7]

☼    A woman’s obvious immodesty frees up masculine self-restraint. [12]

☼    Her respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does holds him as partner. [7]

☼    As women go, so goes society. Masculine-style sexual freedom practiced by females dooms marriage, faithful husbanding, and responsible fathering as institutions.[2]

☼    Feminine adherence to moral standards earns masculine respect. [7]

☼    Exceptionalness to men means that he and other men haven’t had her and can’t have her without paying the dearest price—masculine freedom. [17]

☼    A wife is a reflection of her husband. A wife is a reflection of her husband. A wife is a reflec…. [17]

☼    People don’t improve by being told of their faults. They improve to meet the expectations of those they like, admire, and respect—those who cite their strengths and reliability. Husbands are people. [18]