I expound upon about a great paragraph, but do it in reverse order from effect to cause to consequence. Her Highness Denise said this:
“I’m finding that more and more, younger men seem to focus on being the good friend and involved father, and perhaps even affectionate husband, rather than provider-protector. The “new normal” emphasizes equality in roles, and I’m not sure whether these new kinds of relationships show that men and women have found a new equilibrium that will ultimately work just as well, or whether there are hidden negative consequences waiting down the line.”
Effect. Denise describes a “new normal” and I agree but not about equilibrium. The female gender as a whole has swung toward praising certain men for satisfying female demands and expectations. Women expect more female-type displays of affection, friendship-love, and fatherly nurturing. Macho men and masculinity are less popular and often disrespected by women. Women upstage their men with higher incomes, status, and ability to provide-protect. In many other ways, men are put down but yet expected to please women. Women compensate by reasoning that they deserve masculine-style sexual freedom.
The political urgings of equality all across society have changed the culture to please the radical feminists who originally aimed to destroy patriarchy. Male behaviors have been ground and sanded into female-defined roles foreign to the male nature. Some men find success relating with women on female terms. But other men find inadequate satisfaction and resent, resist, and retaliate against females who urge for more female-friendly behavior.
The female gender as a spirit continues to endorse some unisex society. But more legal, political, and economic equality produces much more turmoil on the social and domestic scenes. The female gender operates with little male gender input. They have definitions and expectations but no end-game except masculine-style sexual freedom and husbandly household care. Denise wonders if a new equilibrium has been found. It’s a female hope, but equality is not attainable. The losers fight back. My bet is that the masculine pursuit of fairness will carry this century. The consequences below seem to point that way, that women will learn and adjust to get what they are after. That is, more reliable, steadfast, and long-lasting marriage.
Cause. Article 1915 describes this natural phenomenon. Men are born with loads of firmly implanted and permanent self-respect, and they expect respect shown by others to match or exceed it. They become aggressively troublesome when they don’t witness enough respect. OTOH, they are born without self-love, and so they don’t expect to be loved for no reason. They automatically strive to earn it from those who are important to them. But they only know one way, natural way that is. They produce, provide, protect, and problem solve. All else, such as just being affectionate without sex on the mind, is learned behavior.
Denise’s “new normal” is the result of some men setting aside their self-respect long enough to earn self-love first with the self-promise they can recover their self-respect. Does it work for such men and will it work for the remainder of men? Or, will relationships continue to wilt to the dissatisfaction of both sexes? You be the judge, next.
Consequence. How well and how long can women treat men as they do today and live with the masculine nature that urges men to:
- Build their ambitions around their need for self-admiration, amidst women who continue to condemn manly ambitions that don’t resonate well with uniquely female values?
- Seek to develop their self-love by earning the love of women, but who continually berate manly traits and habits that build male self-respect?
- Reinforce their self-respect by charming women into bed and leaving them?
- Go into fight or flight mode and leave adrift women who try to change them?
- Experience the 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, and 20-year switch?
- Learn to love from women who respect them dearly?
- Value a female sexually according to how few men had her out of wedlock?
- Consider it unforgiveable for their woman to physically cheat on them?
- Protect or restore their self-respect first and above all else?
- Respect women for their ability to withhold premarital sexual relations?
- Love females to the extent that women respect and admire them?
- Learn from females to act civilized and domesticate themselves to the expectations of women?
- Conquer women for short-term and frequent convenience?
- Abhor women who cast doubt on a man’s sexual performance or ability?
- Consider masculine-style sexual freedom wrong for women but so compensable for men that they overlook other female wrongdoings?
- Focus on ‘me before us’ and ‘you before us’?
- Choose a mate based on a woman’s uniqueness, respectable character, and the promise he sees in her for supporting his efforts in life?
- Not value what women say as much as what women do?
- Resist adamantly their mate’s efforts to change him?
- …etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Who knows how long that list could grow? Throughout this blog hundreds of sex differences appear that women choose to ignore or condemn in order to have their way, in order to elevate themselves over men rather than expecting men to put women on pedestals. Women can get what they expect but not what they dictate. Each man’s dominance is conquerable by some woman, but patriarchy has proven indestructible for six millennia but manageable in earlier America.
Historical Note. In the past half-century women have been de-trained from recognizing one simple trait of the female psyche. Women naturally respect other people until events discourage it. Men are opposite. Women put themselves in control, when they unconditionally honor the masculine nature. Then, marital relations become easier and more steadfast because men work harder to maintain the respect of their mates. Men are incapable of improving the female life without the indirect, imperceptible, and unoffending leadership of women.
That principle evolved into an American tradition until the 1960s. Both sexes unconditionally respected the opposite sex more than their own. It grew out of our political freedom and, while certainly not perfect, enabled women to chew away at the disadvantages of patriarchy. After the 1960s and for political reasons, radical feminists overwhelmed the natural trait of female patience in order to justify their attack on men and patriarchy. Women today have to overcome that debilitating legacy.