When love develops and sometimes even before, women lose their senses about one thing: The future can’t be anything but brighter with her new love object. She’s quick to call him The One or Mr. Right and proclaim it among girlfriends to share her excitement. (And subliminally discourage a hostile takeover of her man by a girlfriend.)
Put simply, a woman in love needs to protect herself from herself. Awarding him an unearned ‘rank’ by calling him The One or Mr. Right is premature at best and de-challenges him at worst. Such heartfelt conclusions lead down pot-holed toll roads for her and toll-free expressways for him.
If she adopts the following personal standards to shape his and her thinking and perspective, love will go much smoother and more advantageous for her. The standards are reusable and protect her if love afflicts her more than once.
Call him Mr. Good Enough to date him. Call him Mr. Promising to enter courtship. Call him The One after he proposes and is accepted. Finally, call him Mr. Right after many, many years of marital bliss or something close to it—ideally near end of life.
Calling husband The One can satisfy him better than being called Mr. Right. ‘One’ is ultimate and more meaningful to him. ‘Right’ is not ultimate, but more meaningful for her.
Why have these standards? Because women excited by love too easily overstate and over claim the promise one man holds for their future. Also, calling him better than what he’s earned eases challenges that keep him interested in her. If and when he claims prematurely that he’s Mr. Right, demote him. He’s using it because she wants to hear it. Never let him know he’s reached her ultimate until it’s too late for him to do anything else with anybody else—very old age.
Also, when a man deeply interested in a woman finds out he’s Mr. Good Enough but not The One, he rises to the challenge, seeks to outcompete other guys, and proves himself worthier and best for her. His actions lead to his devotion, but it takes time and requires much female patience.
In the end, she weakens her position by accepting him with any ‘rank’ that he’s not earned by her standards.
