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1799. Sex Difference Redux—Part 50: Conquest Changes Her Too


Two conquerors face off. From before their first date, he seeks to conquer her for sex. After a date or three at the latest, she seeks to conquer him for marriage. The winner becomes the major influence in their relationship.

A man leads two lives with every woman to whom he is attracted. He is one way before he conquers her. He changes after conquest (details at #1759) and shapes their relationship around ‘rights of conquest’ to which he is entitled by virtue of having earned it. (It’s his nature.)

The woman also changes after yielding sex the first time with a man. He exploits his conqueror’s rights and his attitude about subsequent sexual and relationship events surprises her. His unexpected change forces her to face the contradiction that he didn’t bond as she did. It forces her to change too but defensively.

His nature causes it. The ease with which she yields the first time tells him how assertively dominant he can be and how submissive he expects her to be. For practical purposes, it’s proportional. The easier she yields, the more submissive he expects her to be. The more assertively, reasonably, justifiably, and longer she defends herself and refuses his pleadings and threats, the less dominant he expects to be in her life. (She sends confounding and perhaps confusing messages but the overall reception by him is to consider her expectations superior to his conquering spirit.)

To delay his conquest, she repeatedly denies going beyond foreplay that she can handle. She teaches him to romance her, show affection, please her, and show habitual intimacy. Thus, she sets faithful and admirable examples, and he becomes an ardent fan of hers—provided he’s after her and not just after sex. (If he doesn’t act in adaptive ways to honor her expectations, he won’t honor her hopes and dreams later in life. The differences qualify or disqualify him as her potential mate; she need only decide which.)

After conquest, he assumes control of their sexual agenda. Some women ignore or rebel and try to work it backwards. They yield easily and provide sex aplenty in order to keep him around. Then, after marriage, they try to manipulate him by withholding sex. They make three mistakes: 1) Sex before marriage does not bond or hold him. 2) She is justified and expected to protect her assets just as he protects his freedom, so she’s free to hold out for marriage. 3) Manipulation breaks a man’s bond.

Sex after marriage is totally his due, because he gave up his freedom for her in exchange for frequent and convenient sex-on-demand. If she expects greater respect than having husband always demanding sex, she needs to earn more unconditional respect before conquest. What she earns then lingers within him, while the respect she earns after conquest is very conditional and easily fades (again, it’s the male nature.)

Males insist on sex without marriage, because impatience and reluctance to yield their independence flood the conquering spirit. By yielding too early, women go along to get along. Thus, they add strength and right-mindedness to masculine domination. Manly behavior is thus made easier and womanly behavior more submissive.

Women that yield easy sex trap themselves on this multiple lane highway of pain and misery: Hook up, link up, shack up, marry up, muck up, ‘fess up, split up, pay up, and end up looking to start over with knock up somewhere along the way. The path is direct; ignore the female strength of refusing sex to gain a better life and expect misery to follow.

A man’s admiration and unconditional respect for a female as a distinctly different sexual person stops growing after she first yields sex to him. The longer and more successfully she holds out for marriage before sex, the more admiration and lasting respect she earns from him.

Female misery for capturing a husband starts with yielding before he becomes devoted to her. Who does what after that is moot. Women still lose and click and drag themselves into the recycle bin, from which many never escape. (Of course men threaten to dump a woman if she does not submit. Extortion comes easily to men when pursuing an unconquered sex target. His threats, however, confirm that he’s only after sex and not her. Holding out during a long courtship is how she determines whether his true intentions aim for her or just for sex.)

Because sex bonds women, they mistakenly assume that it bonds men. His devotion to a woman developed through a sex-free courtship bonds a man, and marriage seals the deal. In the final analysis, men do whatever women require in order for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex.

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900. Keepers for Keepers — Assortment 23


  • Two conquerors compete and struggle. He seeks sex, and she seeks marriage. The conqueror shapes their subsequent relationship. [30]
  • A man’s love is based on unconditional respect for her gender, conditional respect of her, and her likeability supporting him in his work. [34]
  • Women work to love. Men love to work. [34]
  • Women like to claim that men are only after sex. Actually, sexual availability is the measure by which men test and judge women for their loyalty to and dependence upon a man. [34]
  • Men are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Women are born hard-headed but soft-hearted.  [36]
  • Women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. Men don’t think that way. (Both have A.D.D. as described in post #3 .) [34]
  • Women expect a man to be more romantic, but romance slows his urge to merge. Men romance each woman to the extent that she requires for him to initiate foreplay or sex. [33]
  • Men are not naturally romantic. If not ‘trained’ to habitually romance her before marriage, he won’t do it afterward and will likely be short on intimacy after sex. [33]
  • Feminism brought into the home changes the natural and cooperative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war of the genders. [30]
  • The real glue of a lasting marriage is not love so much as the absence of demeaning irritants, frequent hassles, and widening ingratitude for him and lessening of affection for her. [30]

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788. Gender Differences Revisited — Group P


  1. Sex and responsibility help men achieve their goals. Devotion to others and life tending toward the spiritual help women achieve theirs.
  2. With regard to unmarried sexual activity, women are whatever they decide to be. Men are whatever they have to be to have access.
  3. Two conquerors compete and struggle. He seeks sex, and she seeks marriage. The first to conquer shapes their future relationship together.
  4. Unlike men, women tend to change whatever and whomever they find as inadequate—oftentimes parenting husbands as boys.
  5. Unlike women, men draw a line between what is their business and what is not, between what they should change, and what they should leave to others.
  6. When a man wants comfort and understanding, he turns to any woman. When a woman wants those things, she turns to a specific man.
  7. Men look for taste bud satisfaction when eating. Women use food to help satisfy the necessities for life.
  8. When women sour on their marriage, they turn against men. When men sour on their marriage, they turn against marriage.

Finally, may your blessings in the new year be so great they obscure the defeats and bad times of the year ending today.

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