Beautiful granddaughter, you deserve to be placed on a pedestal. However, don’t rely on your beauty. It melts down with aging.
Boys don’t put a girl on a pedestal. Men don’t put a woman on a pedestal. Guys don’t put their fiancé on a pedestal. Husbands don’t put their wife on a pedestal. Females build their own pedestals. Males view the various pedestals and assess the promise emanating from them.
Females begin construction in girlhood and continue for decades and maybe life. They build their pedestal by stacking coins of virtue for each male to see, evaluate, and uncover her promise as girlfriend, fiancé, lover, or wife.
She must construct her own pedestal because of the way males think. First, they admire accomplishments. Second, they don’t believe in unearned gifts. Third, they expect hallowed respect to be earned. Fourth, to openly adore someone makes them look weak. Fifth, they love it when females put up with their expectations.
Expect your pedestal to be observed two ways. The man in your life sees your ingredients of construction, coins of virtue. Outside observers see how you’re adored by him.
Imagine coins of virtue stacked to rise with each coin added. The stack elevates her stature and status in male eyes. They add up to the promise she holds for her boyfriend/man/fiancé/husband. Other people recognize the pedestal top by how the current male in her life respects her as a person, girlfriend, female, and friend.
Now to the coins. Virtue means unique to females and complimentary to males. She adds value to herself and interest and comfort to his life. It registers as virtue and programs his heart in her favor.
(Forget about showing physical affection. It has little value as virtue. Boys see physical affection as prelude to foreplay and therefore sex. A female’s distinction from other females thus fades with displays of physical affection.)
I now present a goldfield of virtues just waiting to be mined and stacked as your personal pedestal. These foundations come first: Feminine mystique pleasantly defies his understanding of the female psyche. Female modesty proclaims female uniqueness. Moral behavior earns admiration for dedication to living the good life. Monogamous beliefs pledge sexual fidelity. Abstinence makes a man’s heart grow fonder (out of respect and promise of fidelity). The following make those foundations resonate with clarity and intensity.
- Physical attractiveness marvelously enhanced by affordable attire and classy grooming.
- Sexual attractiveness enhanced by modest coverings to reinforce that other men are forbidden.
- Gentleness provided out of patience.
- Forgetfulness that automatically follows forgiving someone.
- Thoughtfulness that her mate deserves.
- Gratefulness for her man that shines as her being happy when he’s around.
- Submissiveness as her spirit of cooperation.
- Happiness that spreads infectiously.
- Joyfulness that inspires greater hope.
- Chasteness promised to him by modest display of boobs and legs.
- Generousness that smashes selfishness out of her life.
- Delightfulness that makes her man smile.
- Unselfishness that spreads as example for all.
- Neatness that inspires others.
- Goodness that sets a shining example.
- Faithfulness that inspires him to follow suit.
- Competitiveness with him before marriage but only cautiously on matters of principle afterward.
- Cooperativeness with him on marital matters.
- Indirectness and seed planting used as main strategy for getting her way.
However, venom from the snake pit injects grease between coins of virtue. The greasiness destabilizes the pedestal structure. Venom such as:
- Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.
- Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.
- Selfishness never untaught to her in childhood.
- Busyness pursuing her personal rather than their mutual agenda.
- Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.
- Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions related to others.
- Fearsomeness brought on by mistakes or failures that she thinks might be repeated endlessly.
- Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to drive their bus.
- Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.
- Loneliness magnified by jealousy when he’s not alongside her.
- Lonesomeness inadequately handled when caused by husband’s absence at work.
- Moodiness that flows from her inability to control events in her life to her satisfaction.
- Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.
- Sloppiness that reflects badly on husband to his friends and competitors.
- Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.
- Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.
- Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.
Now, Honey Child, I don’t expect you to master those things in girlhood. You may never get to the top of such a pedestal. But, as with other things in life, do the best you can with what you have where you’re at. You know where you’re headed. Coins of virtue can also pave a great path toward fulfilling your hopes and dreams.
You may not think a pedestal is worth the effort to build it. But someday, without ever being aware, you’ll find yourself so self-reliant in your thoughts and deeds that you’ll love yourself for whom and what you are. Building such a pedestal puts you into living up to someone bigger than yourself, namely who you can become.