Tag Archives: virgin

1991. Self-gratitude—He Doesn’t Love the Whole You


As explained at post 1985, you face a seemingly impossible hurdle in pursuing, capturing, and retaining a potential Mr. Right. While he looks for weaknesses to get you into bed, you have to continually present some unknown quantity of unspecified qualities in ways that make Mr. Good Enough admire them sufficiently for you to appear fascinating. When fascination grows and your promise as his mate also becomes fascinating, he proposes and releases you to wedding planning. He does it all, you are the stimulus.

In the end, your fascination is what your man loves. It’s not the whole you, it’s those parts of you that fascinate and keep him submerged beneath your indirect stimulation and patient influence.

The diving board above the pool of your fascination is erected by this. You always look and act like the woman you hope to be, the woman of your affirming girlhood dreams. It calls for you to maximize the use of natural qualities inherited at birth and minimize the values and habits that flow out of your later development. Three examples: 1) Return to your modest nature and discard the immodest habits you picked up along the road of life. 2) Rather than absorb an offense with silence, react assertively against those who impose their filth on your feminine sensibilities. Determine to get the f- and c- and similar words out of your hearing range, whether you depart or remind others that your sensitivities are more important than their presence. 3) Never disclose to anyone—even family and girl friends—your virgin status, sexual history, or anything else that can cost you someone’s respect or be used against you when flare ups occur as they do in every relationship. Retain some degree of feminine mystique, aka mystery about why you insist on doing uniquely feminine things.

You can use prayer, but God’s timing does not always match yours. In fact, no way exists to make yourself more fascinating than by privately generating self-gratitude before your mirror image, your best friend, your reflection to whom you cannot lie. How to do that comes later.

 

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1981. Compatibility Axioms #421-430


421. Husband may forgive, but he can’t forget. Feminists claim that women need no forgiveness for previous love and sex interests. But, to men, it’s neither love nor forgiveness that counts. It’s her screwing other men, bending to the will of his competitors, and who knows when she may do it again? [145]
422. Her sexual history is best kept secret. In any event, she should never disclose any detail. The first detail will ignite his curiosity for more, followed by his imagining the worst about everything she does not disclose. He will likely pump her for more info, or resentment will accumulate within his ever-active imagination. (Resentment can kill the likeability that is so critical to compatibility.) [145]
423. Females learn the most and best lessons by insisting on retaining virginity, both real and virtual. Keepers don’t dump a woman over that. If he won’t honor her wishes before conquest, he’ll do worse afterward. [147]
424. He strives to get her to yield sex. She seeks his acceptance of something more important. The battle of the sexes revolves around the subsequent battle of wits and wills. It takes a lengthy, likeable, and complimentary courtship to convert him to her way of thinking. [147]
425. She’s of high interest to him. Her insistence on remaining virgin-like injects and stirs uneasiness and uncertainty into his manly desire. It pressures him into the passenger seat of their relationship. He tries harder to earn the driver’s seat by proving himself worthy and acceptable for sex. If he still can’t earn acceptance into the driver’s seat by conquering her, he either hops out of the car or accepts whatever greater ‘price’ she expects. [147]
426. If she doesn’t yield and he dumps her anywhere along the courtship trail, she escapes with a higher sense of self-worth. He was not a keeper, and she found it out without losing the battle of wills. [147]
427. Her refusals to yield earn a man’s maximum respect. Men respect will power and hers tops his best will and effort. [147]
428. If he dumps her for not yielding, she earns the maximum self-respect regardless of what he says to the contrary. It’s also good practice for her. [147]
429. Mr. Good Enough’s love will be based on respect for her. The greater her self-respect, the greater her ability to sustain his respect. [147]
430. Her gentle but firm refusals to yield indirectly tame his masculine ego and condition his dominant nature to accept her as a power to be reckoned with. It brightens her future, polishes her self-image, enhances her self-interest, and promises more worthiness as his potential mate. Thus, women move closer to their dreams and goals by protecting their real and virtual virginity. [147]

 

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935. Virgin? Keep It Secret! — Part I


Her Highness Anonymous inquired if an actual virgin should keep it a secret? Many reasons exist to do so, and the advantages accrue to her without cost to him:

  • If she brags about her virgin state, she appears desperate. If she discloses it as part of silly belief in full disclosure, he has nothing comparable, and so she loses at the ‘negotiating table’. Providing him the knowledge gives him much more than he can give her. (His sexual history never balances her disclosure, and she doesn’t want to hear it anyway.)
  • If ex-boyfriends don’t know for sure and can only speculate to other guys about her pristine-ness, her reputation builds more easily into exciting allure than ‘gotta have it’, gotta have it’, gotta have it’ just because she’s virginal.  
  • By strongly declaring her sexual status off limits, she has an easier time defending her values, maintaining her standards, and upholding her expectations about how men should behave when with or around her.
  • Mystery about her status generates an aura around her of respectable authority (free will, hard-headedness, and willingness to use it).
  • Sexual history being the kingpin element in feminine mystique, actual virginity wears the crown. But knowledge destroys mystery, which destroys curiosity, which destroys interest in the crown, which makes her less valuable.
  • Claiming virginity challenges a man even more to conquer her. Banging a virgin earns huge masculine bragging rights and status. Instead, she wants him bragging about her beauty, charm, and female worth.
  • If he tells his buds about her virgin state, they’ll gang up on him to beat his time, to get there firstest with the mostest. It might make her more popular as they pursue her virgin attractiveness, but it’s not likely to be sincere or lasting.
  • Many men, especially the adolescent-minded, think along these lines: If he can’t conquer a woman, it’s one thing. If he can’t conquer a virgin, it’s a different matter, ‘a downright embarrassment’. He has to keep trying; he can’t quit early. His competitive spirit envisions her as his Mt. Everest, and he’s a fool to quit before reaching the top.
  • If he knows she’s virgin, he spends less time thinking about her except for why? How could she have avoided it this long? Religious nut? Fearful of sex or what? Sick in the head? Wrongheaded? Malformed? Unfashionable, won’t go along to get along? Had no girlfriends that put out as role models? Boyfriends dumped her for that reason? Or did word spread about her that he missed?
  • Knowledge cures mystery, which kills curiosity, which reduces interest in what makes her tick, tock, and chime, which makes him think more of conquest than the rest of her valuable self.
  • She will be judged, if he knows she’s virgin; making him wonder delays his judging until a time made better by a longer relationship.
  • If he wonders about her sexual past, his thoughts remain with her. If she makes her virgin state as mysterious as the rest of her sexual history, he has little recourse but to focus and accept her as she is without regard to sex.
  • If he can only wonder before the altar and marvel about prospects for his wedding night, the male mind more easily adjusts his interests to include a woman’s hopes and dreams. Whether suspicions are confirmed or he’s surprised that night, his sense of significance and her value to him jump off the scale.
  • Avoid at all cost having a girlfriend ‘sell’ her virginity to win a boyfriend or prospect. Such good intentions backfire; he gains advantage and she loses mystery. (He’ll also return to the informant for more info when he’s after something else, and that could bring them together.)

Her greatest threat may be close to home. Make sure siblings or girlfriends don’t disclose her virgin status, and she’s better off if they don’t even know it. As with men, it’s none of their business, if she hopes to have maximum independence and play life’s hand of cards without—perhaps but not always well-intentioned—interference.

I venture that Part II, post 936, will both surprise and even shock some women. What to do when he won’t stop inquiring about her sexual history and especially virgin status. It’s due out tomorrow morning.

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359. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 16


Mothers ignore Einstein’s claim that “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Daughters suffer consequences, when mothers and daughters elevate popularity or anything else over virginity.

The male mind works like this regarding females:  Curiosity energizes his imagination. Knowledge about a particular thing stops curiosity, which stops his imagining about it.

Conquering a female goes step by step. For example, curious about boobs, imagine touching them. Feeling them up shifts his curiosity to exposing them. Seeing them makes curiosity shift to what’s next. But you know all that.

Imagination stirs hormones, knowledge calms them. Resurging curiosity keeps shifting a man’s imagination toward the next step for conquest.

  Male curiosity satisfied about any aspect of a girl becomes knowledge, which invites more curiosity and imagination about the next step toward sex, say boob exposure, which when satisfied invites more…. It doesn’t end until his conquest.

  As long as boys have to imagine about girls’ bodies, they stand in line to learn exactly what girls expect boys to do. This enables female dominance, which girls need to protect and promote their self-interest dealing with men.

  As long as boys have direct knowledge about a particular girl’s genitals, their imagination wanes, interest in her focuses only on the sexual, and male dominance explodes on a female countenance that will shortly reflect disappointment or worse.

When mothers and girls devalue virginity and virtual virginity, they empower boys to dominate girls. Once learned from the consequences, her lessons and his tricks imprint for life.

[Fifteen more posts about Sex and the fickle girl appear in the CONTENT page in the blog heading.]

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354. Dark Side of Feminism — Part 20


       In the Seventies a dozen or so radicals that Rush Limbaugh calls feminazis began attacking the male gender. They scorned men and demeaned male nature seeking to change patriarchy to matriarchy.

For three decades feminists fought to change political, legal, and economic values.  I bypass those changes to complain about the social and domestic damage to the lives of females, children, and families. Feminism adversely affected them all.

It worked like this: Feminism exemplified a macro-scale self-fulfilling prophecy. Women called men no darn good, and men became more so with each new generation.*

Women now find that men lack personal responsibility, social and domestic attributes, and loyalty to mate and family. Neither dates nor marriage work well. Men need to be changed and corrected sometimes. The womanly attitude of ingratitude spins them into finding fault in masculinity and ignoring the merit.

Relationships, for which females are the natural experts, sour and often disintegrate from an array of problems: incompatibility, separation, divorce, abandonment, deadbeat dads, unappreciative wives, cheating spouse, single motherhood, irresponsible fathers, husband theft, trophy wives, unfaithfulness, moral relativism, porn popularity, promiscuity, unmarried sex, casual sex, friends with benefits, school bus fellatio, prepubescent sluts, dateless college girls, booty calls, virginity devalued, virgins mocked. All can be traced back to the feminazis, and their radical values and revolutionary ideas.

Now, lack of respect prevails. Unconditional respect for the opposite gender dies, and conditional respect weakens to become more conditional with each generation. Weakened respect demagnetizes mutual respect, the foundation of a couple’s love and loyalty.

* I count a generation as six or seven years. Kids change their ways about that often. They copy the core values of the previous gen but find new ways to distinguish themselves. Hence, the feminist prophecy has reinforced itself through five or six gens.

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345. College girls: Dateless??? — Posts 216-230


What are dads paying for? One Duke University senior claimed she never had a date in college and knew no one that had.

Given all the sex on campus, this makes coed mean guys and booty? Does dad know what’s happening to his princess?

She can escape booty call, but she needs to abandon the guys’ game. It’s up to her and not him. The following themes or thoughts about previous articles may lead to new perspectives. (Search by the number and scroll down if not at top.)

 

216.   Never cherished? Blaming her ex?

 

216.   Never cherished? Blaming her ex?

 

 

217.   She appears desperate and disposable when everything’s easy for him.

218.   Female values shape campus social life except when they let men do it.

219.   Nagging herself produces unintended consequences.

220.   Feminine mystique slows the male mind for conquest.

221.   First date plants the seeds of no call, booty, or marriage.

222.   Commitment ain’t devotion.

223.   What guides our lives?

224.   Bonding for newlyweds.

225.   Mates differ, whether recognized or not.

226.   Just who are ‘friends with benefits’?

227.   What daughters should hear.

228.   More sex education

229.   Women copy men but fail, and ennui and depression set in.

230.   Virtue helps bonding.

Escape or dodge the booty label. See the CONTENT page in the blog header.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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328. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 15


Many mothers misread the tea leaves of their youth. They advise daughters poorly by promoting popularity over virginity. Mixed with low self-esteem and angst, it leads to unintended consequences in the teen sex marketplace.

♀ Seeking popularity, girls stoop to the absolute lowest rung on the social ladder. Manly disrespect and male dominance don’t get more absolute than with public fellatio, not even in the White House.

♀ Males claim fellatio as ‘not sex’. Females fall for it. Some girls ‘preserve their virginity’ that way. Technically, they’ve already lost it, because they lose more respect than single intercourse would cost them. They also victimize themselves beneath the indignity of adolescent masculine ridicule.  

  The latest generation talks about ‘rainbow jobs’. Younger generations need to outdo others; what one generation tolerates, the next practices.

  Treated disrespectfully except for more head reduces a girl’s self-respect, which poisons her self-image, and keeps her self-esteem pinned to the lowest possible. This erodes her self-confidence for everything except more sexual activity to confirm that popularity has its own rewards.

  Recovery is everything, and the non-sexual blessings of virtual virginity can restore her self-respect, -confidence, -image, and -esteem.

[Fourteen other posts about sex and the fickle girl and sixteen about virtual virginity are listed in the Content page at the top.]

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315. The good, the bad, and the ugly — MORE OF THE GOOD


♀ Think and act as if your man is valuable, and your gratefulness will make him better and you happier.

♀ Think and act dignified, and you’ll earn respect.

♀ Think and act feminine, and you’ll attract a husband.

♀ Think and act like a good Christian, and you’ll develop a servant’s heart and vice versa.

♀ Think and act like a lady, and you’ll be treated as one—although you may have to teach others how to do it.

♀ Think and act like a virgin, and you’ll lead men to make themselves worthy of you.

♀ Think and act morally exemplary, and you’ll influence others to duplicate your character.

♀ Think and act pretty, and you’ll make yourself prettier.

♀ Think and act unselfishly, and you’ll become a helpmate.

♀ Think and primp in front of a mirror every day, and you’ll become prettier.

This ends the good, the bad, and the ugly. More at posts 314, 313, and 312. Scroll down.

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