Tag Archives: will power

2036. Female Blessings at Birth — 52-54


This is the 18th group of three blessings that accompany women from birth and through the trials and tribulations of life. I’m grateful for your confirmations and the few doubts too; no disagreements thus far down the list.

52. Since a little girl I’ve known that I expect peace and harmony in my life but not how to produce it. Later in childhood my expectations grew into dreams of how to produce it by spreading my love to a mate and children. Adult maturity tells me—but I don’t always listen—that spreading my love requires dedication to specific things and diligence to make them standard or normal. For example, produce peace and harmony without demanding it, exemplify it without criticizing self or others, and blend the contradictions as if everybody is sometimes wrong but never bad. [Guy explains: Although you knew the root of it in early childhood, you didn’t realize the details until you gained relationship experience. IOW, your generating peace and harmony has been a natural endeavor from childhood onward. Think about it ladies. How early, much, and many times have you been confronted with the urge to find peace and harmony in whatever happens in your life? And what did you do but work toward it? Peace and harmony is a paramount female dream with roots in the womb, or so I believe. I italicized the how-to details that you may not yet realize are strong abilities also buried within the female nature and usable to facilitate peace and harmony. Let me know if you disagree those italicized abilities reside in your heart. If you agree, shouldn’t you grateful that you have such a blessing? Such a boodle bag of delicate skills to generate peace and harmony?]

53. I appreciate never having to prolong the agonies that self-forgiveness can relieve. The best gift from God or my will power comes when I forgive myself. [Guy adds: See how easy it is for toddler girls to forgive themselves? But guilt interferes later. Women don’t think they deserve to be forgiven for mistakes, shortcomings, or less-than-commendable attributes. They are so used to imposing, accepting, and living with guilt that they fail to consider reality, common sense, and their unique nature. God forgives everything, to ask penitently makes you deserving. So, how does a woman forgive herself? She confesses to herself penitently and her sincerity makes her deserving. Being in a relationship with herself in front of a mirror, she can’t fake sincerity there. While a bit of guilt may linger, it needn’t be incapacitating in the least if she sincerely forgives herself and believes that recovery is everything.]

54. I am so grateful that I get to choose my man my way. I will know him when I see him or very soon thereafter. [Guy says: In girlhood you dream so much about Mr. Right that every candidate appears fully qualified and you’re ever ready to sweep him off his feet. You set aside heart-felt caution as soon as you declare him Mr. Right. Your mind, however, says ‘heads up, you’re headed for trouble’. Your heart responds with ‘I don’t deserve him’ but I’m going to shoot the works, go all in. Your mind agrees and says ‘I can earn his love’. Oops, your emotional reasoning just hit a major snag; you turned yourself from buyer into seller. You try to make yourself worthy of him rather than the reverse. It may work for a year or so if romantic love captures you both but not permanently. When you act eager to capture him, you don’t earn his respect. Too eager and he learns to disrespect you. So, how do you sweep him off his feet after your eagerness and buyer’s spirit convince him—even before conquest—that you only qualify as possible booty? A stand-in for acceptance, a stand-by for sex means his feet stay anchored to the ground. It also means he quits looking for your qualities that he can admire as virtuous. Internal confusion causes your mistakes. Women misread their heart, which doesn’t tell them to sweep a guy off his feet. In fact, it’s the opposite. Instinctively, her heart says, ‘If he wants me he has to earn me’.]

Thank you for your confirmation, doubt, or disagreement. More blessings from the list will follow in a day or two.

 

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261. Newlywed Bonding #7 — Look, then leap


Here’s more to help guide newlyweds. These principles, beliefs, attitudes, and convictions can be tailored to fit or rejected by each couple to help fulfill their hopes and dreams. Advice is labeled as such.

♂$♀  Budgeting comes easily if a couple focuses on building a successful mixture of spousal interaction. Lots of imagination, small bits of will power, negotiable cooperation, and frequent confirmation of mutual trust can all be energized through the budgeting process.

♂$♀  Ignore what’s past. Assume decisions already made were sound at the time. Else, you would not have made them. Hindsight sees too many mistakes; those little buggers trigger spousal disputes. Why pay attention to what can haunt, irritate, and demotivate you or generate distrust for spouse or your budgeting process?

♂$♀   Pay yourself first: Save at least 10% off the top for long term savings for home purchase and retirement. Otherwise, late in life you will limp financially before physically. It’s best the other way around.  

♂$♀  At the start of the year, allocate for church giving and short-term savings to cover Christmas and vacation spending. Then, commit to not overspending on the last two items.

♂$♀  This is ADVICE: Determine the level, develop a plan, and purposely live a lifestyle at considerably less than 100 percent of income. Doing it is critical; the percentage goal is less so.

Evil incardnate comes in next post.

[More about newlyweds appears at posts 257, 254, 247, 242, 230 and 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]

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254. Newlywed Bonding #5 — Pain that heals


In our land of great wealth, many couples break up over financial troubles. Then, they do it again with someone else. Most just can’t learn what it takes to avoid financial instability and payday rape by creditors.

Some people avoid spending except when necessary. They rely on will power. They don’t succumb to impulses. They suppress whatever need they may have for immediate gratification. They build their lifestyle around necessities with few luxuries. Shopping has no allure. They value functionality over fashion, essentials over convenience, labor- and time-intensive over labor- and time-savers. The rest of us are different.

Here are some principles, beliefs, attitudes, convictions, and lessons that can help newlyweds step off on the right foot.

♂$♀  There will be never enough money until you have so much that ‘enough’ is never thought of.

♂$♀ Control of money will always be more important than amount available.

♂$♀  Control requires a decision process. We call it the pain that heals, or simply ‘budgeting’.

♂$♀  The budgeting process keeps a couple focused on improving their lives. With the force of self-imposed rules, it pushes them to do in the present, what they need for their future.

The list continues in forthcoming posts.

[More about newlyweds appears at posts 247, 242, 230 and 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]

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109. Women, where art thou?


Women can be anything they want, but they have two distinct strengths that work against them, unless they know how to focus those strengths for dealing with a man.

Women are born hard-headed. This means they possess all the logic and reasoning power needed to inject virtue in themselves and impose moral standards on their immediate environment. They have what it takes to impose the female will whenever appropriate and wherever needed.

But, sometimes they get soft-headed associating with members of the opposite sex. They give up their strength, and when it happens their man takes advantage. She can’t hold her own, so she loses.

Women are also born soft-hearted. This side of her nature strengthens her with empathy. It provides natural skills for encouraging, nurturing, and nursing mental wounds.

But, sometimes women get hard-hearted. They grow selfish, self-centered, and often vengeful to make others pay for offenses to their female ego. They grow short on empathy, nurturing, encouraging others, and nursing the hurts of others.

The women most successful dealing with a man assertively emphasize their hard-headedness before marriage. After marriage, when keeping their man is most important, they emphasize their soft-heartedness and push their hard-headedness into the background.

This works on a very simple natural principle: Her soft-heartedness does not challenge or compete with her man. Her hard-headedness does, and when she lets it loose, he resents, resists, and often retaliates.

 

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