Tag Archives: wives

2043. Submission #1 — The Introduction


The last of three series on this subject was completed in July 2010. It’s time for something new.

Let’s start at the top. We view life from outer space. God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize two different sexes. One is dominant but the other superior. Respectively, the immoveable object faces the irresistible force, male gender versus female gender. It’s the historical and highly traditional battle of the sexes.

Expecting women to submit flips the superior sex on its head. Not only that, it makes women mad just thinking about it, even when they hear it in church. Unfortunately, that causes some women to lose their female balance, to blame the men in their lives. Regardless of how pastors explain it, there’s plenty of hope always available in the feminine boodle bag of options.

Since the Holy Bible favors men on the subject, women don’t seem to have a full hand of cards to play. Ahhhhh! But they do. In fact, they hold the superior hand. They have patience, skill, hardheadedness, grateful heart, free will, and abundant opportunities to play. Men have stubbornness, self-respect, hardheartedness, ego, and competitive determination to defend only one position, she must submit. Advantage: wives. Abundant opportunities can smother one position though even well-defended.

The advantage comes from this. When push comes to shove, submission means only one thing to men. It’s their handicap. Not handicapped, women are blessed from birth for this particular battle. They are by nature cooperative and even submissive when in their best interest. Their nature thus provides advantage that enables them to outsmart, outwit, and out-maneuver dominant males. Consequently, submission isn’t a yes or no battle. Women make a game of ‘maybe’ out of it that convinces their man that he has won.

The feminine submissive spirit, often seen by men as unrespectable, is quite capable of conquering a man’s insistence that she submit as he and other men conceive it.

 

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1969. Anger and His Significance


At post 1968 Her Highness Cinnamon inquires if female anger undermines a man’s sense of significance. The natural principle first: Yes, if he has conquered her. No, if he has not.

Yes, because her anger challenges him. It puts them in instant competition. Men avoid competing with their woman and conquest confirms to the male nature that she is his. Conquest earns the natural male right to dominate, which means that expressions of anger at him—even though deserved—are inappropriate.

The male nature recognizes the superior competitive influence—“arguing power”—of females. It is worth the risk of losing arguments in order to conquer a woman, but after conquest it is not. So, competing with a conquered woman, the male nature tells men they will likely lose. That brings up their greatest fear, losing significance in their woman’s eyes, which means their ability is questionable for fulfilling manly missions of responsibility to her. Therefore, competing with their woman is too risky and should be at least avoided and preferably prevented.

The following bullets can be answered in the same way. Yes, if he has already conquered her. It opens the floodgate to competition and likelihood of reducing his sense of significance. No, if they have never had sex together. Competition protects her and he may lose sleep but not significance over a woman defending her ‘un-owned’ self.

  • Refusing sex?
  • Extreme silence, pulling away, refusing to communicate?
  • Continuing to argue after he declares a final decision?
  • Refusing to do as he says after he has demonstrated that he expects his dominant role to prevail?
  • Blaming him? However, add this caveat. If he senses he is wrong, he is still pressured by the male nature to defend himself and prove her wrong. In which case, she is the mother of fault-finding, he is the father of rationalized self-defense, and the competition continues. (For a man to admit wrongdoing to a conquered woman comes from lessons learned in life long after his birth.)

In short, whatever DIRECTLY challenges a husband’s authority and decision-making dominance tampers with his sense of significance. In his mind, he gave up his independence for the responsibility of ruling the relationship. Outside of marriage and without conquest, however, directness serves women better because men are amenable to letting women have their way.

Moreover, lessons learned living inside different cultural value systems make men more or less willing to compete with wives and conquered females, e.g., more within our Judeo-Christian value system and less within non-Western societies.

Women can learn to get more of what they want by trial and error. Before conquest, they compete diligently with men to prevent conquest except under female terms. After conquest, they compete drastically if necessary to preserve their dignity within female standards and expectations. After marriage they cooperate and avoid direct competition with their husband. Competition calls for directness. Cooperation calls for indirectness. Wise women know how to exploit the differences that arise in life.

 

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1946. Indirectness: A Wife’s Most Effective Strategy


Even within compatible couples, the masculine preference for directness easily causes confrontation and even more so when women use it. The feminine talent and skill for cooperation makes women the relationship experts and gives birth to their preference for using indirectness. Without it, the man’s game of competition overpowers the woman’s game of cooperation and male dominance reigns at the expense of female dignity.

Women are born with immense talent and skill to use indirectness as a successful technique for dealing with men. It calls for tactics, expectations, and calculated responses centered on someone else in ways that encourage their cooperation.

Indirectness prioritizes patience over impatience, niceness over spitefulness, subtle over obvious, deferred over immediate gratification, calm and smooth talk over harsh chatter, and simpering rather than her spouting orders. It also calls for no insistence on getting her way at this time, delaying arguments until no longer needed, accepting loss of arguments to fight another day and way, finding gratitude rather than fault, smiling when frowns are expected, not complaining about her problems but asking directly for help and pleasantly depending on whatever ‘rescue’ he provides.

Women love easily. It causes grateful wives to predominately live according to their natural soft-heartedness. They routinely rely on it rather than their natural hard-headed ability. Indirectness capitalizes on that tendency. It enables wives to brighten their futures by enabling their husbands to dominate the present. Thus, the relationship expert generates the compatibility that lasts forever.

Translating all that into directness, she empowers herself to rule the rooster while enabling him to rule the roost, which offends a man until years later when he learns the truth and worth of it, which is why the hopes, dreams, and rewards a wife longs for come so much later in marriage.

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808. Gender Differences Revisited — Group R


  1. Couples shack up to test for sexual compatibility. Women deceive themselves. Men applaud themselves.
  2. Men presume commitment but women don’t. Women need assurance and daily confirmation, if confirmed only by themselves.
  3. Women expect men to be romantic, but romance slows a man’s conquering spirit. Men are as romantic as a woman requires before accepting foreplay or intercourse.
  4. Both wives and husbands resent facing previous sex partners of their spouse. Wife loathes the other woman. Husband holds animosity for his wife.
  5. Women crave frequent little things and remembrances to remind that their man is thinking of them. Men don’t.
  6. Men depart a relationship with hope for a less involved one the next time. Women depart a relationship with conviction she can do better the next time.
  7. Women easily expand their thinking from ‘me’ to ‘you and me’ and then to ‘us’ and even to ‘you come before me’. (It brightens her future.) Men are slow to grow that way and also backslide easily. (His interest lies with the present.)
  8. Women easily love a man, but men love their work—or whatever they have to do to prove themselves to themselves.
  9. To women, and mother knows best, a person’s character is more important than what that person does. Men lean toward the opposite.

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737. Gender Differences Revisited — Group L


  1. Men know romance as whatever is required to initiate foreplay or sex. Women know romance as the attention he pays her when sex is not at stake.
  2. Men demand physical faithfulness in their mate. Women expect both physical and emotional fidelity but especially the last.
  3. Husbands that enshrine themselves at home stay at home. Wives that enshrine themselves at home grow bored with husband.
  4. Men fight best and work hardest for what they believe in. Women fight best and work hardest for who they believe in.
  5. Men see friendship differently. Women don’t fit a man’s mold of pure friendship, except when they are far removed from being a sex target.
  6. Women get upset and cry to release. Men don’t get upset by their own admission. They get frustrated, angry, and shift into battle mode without tears.
  7. Men resist change to their person and role, especially by a woman they have conquered. Women are much less sensitive and more flexible.
  8. Men shape their lives around thinking, substance, actions, and accomplishments. Women shape their lives around feelings, family, appearance, and relationships.

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680. Respect Revisited — III


Respect, disrespect, and lack of respect determine outcomes. Her choices make much bigger differences than do his. His nature tells him that women can’t compete on significant strengths. Therefore, they’re not equal on others. It’s subliminal, but it determines why women have to earn a man’s respect. When he admires her strengths, she’s winning his respect and time reinforces it.   

♦       If a man initiates pursuit for sex, she earns respect with responses that leave him so unfulfilled that he persists in ‘decoding’ who and what she really is as a person. Her strengths that deter him. Being difficult to figure out earns masculine respect, and this makes mystery and female modesty work so generously for her.

♦       Once a woman commits to a man, he fully expects her unequivocal and undying respect. Her commitment means he’s done all the earning he has to do.

♦       Sometimes, unfortunately, a man fakes whatever earns her respect. She commits, and then his real Self shows up. He’s not due the same respect as before, but he still expects what she previously showed. Battles or worse arise.

♦       Wives refuse sex to their husband, not once or twice, but as frequent practice. They claim personal reasons or seek to manipulate him, but her intentions don’t guarantee outcomes. Her refusals equate to lack of respect for him, which equates to loss of self-respect, which energizes husband to look elsewhere to restore it.

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625. Random Thoughts — Group 2


♦       Love is never enough. Too many little negatives interfere, and too few positives support it.

♦       Modern men have many malpractices for dealing with women and living with one. But men are trainable, when women set their mind to it.

♦       When women want a man more than their dignity and self-respect, they invariably choose poorly.

♦       A woman’s self-love determines her capacity for reliably loving a man. Bitchiness and critical attitude signal a shortage.

♦       Challenge for Wives: When telling him about what happened to you today, try telling it such that he responds with the rarest words a wife ever hears from husband, “Tell me more.”

♦       I wonder what would happen if a woman dressed up for work above and beyond whatever is standard and expected at her place of employment—for example: more feminine, less casual, neater sense of professionalism, etc. Actually I know what would happen. First, other women would dislike them for it. Second, the men would show more attention, respect, and appreciation. Third, other women would gradually follow suit to keep up with leader of the pack. Fourth, it would become a better place to work.     

♦       I credit someone else for this, but I love it: Mother and child is basic Nature. Joining them with a man is basic civilization. I could add: Marriage arranges and the family unit stabilizes civilization.

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