Tag Archives: women

1970. Compatibility Axioms #371-380


NOTE: I can’t say it often enough. I have no objections to the legal, political, and economic progress made by women. Advancements were deserved long before they were won. I address Feminism only as the public fallout impacts social and domestic life among men and women.

371. The feminist challenge to millennia-old patriarchy is the fundamental cause of incompatibility. It separates the sexes, because it uses outside help in the form of public pressure to help prove women right and men wrong. Thus, Feminism leads women away from their natural strengths and relationship expertise. Misdirected, women give up their instinctive art of screening men until they become worthy of capture. Instead of dreaming of upgrading their Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right during decades of living together, they try to ‘convert’ him immediately before or after marriage. [134]
372. Feminist-think calls for human nature to work backwards. Nowadays, women cooperate with each other for advice about men and unify support against them. They compete with their man for dominance. The first tends to prevent and the latter tends to melt compatibility. [134]
373. When women think and act like men, it transmutes into loss of the female genius that every couple needs to build longevity together. Romantic love fades faster. Sexual love becomes her manipulative tool. Enduring love doesn’t become mutual. Marital vows shrink in importance. One or both spouses become itchy to make a better go of it with someone else. [134]
374. The human competitive spirit and modern social pressures push women to act more like men—♫ I can do anything he can do better. ♫ Women imagine success and frustration arises at the lack of it. Frustration pushes them to escalate until they become the irresistible force trying to move the immovable object. Thus, womanly frustration generates greater manly stubbornness. [134]
375. A man’s love is founded on respect. And men respect women that persistently uphold values and standards that uplift women relative to men but not at the expense of men. It includes values and standards that men don’t initiate but value people who do. Femininity builds such respect, and Feminism discourages it. [135]
376. One woman says this. “Men need femininity. They call it ‘color in a black and white world.’ It heals their wounds, soothes their spirits and recharges their batteries. It is one of the things men look for in their wives; someone who makes them more powerful by feeding them with their femininity.” [‘Claudia’ as quoted in Keys to the Kingdom by Alison A. Armstrong, PAX Programs, Inc., p. 151] [135]
377. Femininity reflects intense femaleness with politics removed. It includes female traits that women rely on naturally to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Qualities such as feminine mystique, female modesty, religious morality, faithful monogamy, female-defined manners, female-friendly social standards, compassionate values, holy matrimony, and an eager-to-reveal emphasis against offense to a woman’s sensibilities. Femininity generates personal power dealing with men, because it enables women to reduce the hormone storms of male dominance—sometimes into submission or at least toleration. [135]
378. When the female gender institutionalizes the feminine qualities just cited, men learn to respect females more than males. Their unconditional respect for women provides the foundation for the conditional respect for one woman who eventually transmutes into the enduring love that sustains compatibility for life. A man’s enduring love of one woman isn’t all that strong, if he lacks respect for her gender. Old-school mothers made it work. Our forefathers built American greatness out of wifely inspirations, expectations, encouragements, and gratefulness shrouded in femininity. [135]
379. Our foremothers knew male dominance has to be outsmarted and outmaneuvered and not squelched obviously. They generated and sustained compatibility very differently than modern women. First, they competed with other women for a man with sex out of the picture. Sex was the bonus after he qualified as worthy to be her husband and father of her children. Second, they cooperated with their husband and revealed their respect and gratefulness by pleasing him. [135]
380.Further, our foremothers exploited their femaleness to clarify two very different and cooperative roles as a couple—separate responsibilities for each. His domain was outside the home, hers inside. He was chairman, she was CEO. With clearly separated roles, they balanced relationship power without outside influence. [135]

 

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1965. Compatibility Axioms #351-360


NOTE: I report only on social and domestic relations and not legal, political, or economic arrangements wrought by Feminism.
351. Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics-first over men. Its inherent virtue equalizes female unhappiness for those living with a man.
352. Feminist doctrine: Don’t listen to what men have to say about the female sex. They’re jealous, biased, and besides that they are the enemy. [127]
353. Feminists blame character flaws for men that cheat. Women who cheat, however, are not flawed; they are justified by the inequities of patriarchy.
354. Without non-prostitute women to provide sex to married men, lack of opportunity pressures husbands to remain physically faithful whether they like it or not. [127]
355. Feminists insist on equal sharing of housekeeping and childcare responsibilities. Equality to feminists means they get their way. The process of seeking it, however, weakens mutual devotion. Being impossible to mutually achieve, the drive for equality both causes and sustains friction in a relationship. [127]
356. Feminists listen only to women about both men and Feminism. They ignore its impact on the male nature and blame men for not acting as women say they should, would, or could. [127]
357. Feminists convince females to abandon old school maturity-before-sex in favor of new school sex-before-maturity. Men get what they want most. Women gain sexual freedom, but they lose much of their natural ability to hold onto a mate. [127]
358. Feminism teaches women to rationalize a superior role for females, celebrate their independence from men, and compete against their man. It justifies a self-centered competitive rather than an us-centered cooperative spirit. Filling such a role belittles a man’s sense of significance, the loss of which is his greatest fear and especially with his mate. [127]
359. Feminists actively honor sexual freedom. Men relish the proliferation of uncommitted sex, but the Marrying Man seeks something very different. [127]
360. Feminists claim female independence as a woman’s right. Men let them have it and feel relieved at the consequent watering down of family responsibility. [127]

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1961. Compatibility Axioms #331-340


331. Women have to negotiate, trade off, and even ‘train’ men and their man to help pursue female interests. For example, she can rule the rooster, if she empowers him to rule the roost. [126]
332. Women for decades have proclaimed publicly that men are only after sex. For personal and political reasons, females rationalize that they deserve and can enjoy without penalty the benefits of the male nature. Those assumptions mislead women. They adopt masculine traits and habits and expect men to copy feminine traits, but the process breeds incompatibility. Men don’t change their nature. They fake what they have to in order to achieve frequent and convenient access to sex. [126]
333. When women don’t take advantage of their female nature, men respond unfavorably. When women don’t appreciate their femaleness to the fullest, men don’t either. For example, when women act like guys, men treat them like guys. If men marry guy-women, they don’t stay married very long. It’s very feminine females that make men take advantage of their male nature and shift responsibly into domestic compatibility. [126]
334. It happens after one-night stands or several dates. Women hook up only to wonder why his promised call never comes! The best odds for getting a call, for getting him to come back, is this: Refuse to hook up in the first place. [130]
335. Her mindset largely governs the ringing of her phone. It starts with the presence or absence of an attitude of gratitude about herself and her potential value for a man. If she doesn’t value herself highly, men won’t either.  [130]
336. If she’s ungrateful for herself and sees sex as her potential, she should expect booty calls. If she’s grateful for herself and sees denying sex as the tool for expanding her potential, she can expect calls to explore her other interests. [130]
337. Sex does not bond a man. It captures him until conquest and maybe a few more times. So, even when he does call after hook up, she may be viewed as potential duty slut. [130]
338. A woman holds a man by making him grateful for her in ways other than sex. This takes time and the delay of his conquest. [130]
339. To men after conquest, sex just happens, their relationship just is, and taking her for granted comes easily. Those are natural conqueror’s rights initiated by her yielding. So, her strategy and tactics before his conquest govern her life with each man. [130]
340. She may not know how or want to use it, but she holds the dominant position with a man until she yields. Use it or lose it. Lose it and she can’t use it. [130]

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1951. Favored Quotes—Collection 40


“As for me, my primary motivation for transforming my outer appearance was to NEVER LET MYSELF BE ECLIPSED BY ANOTHER WOMAN in my boyfriend’s mind. Of course, if I stand next to a movie star, I might not be as outstanding, but I am confident that my continuous efforts at perfecting my skills will make me a dignified lady next to her. I just never want my boyfriend to ever think that some other woman is so gorgeous BECAUSE of my sloppiness.” [SBaby at 806]

“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annonymous Anne at 1409]

“Men are powerful, and women are magical. [Breatheeatlive at 1904]

“And yet I know it’s not OK, and that it is not right that women should be pressured into a kind of “lease with option to buy” arrangement with their boyfriends in order to have a chance at marriage and family.” [Lisette at 1945]

 “I have to ‘play the game or stay on the bench’. The game being modesty and the bench being singledom.” [Brown_eyes at 1924]

“It’s the 10th day of my having adopted this philosophy and I’m still amazed by how my mood/confidence really rises and falls upon the degree of satisfaction and pride in my own appearance. I used to be guilty of taking shortcuts – I wasn’t a slob exactly – more of a 5/10 most days because I never thought of linking self-respect with personal prettiness, certainly not in the terms you’ve set out. I only bothered to dress up when I first started new jobs but inevitably, once the novelty and perceived need dwindled, so did my standards. Now it’s different – I can really appreciate the effect it has on my mood. When I’m very satisfied with my appearance, I genuinely am unaffected by what people think, whether it’s prompted by flattery, curiosity or envy. Compliments, when they come, are lovely but I don’t feel the need to seek them because I’m secure that I’ve met or exceeded my own standards for prettiness. One of my male colleagues told me I looked charming today. That’s the first time anyone (male or female) has said that about me and given the working culture I’m in, it was very nice icing on the cake! Thank you for making me realise that taking the time to make myself attractive isn’t trying to create what doesn’t exist, or mask faults, but rather to compliment, complement and highlight what I’ve been endowed with, and for which I am learning to be grateful!” [PeachBlossoms at 1146]

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1945. Men Marry Virtue But What Is That?


A man marries for the promise he sees in a woman, which arises out his liking or loving her unique, persistent, and steadfast virtues. Women show off their best qualities hoping to find masculine confirmation. But the sexes both define and value female qualities differently. So what are virtues?

A man sees a virtue when he admires some quality in a woman. If he doesn’t admire a particular characteristic, it may be good but it’s not virtuous. It holds little or no promise when he’s thinking about a life together. As a result, the male nature impacts women this way; earning his admiration is more important than what women usually rely on to find, capture, marry, and hold a man.

A man admires her less obvious qualities. Surprise, surprise! Neither her sexual assets nor claims and demonstrations of female love are virtuous, however convincing or even sexual they may be. Appreciated, yes, but not virtuous. Both sexual assets and love are common and available from all females. And anyway, a man knows that many women should easily love him and his sexual performance; how can they not with all of his qualities, potential, and promise?

An exception exists. Rejecting a man for sex is virtuous.* His admiration arises when he’s exposed to a woman who claims moral values and sticks to her standards. Virtue appears as he comes to admire these qualities: her resistance as self-respect, rejection as self-dedication, chasteness as success, hope in men as faith in herself, and endless patience as the means of finding a man worthy of her. Admiring her determination and allegiance to brighten her own future, his perception of her promise as potential mate not only grows; it appeals to his nature and challenges him to try harder to win her.**

Consequently, a man doesn’t marry a woman because she loves him; it’s not even necessary as when a man falls in love at first sight. A man marries for the promise a woman holds for brightening the life he expects to live. Also, another surprise for women, virtuous excludes the promises women like to make to improve their chances.

Men judge on actions more than words. They especially admire these female influences in action. Her physical attractiveness taunts him, personality charms him, tenderness calms him, humor delights him, flexibility amazes him, modesty bewilders him, steadfastness strengthens him, patience beguiles him, happiness infects him, smiles please him,  inabilities challenge him, goodness outshines him, generosity shames him, joy lifts him, stifled complaints reassure him, respect exalts him, soft-heartedness impresses him, hard-headedness surprises him, cooking benefits him, housekeeping supports him, gratitude confirms him, dependency energizes him, manners settle him, mystique intrigues him, monogamy inspires him, and devotion disguises his failings. It’s not her qualities that generate her promise but his judgment that certain ones are admirable. It’s not her love or sexual assets that earn his respect; it’s his admiration of her qualities that  he allows to influence him.

After they marry, unfortunately, she too easily perceives that he takes her for granted. As she fulfills the promise he expects, he finds satisfaction in her virtuous behavior. After the honeymoon, his devotion shifts into another form. It’s time to live the life that he expects, and so he displays his devotion by producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving in return for her fulfilling the promise she brought into his endless but rewarding life of work. Being taken for granted, however, means her virtues continue to be highly valued and promise a good life for them together. If not, his dissatisfaction would be obvious, his devotion would be fading, and their mutual disappointment would be increasing.

When she displays herself in such ways and steadfastness that men admire her qualities, her promise as marital candidate grows in some man’s heart. Their natures work in harmony; she attracts men by earning their admiration and one eventually responds with supreme interest. If she continues her virtuous ways after marriage, he sees little or no reason to look for promise elsewhere. Why go through that again? Perfection is worthy of pursuit in many things but not in finding and keeping a mate.

Mutual admiration works much better to make marriage permanent. The mind and heart can’t disrespect what they admire, and a man’s love is based on respect. Hence, the more virtuous she appears to him, the more she’s respected and loved. It all starts with her virtues as perceived by her man.

——

*Explanations are provided in the Virtual Virginity series listed in CONTENTS.

** Nonsexual courting ultimately makes him a better man in her eyes. In the same process, his actions convert his heart from interest to devotion, which develops him into being more worthy of her. They both learn to rise above themselves to favor the other, which ultimately puts ‘us’ above her and her above him.

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1944. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 87


  • A husband’s sexual fulfillment comes from learning through the actions and attitude of his wife that he’s a great lover. Not greater, not greatest, and not anything else comparative. It’s just him and his ability repeatedly to honor her wishes and pleasures even over and above his own. According to her, he never weakens much less fails. On the other hand, failures in bed—regardless of fault—damage a man’s psyche and reduce admiration for her qualities, which makes her less virtuous and weakens her promise of being a great wife, which alters his devotion and questions his dedication to sexual faithfulness.
  • Men think in terms of doing things and not in terms of how they feel. For instance, they don’t chase happiness like women do. They let it come to them and even then they don’t think much about it. They buy big toys for accomplishment and pleasure and not happiness although a little of it may follow. They still have too much to do even if it’s just to relax at beach, book, or beer. For instance, they don’t think much about their gratitude for something or somebody. They appreciate but they don’t dwell there. Gifting as expression of gratitude doesn’t carry much weight. It discloses their feelings too much for their own comfort. Thus, by not frequently expressing their gratefulness for somebody or something, their heart isn’t steered toward happiness per se, which means they just are not drawn toward it as women are.
  • Work is the essence of a man’s significance. Men who are unable or unwilling to work lack significance in their own eyes; they end up of little or no benefit for their women too. ‘Work’ means wanting to accomplish worthwhile objectives and is best developed by fulfilling various responsibilities as a boy until achievement and productiveness become habitual. Boys not taught to work end up troublesome for both parents and later spouses. They become addicted to self-entertainment, such as video games, drugs, porn, gangs, and similar excursions into self-centered and troubled lives.

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1921. Compatibility Axioms #151-160


151. Relationships without sex have an unrecognized benefit for girls and women, men learn to be romantic.
The most effective teachers withhold sex in order to hold manly attention long enough to change masculine habits toward more romance.[91]

152. Masculine-style sexual freedom for women nullifies the male’s conquering spirit and weakens womanly influence over male dominance and aggression. [91]

153. In addition to more freely yielding unmarried sex, feminist thinking prompts women to make more fundamental mistakes dealing with men. [92]

154. Girls and women lose out with ignorant rationalizations: Get pregnant to capture or hold a man. A married man is better than nothing. We’re great in bed, so he must love me. If we don’t shack up, I’ll lose him. [92]

155. When a woman initiates sex, it’s his luck more than her that stimulates his self-admiration. Men value a woman more highly when she confirms his self-admiration and makes him feel significant. Luck just confirms his hunting hopes and so he tries elsewhere. [93]

156. The male’s hunting nature makes easily captured sex targets also easy to release. Difficult-to-track-and-capture sex targets become manly trophies. [93]

157. Women ignore old school female virtue in favor of new school ‘anything goes’. Consequently, even the Marrying Man loses interest in marriage and focuses on easy-to-escape relationships. [93]

158. The excitement of a new boyfriend distorts a female’s thinking. She looks at today and forgets all the tomorrows. The future is the female’s arena and the present is the man’s. [93]

159. This poor strategy causes women to lose boyfriends. She thinks sex will capture a man, her romancing will convince him that she’s the one for him, and her love will hold him. [93]

160. Males live with and respect females for it: Playing hard to get thwarts a man’s conquering agenda and tames his masculine spirit, especially if she’s a mate-target rather than just a target for sex.[96]

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1916. Compatibility Axioms #111-120


111.By their nature, women favor equality as primary for decision making. Men favor fairness. Resolve it early or arguments compound and bitterness can’t be far behind.

112. Any promise of his castle dies, when she takes charge after marriage and keeps squeezing him to fit better into her ideals of their home and model of life within it. [54]

113. Submissiveness is a cooperative spirit. Regardless of its name and who possesses it when and where, such a spirit is essential for marriage to work. [56]

114. Phonies lose in the end. During courtship she hides her true character in order to get a man to marry her. Afterward, she reverts to her true self and to him becomes a different woman—one he did not intend to marry. [54]

115. It quickens his departure, when she rejects him as family hero and elevates the kids over him. [54]

116. It subverts a marriage, when she treats his opinions as less important and judgments as less valuable than those of someone else. [54]

117. Each marriage faces three monumental events: the 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, and 20-year switch. Prevention starts years earlier. Avoidance is difficult. Recovery makes the steep slope slicker, but it all toughens mates. [65]

118. Nothing is foolproof, but the virtual virginity strategy works best to remarry an ex. If he’s going to be any different than in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more.  [70]

119. Feminism makes women think more like men, especially ‘me before you’ and ‘me before us’. Such women lose much of their natural expertise for holding a man.[71]

120. A man expects to succeed as himself in all of his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects. [72]

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