- Sex and responsibility help men achieve their goals. Devotion to others and life tending toward the spiritual help women achieve theirs.
- With regard to unmarried sexual activity, women are whatever they decide to be. Men are whatever they have to be to have access.
- Two conquerors compete and struggle. He seeks sex, and she seeks marriage. The first to conquer shapes their future relationship together.
- Unlike men, women tend to change whatever and whomever they find as inadequate—oftentimes parenting husbands as boys.
- Unlike women, men draw a line between what is their business and what is not, between what they should change, and what they should leave to others.
- When a man wants comfort and understanding, he turns to any woman. When a woman wants those things, she turns to a specific man.
- Men look for taste bud satisfaction when eating. Women use food to help satisfy the necessities for life.
- When women sour on their marriage, they turn against men. When men sour on their marriage, they turn against marriage.
Finally, may your blessings in the new year be so great they obscure the defeats and bad times of the year ending today.
Ladies, let’s make our lives sweeter. We can’t change men, we can only change ourselves. Words charm women, but smiles charm men. Let’s enable them to earn more smiles.
· Appear dependent more often and see what happens. They will likely do as you wish.
· Invent new ways and give them more opportunities to defer to your presence, need, and personal importance, such as opening doors, table seating, etc.
· Pause for them to act first. When you wait, it strikes the male nature that you’re dependent, and men like to rescue women.
· Recognize all ‘rescue’ events with a wordless big smile; it’s more personal, mysterious, and far more appreciated by men than a dutiful “Thank you.” A smile shows trust and therefore respect; words don’t.
· Heads up, wives: Start slowly and gently. Don’t surprise him, and don’t stand there patting your foot. You may have to make a few suggestions first. Give him your most precious smile each ‘rescue’ event. He won’t like being told what to do, but he can be induced to live up to his wife’s expectations when she uses feminine charm.
I refer again to Einstein: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Throughout the conquest phase and even beyond, manly imagination more than knowledge about a female’s body improves her chances for whatever she’s after. (Knowledge should be translated as access visually or physically or both.)
Women dress to please themselves in hopes they will be attractive to men. Many lean too far toward the attractive and away from the pleasing. That is, they dress to please men instead of themselves.
The more emphatic this shift becomes in a female’s thinking, then the more skin that she exposes or erotic body parts that she spotlights. This results in two major disadvantages for her:
(1) The male’s objective is to disrobe her, and she thus helps with his primary mission of conquest. (She may want sex, but this also makes his thoughts about a relationship even more temporary. Men don’t keep pushovers very long, because they’re potentially easy for another man.)
(2) Exposed skin and spotlighted erotic body parts provide knowledge, which makes manly imagination shift toward the next step of disrobing. (Knowledge kills imagination at each step in the disrobing process. The closer to naked she gets, the more his imagination shifts directly to sex and away from what he just accessed and whatever else she has to offer.)
Such women play the male game, but are they rewarded well with masculine devotion and commitment? Some, maybe, but not nearly all.
Improving her odds comes with the conclusion tomorrow.
- Intimacy is vitally important to her and less so to men. But which is more important: depth or breadth, quality or quantity, intensity or frequency? Lengthy courtship enables her to find out about herself and ‘train’ him to match her expectations.
- Home should be his castle, but not unless she generates the harmony. For example, except when in use, she requires the commode LID to be down. Last user is responsible. (Can’t tell you why it works this way, but he’ll more easily accept her homey home-keeping standard for closed commode than her expectation that he always lower the seat. He’ll do for his castle, what he won’t do for her. You say shameful or selfish, I say Nature.)
- Sex bonds women, but mutual respect bonds people and genders.
- Self-esteem means how well you like yourself as a person. Self-love describes it better for females provided it also includes especially liking their selves as female.
- Women have to put up with many unwelcome hits to draw a few routine compliments from men. Improving their appearance with feminine mystery and modesty improves the ratio in favor of compliments.
♦ I have read articles where it mentions how incredible it is that men are coming in touch with their feminine sides. Seriously? I would date my girlfriend if I wanted that! (Angela at 548)
♦ Men and women both have game rules but they are different yet created to have a complimentary effect. (Miss Dawn at 400)
♦ Does the sperm chase the egg? No. Sperm compete to get to the egg, and conditions inside the female reproductive system don’t make it easy for those sperm to get to that elusive egg! (Easybreezy at 389)
♦ As I begin to start the next chapter of my life (prayerfully medical school) I will seek to take more control of my choices and treat myself how I want the opposite sex to treat me. . .special. (Jessica at 649)
♦ Women used to be put on a pedestal, loved, honored, cherished, and protected. They were strong, loving, sweet, gentle, caring and stood by their man no matter what. Feminism has destroyed the natural essence of women. (Angela at 643)
About choices: Women don’t use their sexual assets very well. Why? God empowers them to do so, each woman has free will to choose, but do wives know husbands well enough?
About wives: The female nature continually seeks a brighter future. This usually requires that one man help a woman fulfill her hopes and dreams. Men don’t eagerly devote and continue doing such things without compensation for husbanding and fathering. It calls for both incentives and rewards, but women have trouble with the difference. Wives often think sex provides compensation enough, but female thinking easily subverts it.
About husbands: Being competitive producers, providers, protectors, and problem solvers by nature, men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. They appreciate the results of effort and achievement and new challenges.
- Without being shown respect and appreciation by one woman, men act out their resentments in pursuit of their own interests. They don’t care that much about female opinions, interests, hopes, or dreams unless one woman above all others keeps herself interesting and worthwhile.
- Rewards satisfy, but incentives challenge. Rewards imply yesterday, but incentives imply today. Being present oriented, men favor challenges far above thank yous.
About differences: Men are more strongly motivated with many incentives and a few intermittent rewards than with plenty of rewards. Women are the opposite; they value rewards over incentives. Consequently, wives play the incentive and reward cards wrongly, if at all, and it weakens compensation for husband.
About marriage: A couple’s minds, both conscious and subconscious, are divided about sex.
- Wife thinks of providing sex as rewarding him, and for which he is expected to show gratitude. When he doesn’t, she’s unhappy. She can’t be grateful either, because her ‘reward model’ doesn’t work. Making this simple but poor choice haunts her into making other mistakes.
- Husband thinks of frequent and convenient sex as his reward for having married. He’s long since shown his gratitude for it, which means he’s not likely to show much now.
- Incentivize is a better model for her. Her presence, attractiveness, and willingness make her a daily invitation for sex aka incentive aka challenge. He’s satisfied, because he’s grateful that she reliably confirms marital commitment as he understood it. He can cherish the challenge that she continually presents to his presence.
- His reward for giving up his independence is long past and virtually forgotten. To the male mind, married sex means marital duty, which makes gratitude okay but not essential. Hence, whatever gratefulness for sex he shows will likely never be enough for wife.
- Her presence is an invitation for sex, and her willingness confirms the original reward of marriage.
Husbands and wives sense their sexual sides quite differently. He sees a land of plenty, and she sees a gratitude famine. When wife compensates mate for husbanding and fathering, let her think of incentives rather than rewards, present rather than past, and inviting rather than careless appearance. His male-limited supply of gratitude normally crystallizes around her availability and cooperative willingness for sex rather than sex per se.
Caution: Don’t take the above as more than a description of how their respective minds work and interact. I neither condemn nor advise. Readers can do that.