108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3


NOTE: Thanks to Suzanne for triggering this post. She put a big smile on my face, and I love it when pretty women do that. Guy

Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust; fold into passion and love; and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope.

The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps Love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make men successful at husbanding and fathering.

For successful living with a man, women as the relationship expert need to overcome the innumerable devils in the details. For example:

  • Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly.
  • Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together.
  • Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, women indirectly govern the home unless she sided with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly.
  • It’s her nest to build into a castle. But then, he expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionism, functionality over her style and fashion, and at least the appearance if not the actuality of him as boss. 
  • Men respond to women eventually, but not immediately, directly, or openly. They need time and latitude to make his meeting her expectations look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage.
  • Men treat women as females teach them, mostly earlier in life. Mothers sometimes fail, girls stupidly don’t condition boys to respect females, and single women provide sex before they earn a man’s respect by not providing it. Hence, some men mistreat women.

People don’t mistreat those they respect. That’s why a long courtship helps qualify a man as having had a good upbringing and as having developed potential for treating her well.

6 Comments

Filed under courtship, Uncategorized

6 responses to “108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3

  1. Miss Dawn

    “Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly. ”

    I would never give a man an order, but by the same token if one is too indirect it becomes manipulation…… *sigh*

  2. Kaikou

    Sir Guy the Chaste Courtship series part 4 through 7 are not coming up. Were they deleted or do I need password access. I am very interested in courtship as of late. Would love to read more! 🙂

    Your Highness Kaikou,
    Try again. Search by the number rather than hot link from CONTENTS. They’re still posted.
    Guy

    • Kaikou

      I realize now that a lot of the early post have been deleted. 🙂

      Your Highness Kaikou,
      Not so. Search by post number and pass up those that appear above the one you want.
      Guy

  3. How does a woman “indirectly influence her man” Could you provide some candid examples? I love reading your blog, I’m a single lady preparing for a godly marriage with her king and want to get all the information and knowledge I need to make it work. I’ve learnt so many priniciples including staying pretty, being feminine, virtual virginity and playing hard to get. Thanks for all you do

    Your Highness Duchessinwaiting,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You want to influence your man, to have your way? First, start by making everything seem in perfect order. Everyday to max achievable, you smile as much as possible, which convinces him that he is okay. You don’t complain, which convinces him that you are okay too. His duty and job performance must be satisfactory. Now, he’s ready to pay attention to whatever you bring up.

    Second, never dictate what he should do. Never demand that you need or want something. Never tell him HOW to do anything, unless he asks for you help. Learn to hint, suggest, and plant seeds about what you want or want to happen in advance of whatever the event.

    What he figures out is easier to believe than what he is told. So, if he believes what you hint is the proper thing to do — please you or achieve something — he is far more inclined to do that particular thing than if you tell or even ask that he do it or to go along with your desires. You are an influential but perhaps unrecognized member of the superior gender, if and when he pleases you because it pleases him.

    Third, of all that does not mean that you’re not entitled to his attention and help. You’re naturally entitled to get your way, just as he is. However, the more indirectly you achieve it, the more productive and influential you will become.

    I don’t like to provide specific examples as you request. I prefer principles from which you figure out the best ways to gain advantage for you and yours.

    It’s summarized best by the old saying, he rules the roost but she rules the rooster.

    Guy

  4. Southern Belle

    Sir guy,

    I don’t fully understand what this looks like without being direct “Women must … condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations”.
    I understand how men will do things and act interested in things she is interested in, etc. But I’m unsure how to communicate standards, expectations without directly stating them.
    Could you share with me what this looks like from a man’s view how a woman “conditions” a man in a feminine way.

    Your Highness Southern Belle,

    Men communicate through actions more than words. They believe what they figure out more than what they hear.

    She acts out her standards and expectations. He wants to do something against her wishes/standards, she firmly says NO! He gets fresh, she slaps him. (I know it’s socially obsolete, but she should do it anyway if she hopes for him to get her message.)

    She “‘conditions’ a man in a feminine way” by dressing and acting more feminine than feminist.

    Guy

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