110. Matrimony or acrimony?


How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life, in key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing, a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

 

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