Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do. Newlywed bonding comes from blending individual self-interests into mutual-interest.
She wants help when she needs it in a world she can’t control to her satisfaction. She chose him as help-mate. It’s up to her to make their partnership work. The less she depends on him, the more he moves toward his wants.
He wants independence. He traded some—but not nearly all—for the promise of greater significance with her. He expects her to respect his significant self and appreciate his good husbanding and fathering.
Tradeoffs lead to cooperation. Compared to him, she’s the relationship expert. This enables her to make it all work.