563. Mirror time

We act according to how we are dressed and groomed. We respond to others by how they are dressed and groomed. Subtle distinctions generate more or less respect, and respect heads the non-emotional list of how we respond to someone else. 

When females spend time, effort, and money on clothes and grooming and much time before mirrors, they tend to act more feminine. When they take shortcuts, they appear and act less feminine.

When females think, act, and dress as men do, they adopt masculine ways. This means less time and effort spent at the mirror, grooming, and clothes selection. More convenience certainly, but this tendency has led women to use the color black to their disadvantage.   

Customarily, black clothing is serious, formal, and authoritative. It means much more than appearance and sends loud signals. Let’s add some light to two extremes: formal events here versus casual, on-the-job, and leisure at the next article. 

Black attire suppresses the uniqueness of females. Symbolically, it removes sex from the scene. Witness funerals, graduations, and other formal occasions when culture, custom, and social programming suppress and discourage sexually-connected thoughts. All-black helps focus everyone on theme.

Black or dark ladies suits provide an aura of authority that favors a female’s acceptance with men on the job. Lightly colored suits appear more feminine and lose some impressiveness.  (Of course feminists complain that attire shouldn’t matter, but females do better when they accept rather than try to change male nature structured so strongly around authority—having, building, and using it.)

Next: Black for casual, on-the-job, and leisure time.


Filed under feminine

9 responses to “563. Mirror time

  1. Allison

    Wearing head to toe black isn’t as easy and comfortable as many make it out to be. Black, and other dark colors, absorb heat. If you live in the deep South like I do, black isn’t your friend, especially in the dead of summer! If someone is wearing all that black to hide extra pounds, you will be even more uncomfortable. Extra pounds = extra body heat. Add all black clothing and that person will pratically be on fire! Lose weight and you will naturally feel cooler.

    Light colored clothing reflects heat, making the wearer feel cooler.

    • I agree with Allison. I wrote many years ago something that our grandmothers and great grandmothers practiced: white in summer and dark colors for winter. This was practical, but today, to even suggest such a thing results in accusations of snobbery. In summer, Grandma would always buy a pair of white shoes and a white purse and hat. In winter, a dark color.

  2. easybreezy

    Guy are you saying that women in the workplace should wear black/dark suits/colors to be taken more seriously? It makes sense. When I wear a dark suit/pants/skirt for a meeting or whatever- to be taken seriously- I always try to wear a brighter color underneath as a top just peeking through, and some colorful necklace or something- to distinguish myself as a woman (my mother does this and she is a successful business woman, in fact, she is the style setter for all the women in the office).

    I look at how the women in top positions dress. Always very professional, but always colorful too- with scarves, jewelry, and other accents to distinguish themselves.

    Princess Easybreezy,
    I’m just trying to describe the effects that certain female black attire has on men in specific situations. Tomorrow, it will be causal, on-the-job, and leisure.
    PS. You answered your first question yourself. Also, thank your mom for having taught you so well.

  3. Elizabeth

    I think this one is a bit of a toughy, particularly for Christian women. I’ve seen too many online, and completely unbecoming, scraps on what constitutes proper dress for a woman to add my two pennies worth. But I will say this, a woman’s dress needs to be appropriate for the circumstances she finds herself in. So if she is a business woman then the traditional black or navy suit is entirely appropriate.

    Sir Guy, are you just telling us gals that we should try to look pretty when we can? If so, then I wholeheartedly agree with you!

    Your Prettiness Elizabeth,

    Yes to looking pretty. It give females advantages that I’m afraid they have sacrificed to enjoy comfort, appreciate convenience, and avoid doing anything that shows respect for the male gender. (They predominantly dress up for one guy. If even that, once they capture him.)

    But the purpose of the article and the one tomorrow is to point out the disadvantages that accrue when females don’t know or ignore the impact female apparel has on men.


  4. Laura

    I’m remembering a bygone era when black meant something else: mourning. Yet women in mourning still chose feminine fabrics, lines (Long flowing skirts are feminine. Period.) and certain subtle embellishments – tucks, ruffles, etc. – that left no doubt of the femininity of the wearer.

    I mean, really – wasn’t Scarlett O’Hara Hamilton Kennedy beautiful even in deep mourning?

    On the other hand, today’s styles tend to be mannish, polyester blend suit jackets, trousers, and straight skirts. Short skirts are unfeminine, too.

    Modern short, convenient hairstyles are less than feminine, too often.

    • Laura

      I should have said, “Wasn’t Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara Hamilton Kennedy beautiful….?”

  5. Grace

    Brilliant article Mr.Guy! My mother always stressed to me the importance of mirror time. She didn’t call it that, but she frequently told me that grooming was everything and that looking a mess only makes problems worse. I remember her stopping to put on a little lipstick and comb her hair before she went to the hospital to give birth to my younger brother. And she looks fabulous in the hospital pictures. When the grunge look was in when I was in high school she always sighed and said, sweetie a little lipstick and a pair of earrings would serve you well. And she was right.

    In my marriage I stand firm on my mirror time. For me mirror time includes my daily hour at the gym, my weekly manicure and pedicure and my monthly facial as well making sure that I dress and groom well daily. Once when my husband told me to hurry up, I went to his closet, pulled on a pair of his pants and a shirt, pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail and told him that I was ready to go and had even beat him getting dressed. I looked a mess, obviously and he got the point. No more complaining that it takes me longer to get dressed than it takes him. I’m a woman and he’ll have to wait.

    I believe that maintaining my appearance has the added benefit of reminding my husband that not only is he lucky to have gotten me, I am attractive enough to replace him easily should he fail to please me. I respond to stubborn behavior on his part by dressing slightly more seductively (inspired more by young Sophia Loren than my usual Audrey Hepburn) and letting him watch other men’s eyes follow me. This usually makes him more likely to give me what I want. Being pretty and feeling pretty solves so many problems and gives so many advantages with men. I’m shocked by how many women think it is beneath them use this tool when they’ve got it.

    And now with so many women failing to use their pretty advantage even average and unattractive women can reap pretty girl benefits.

  6. Lex

    I’ve read the “mirror time” series over and over, and I can’t seem to understand how to apply it in the practical sense.

    I anyways spend 20 minutes daily in front of the mirror doing my hair and makeup but it is something I’ve always done and don’t find that it improves my feeling of self importance other than for maybe a few fleeting moments.

    In other words…I suppose I’m trying to understand how to do the “self talk” in the practical sense- what to say to increase my self-importance and get in the right frame of mind for the day.

    Your Highness Lex,

    I suggest you try this. Study The Path to Victory at top of Home page. Then, broaden your thinking while looking at yourself. Cite to yourself ways in which you are grateful for who you are and grateful for things and others in your life. Using gratitude to guide you, begin to address problems for which you seek resolution.

    Think on this. It’s not your problems that govern your life, it’s your self-gratitude that you can exploit to at least smooth over the problems. IOW, you don’t need perfection or even good. You just need to satisfy yourself that you can or are handling your problems in such a way that your future appears brighter. Any progress that makes you feel more in charge of your life is success.


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