598. Hits on the Job — Groundwork

This is second of a three-parter that describes how female employees can handle unwanted sexual advances and thereby shape workplace standards for men. Check out 597 before proceeding, because background shown there includes her mission statement and strategy. Post 599 tomorrow provides the remaining half of the list shown here.

Don’t take what follows as gospel. Take it as examples of defining her persona with a team. She draws lines up to which everyone else must step. To do so, she takes firm stands and announce them clearly. This makes men turn on their polite and respectful side for work instead of impolitely suggesting something else. She should deal assertively with many kinds of offenses until they stop:

·        She receives a suggestive compliment on her appearance. Smile, and say “That’s none of your business during business hours.” Dismissed with business terminology strengthens her stand. She draws a professional line in the sand.

·        She receives an unwanted sexual advance. She first takes control: Use shock if he’s good looking, less if he’s not, but firm friendliness if he’s creepy.  Smile swiftly, then drop the smile, scornfully say “That’s once” and return to her work or walk away undisturbed. She draws a sexual line in the sand.

·        She receives a sexual advance from a man to whom she’s attracted. Firmly say, “Stop that on the job” and walk away or return to work. If she responds invitingly or nicely to keep from offending him, other men expect the same. When they don’t receive it, she loses respect, regard, and maybe affection as co-worker. She crowned the ‘offender’ as exceptional, other men lost out, and she loses control of shaping the work environment to her expectations. It weakens her personal, sexual, and professional lines in the sand.

Continued in post 599 tomorrow.


Filed under How she wins

2 responses to “598. Hits on the Job — Groundwork

  1. Jill F.

    I think a lot of christian women think that it is “unchristian” to tell a guy off if he is making unwanted advances….I know I have struggled with the issue of being rude. It was eye-opening to me to realize that a christian woman can be blunt to the point of rudeness and still be godly…christian women in times past had no problem recognizing when men crossed the line but feminism has caused a lot of confusion. “Nice” girls are firm, strong and (sometimes) very blunt girls.

  2. Princess Rita

    I certainly have been particularly blunt when a married man has acted inappropriately on the job and I had no remorse about it. I have little tolerance for that sort of thing.

    Years ago, two men (at different times) that I didn’t work with and I didn’t know well, tracked me down at my workplace and it frightened me. I didn’t handle it as quickly as I should have, out of “politeness” then had to get really tough later to get my point across. Next time I would be more firm when it first happens.

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