I dedicate this post to Her Highness AwaitingMrGoodEnough. She sought definition of feminine mystique and asked how to get and keep it.
She asked for specifics, but they vary female to female and beholder to beholder. Even a beholder can’t fully describe a female’s mystique, and he’s unsure of how she gets it.
Were FM explainable, it would be neither unique nor mystique. It’s an aura of high self-respect, a spirit that overpowers her flaws and makes men respect her right off. (The adolescent expression of FM we called conceit in my high school days.)
Mystery arises when she does female things that males can’t understand on the surface. If she doesn’t explain, the mystery remains, because FM depends on masculine imagination.
Few things strike a man’s imagination better than a female making herself prettier for no other reason than to make herself prettier, as if she’s somehow detached from and above the male world. She’s not detached, but he doesn’t perceive it. He wouldn’t do that, so why would she?
He also wonders: ‘Why would she go to such trouble apparently just to please herself? If she does that for herself, I wonder what she’d do for me?’ And her mystery deepens.
To improve on FM, the male nature should be kept in mind:
· A man wants what he can’t have, especially first sex with her. Her refusals—as opposed to rejection of him—generate respect for her and mystery as to why not. Her mystery deepens if she doesn’t defend her decisions, but relies on simple generalities such as “I’m saving myself” or “It’s wrong.” (Generalities don’t kill hope that she’ll yield later, but details can and they also remove mystery.)
· What she doesn’t explain, he wants to know. The slower she releases whatever he seeks in personal information, the more attached he becomes trying to find out.
· The more she keeps her inner thoughts and feelings from him, the more respect she earns for thwarting his efforts. Provided, that is, she does it inoffensively and with strong feminine charm.
· She loses mystery when she explains what or how she’s motivated to live and associate with others. (Another reason full disclosure is overrated.)
· As one lady claims: Femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world.
· Men are notorious for taking a woman for granted. It means he knows all he needs to know, her mystery has faded.
Whether purposeful or accidental, her appearance, feminine modesty, feminine charm, and air of personal mystery contribute and work for her. Hiding her sexual attractiveness and potential compounds her mystery.
All of the foregoing should blend well with her personality and persona and trigger imagination in all men to have the biggest impact on one man. When most women exploit FM, men yield more easily to female values and male dominance becomes female-friendly.