Her Highness Abigail prompted this article, when at post #751 she wondered that “…marriage seems like a raw deal for women.”
Of course it can be, but women are the relationship experts, so some blame attaches to them. They intuitively know how to manage and maintain a successful relationship. But that doesn’t mean they rely on their nature. She often ignores her man’s faults in courtship and then blames him as husband.
Also, for example, the wife can generate her own raw deal if she:
- Forgets that marriage predominantly serves mother and her children, but it has to be ‘bought and paid for’ by her as wife.
- Promotes equality over fairness in the home, e.g., dividing or expecting chore workload to be equal instead of settling for fairness to generate harmony. (Her relationship expertise endows her for success in knowing and settling differences, if she but drops any semblance of equality.)
- Determines the values to guide living in her home and negotiates requirements and expectations during courtship, e.g., church-going, raising kids, integrity, temporary separations, faithfulness, etc.
- Expects husband to be more like her or some other guy.
- Becomes something different than the gal the husband courted and married, or she expects him to become something different.
Raw deals are made and not born. Both he and she have coarse sandpaper to rub against sensitive emotions. But she’s better equipped than he to soothe the biggest irritations by feathering and nursing the edges into harmony.
P.S. Gold-diggers may have a better idea, as Abigail suggested, but they start with different objectives and values and end up with results different from what most women desire.