771. Gender Differences Revisited — Group O


  1. To a woman in her home, décor and fashion supersede functionality. According to men, functionality should reign.
  2. To men sex is an end. To women sex is a means.
  3. Females want to see justice served through equality, when equality is more theory than achievable. Males want to see justice served through fairness, which is both practical and achievable.
  4. The male nature promotes winning as the only thing—fairness in action. The female nature promotes how one plays the game as more important than winning—equality in action.
  5. Men value what they see when they see it more than what they remember about what they saw. Women are opposite.
  6. Although both sexes are emotional decision-makers, men tend to weigh facts and truth with greater reality. Women tend to more easily blend reality with their emotions.
  7. Women more easily endorse political correctness than men. (In the name of compensating for past injustices, it makes things more equal. According to my favorite intellectual giant, Dennis Prager, truth and political correctness are mutually exclusive.)
  8. Boys either mature mentally before puberty or remain adolescent as men. Girls either mature mentally after puberty by denying sex to boys, or they remain adolescent as women.

18 Comments

Filed under sex differences

18 responses to “771. Gender Differences Revisited — Group O

  1. Lady Carmen

    Sir Guy et al,
    There is an excellent post from American Conservative Daily entitled Demonic Nothingness: Liberalism’s Eternal ‘Equality’ of hell – exposing the spiritual motive behind p.c. push for equality. As always with much gratitude for your thought provoking and inspiring WWNH content. God Bless you and all your readers.

  2. Laurie

    Although both sexes are emotional decision-makers, men tend to weigh facts and truth with greater reality. Women tend to more easily blend reality with their emotions.

    Guy, this is the kind of thing I am talking about when I say that you don’t respect women.

    You argue that men only respect women who don’t sleep with them before marriage. What you are really saying is that men only approve of women who don’t sleep with them before marriage.

    See, if a woman wins a man’s approval in this way, she may not actually have his respect because he may still assume that she is inherently less equipped to make rational decisions than he is. So by playing the “nice girl” all I have gained is that some guy might like me a little better, even while he is still thinking I am kind of dumb, i.e. less capable of rationality than he is.

    My questions for the women readers here is this: Do you really think you are less rational than the men in your life? If so, doesn’t that bother you? Are you taking any steps to remedy your irrationality? What about your daughters? Do you tolerate irrational thinking in them because they are just girls, or do you seek through education to give them stronger intellectual tools to deal with the world?

    Your Highness Laurie,

    I argue no such things. You read me incorrectly and, I suspect, focus only on support for your convictions.

    As to your claim that I don’t respect women. Study this blog enough and you’ll uncover many principles that show you how to more accurately read people. For example: A man’s actions demonstrate his devotion more reliably than his words, and respect comes before devotion. My actions include a new article every day for over two years and #772 is due out today. Do you see any devotion in more than 200,000 words aimed at helping one gender?

    Guy

    • ladylike

      I think women are more in tune with their emotions, and this causes them to make decisions not only with their minds but with their hearts as well. A woman’s ability to tune into the world of emotions is much better than a man’s. This is a necessity in tuning into infants and young children who cannot communicate well with language… yet women can understand them through simply reading their body language and noticing the expressions on their faces. I’ve seen fathers who get extremely upset when trying to deal with a crying baby, because this is not their strength. A man could look at his wife soothing the crying baby and feel resentful, but he doesn’t. I actually believe being too rational can be a hindrance because you rely only on your mind, rather seeing the whole picture which contains things that a rational mind often won’t pick up – which include emotions and spirituality.

  3. ladylike

    This is from The Lili* Files. Here’s a link to the Files: http://franfig.110mb.com/TRindex.html

    And an extract I think Guy will appreciate :-)

    “Regarding marriage, men, and women.
    It isn’t about *squelching* our real selves. It isn’t creating a fake self for our husband, or having to *act* perfectly and only happy all the time to draw a man to attach to attach to us and to stay attached.

    It is about having a mature, reciprocal relationship, understanding that men’s deepest, most vital masculine needs, are as real and as important as women’s, and that successful marriages are built on *reciprocity*: successful marriages aren’t the ones that built solely on *women’s* romantic vision of how a good marriage should be.

    They are built on men stretching themselves out of their comfort zone to *meet a woman’s needs*, for connection, tenderness, emotional intimacy, talk, romance, more focus on emotions, more focus on The Relationship, and women stretching themselves *to meet a man’s needs* for distance, quiet, approval, space, less relationship talks, less focus on emotions, less focus on The Relationship, quiet contentement (which men read as deep, deep appreciation of him).

    Women of our grandmothers’ generation understood the creatures that men were and loved them up and appreciated them with grace, for all the great things men were and didn’t expect them to be anything else, and didn’t point out to them what they were not good at. They understood men’s stregnths and limitations, and respected them for it. They were happy to talk to other women (mothers, sisters, aunts, nieghbor ladies, best girlfreinds) about “women talk”, and let their men just LOVE them, and do for them what men are good at.

    You have to love men for what they are, and not treat them like they are another one of our girlfriends. They are not. They have different needs. Your husband is Your Man. He is not a girlfriend. It is a totally different kind of relationship.

    When you are more self contained around your man, you are not squelching your real self. You are loving him, by meeting his deepest masculine energy needs for love expressed the way men like it expressed.

    The more you meet a man’s deepest masculine needs, the more he will want to meet yours and to please you. He will often build his entire life around pleasing you, and putting a smile on your face, because he lives for that smile, that to him is love.

    The more you meet a man’s needs, the more he will attach strongly to you. (Just as the more a man meets your deepest feminine needs, you will attach strongly to him).

    When a man sees that a woman is happy, and complaint free, he feels that he is being VERY successful at marriage. When he feels he is successful at marriage, his deepest masculine needs (to please a woman and to succeed at it) are met. Then he wants to give and give to her. And give and give and give to her, and he attaches VERY strongly to her, and falls more deeply in love with her.

    Look at Old people’s marriages. Marriages of people in their 70s, 80s, 90s. The women know how to meet the men’s needs, and the men, in turn, meet the women’s needs.

    When a woman constantly wants to talk about this problem or that problem, or this negative feeling or that negative feeling, or this disappointment or that disapointment, (of either him, The Relationship, or of countless things outside of it) a man feels like a failure.

  4. ladylike

    And another post from The Lili* Files:

    A woman should never reject the part of her that is “needy”, or be ashamed of it. It is precisely this that makes her a woman. A woman is different from a man. She needs love to be woven into sex. She needs, security and connection. She is more vulnerable through sex than he is. It is her tender side, her vulnerability – her differentness from him – that attracts him. Her tender side, expressed without shame, or embarrassment attracts him to her. He craves her difference from him.
    Her vulnerability and softer side, that requires love and protection, expressed with a soft confidence, and without demand, anger, or, shame, moves him, and causes him to elevate her and be attracted to her.

    There is no need for her to be ashamed of her difference from men, or to be ashamed to make it known. Men do not want her masculinity, they want her femininity.

    It is OK to be needy. It is all in how you express it. If you express it by calling, and crying, and asking “do you love me?”, you are expressing your belief that you are not lovable. This cause him to question your sanity.

    If you express your neediness (need for connection, continuity of love) by softly rejecting what he offers that does not meet your need (for instance, strings free sex) he instinctively understands and he does not question your sanity. Nor is he repelled. He finds you interesting.

    A woman can express her “neediness”, by softly rejecting what a man offers, that does not fulfill her. He will think she is great, when she does this.

  5. “Although both sexes are emotional decision-makers, men tend to weigh facts and truth with greater reality. Women tend to more easily blend reality with their emotions.” [original quote]

    My questions for the women readers here is this: Do you really think you are less rational than the men in your life?

    My husband and I think differently; I don’t think that makes me less rational. Yes, I do think that women are more emotional, and view things through an emotional lens — this does not mean “irrational,” just different. Often women’s different way of viewing things is a gift, a blessing, and a better way of seeing things — I’m often able to give my husband a different perspective on a matter, by being a little less “black and white” and seeing a different point of view, a more emotional (but equally rational) response.

    One example is that some years ago, he got an email that made him angry, because he read the sender’s words in one “tone of voice,” and he took it in a negative way. I read the same email, but in a calm, conversational, easy manner, and it elicited a completely different response, although it was the same words. He wasn’t being either more rational or logical than I was — we were both being rational and logical; but we had different responses, due to our different viewpoints.

    And there is a physical, biological reason for a difference in thinking — when males are developing in utero, their brain structure alters due to the effect of testosterone — many links are broken within the brain, and specifically between the two halves of the brain. If you’ve ever heard that “men have a one-track mind,” that’s true. Men tend to focus on a single task, and have more difficulty in multi-tasking, and assembling information from a variety of sources all at once. Women are better at that. You know the phrase, “female intuition”? The distinctly feminine hard-wiring of the brain is responsible for that — women are more able to notice certain things at certain levels that men can’t — and often, women don’t even know what they know — they can’t consciously come up with a reason for why they feel/think the way they do (which frequently drives men crazy, because they demand a good, solid, “rational” reason behind a decision, and many times women can’t give it, other than, “I just think/feel/believe it’s wrong”), but they are unconsciously picking up on little subtle facts, and forming an opinion (many times correct).

    Financial counselor and author Dave Ramsey tells a story of buying a house he was planning on fixing up and selling for a nice profit, and when he showed it to his wife, she balked. She didn’t have a “logical” reason for not wanting him to purchase it, she just didn’t “feel right” about it. He ignored her “irrational” feelings, and purchased the house against her objections. Eventually, he found out that the house had some serious problems (leaking foundation? mold? structural damage?), that made the house extremely expensive to fix up. Instead of making a profit, he lost money (either by selling the broken house at a loss, or by fixing it up at a higher cost than he could recoup) by ignoring her intuition.

    I agree with Guy’s view of things, but disagree with your negative spin.

    Your Delightfulness Kathy,

    The train jumped the track. I had no intention of saying that one sex was more rational than the other. I meant to convey their inputs and mental processes were different rather than their conclusions and outputs. The action words are ‘weigh’ and ‘blend’. I regret the lack of clarity, which I value above most everything else.

    You provide good details about sex differences in action. Thanks. Hopefully, some readers will respond and expand the theme.

    Guy

  6. Denise

    Guy, I have a question about #5. I’m not sure exactly the inferences you wanted readers to draw from it. Would you be able to expound a bit? It actually relates to a question I wanted to ask regarding long distance relationships. Given the emphasis that you’ve placed on men needing to see their woman as attractive,in the present, and in comparison to the other women around them, does this make long distance relationships somewhat unrealistic?

    I just remember a man indicating that he didn’t think that long distance would work because of the lack of physical presence, and my interpreting that as simple lack of interest. I may have been correct, but perhaps it also reflects more fundamental gender differences?

    Your Highness Denise,

    Welcome aboard. Great questions appropriately aimed.

    You’re right when you say this: “I may have been correct [about lack of interest], but perhaps it also reflects more fundamental gender differences?”

    It could have been both. In a long distance relationship, natural difference puts less pressure on him than her to remain faithful to whatever obligations they develop before separation. His integrity and devotion help and can close this gender gap.

    It’s another reason women should focus more on a man’s character than good looks, devotion more than commitment, and more on getting him devoted to her than devoting herself to him.

    Guy

    • My husband and I had a long-distance relationship (he lived in Chicago, I lived in Mississippi). We started as acquaintances/ friends for several years, meeting each other once or twice a year; and after several years it blossomed into romance. During our courtship, we saw each other a total of 9 times (he came to my area for a visit, I stayed with his brother & SIL, or his mother, etc.) over the course of that year. We talked on the phone a **lot** (and, actually, still talk more on the phone than we do in person!), and emailed frequently. LD relationships may not be ideal or perfect, and may even be the exception to prove the rule; but they are not impossible. :-) In a lot of ways, they’re better, because when there is no possibility of a sexual encounter, then there is less likelihood of getting tempted and sidetracked; and you focus on the person, and the personality, rather than on the looks or sexuality. [Not to say I wasn't attracted to him! Quite the contrary!! But there was less temptation, not to mention less opportunity, than would have existed had we gone out every weekend or seen each other every day.]

  7. Laurie

    Do you see any devotion in more than 200,000 words aimed at helping one gender?

    I am sorry, Guy, but I BELIEVE YOU have written more than 200,000 words to try to take women down a notch or two.

    I am not sure why, but I suspect you are profoundly uncomfortable with the authority and freedom so many women enjoy today.

    Your Highness Laurie,

    To simplify and clarify the discussion, I added the words in caps above per your other comment now deleted.

    Our belief systems are at odds, so I’ll let other readers referee.

    Guy

    P.S. Your comments register as spam in WordPress, so stay on track or I may not moderate them for viewing by others.
    G.

  8. Princess Rita

    Hi Laurie-

    Do you really think you are less rational than the men in your life? At times. I tend to get too emotional about things at times and it can cloud my thinking a bit.

    If so, doesn’t that bother you? Yes, because I’m a Christian, I want to really trust that God will help me and that ultimately everything will be okay.

    Are you taking any steps to remedy your irrationality? Yes, I’m trying to pray more, trust God more, learn from past mistakes and take a breather (time to think) before making major decisions.

    What about your daughters? Do you tolerate irrational thinking in them because they are just girls, or do you seek through education to give them stronger intellectual tools to deal with the world?

  9. Princess Rita

    Oops, forgot about your last question. I see that they are very emotional women like their mom. I don’t try to change this but if they are acting out, I try to guide them in to better behavior (the steps I mentioned above). Dr. Dobson wrote a book a few years ago called “Emotions, Can we Trust Them?”. The title of the book alone has been a guide to me over the years, reminding me, that feelings are just feelings…they are not reality and they aren’t always to be trusted.

    Laurie, please keep an open mind about this site and what Guy is talking about. Yes, something rises up in me sometimes when he describes certain attributes of men. Something in me says “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” but life is never going to be fair no matter how much I insist on it. In fact, my insistence can make my life worse. I’m divorced, in my 40s and I know this from experience. My mother on the other hand managed to love and respect my father, in spite of his imperfections and had a very loving marriage with him for almost 50 years(until he passed away). Her generation didn’t feel the need to confront their husbands all the time about every little thing. They worked hard and showed their love by their actions and it worked! Did it work perfectly? No-nothing in this lifetime will be perfect, but it worked.

    Hope I’m not too far off track! R

  10. Lady Carmen

    Sir Guy,
    It saddens and pains me to hear you being accused of the antithesis of your most gallant efforts to enlighten, inform and rescue women from the hideous plaque of feminist theology. Jesus, warned his followers that we would be treated as he was when exposing the truth to a world that loves lies and lives in delusion. May the Holy Ghost lead truth seekers to WWNH and give you the continued strength to combat a world gone completely mad with political correctness. WWNH is an oasis to retreat to and heal from the insanity bombarding us from all directions. May your critics go to web sites that are pleasing to their itching ears and leave us alone. God Bless us everyone.

    Your Spriteliness Lady Carmen,
    Thank you. I love it when pretty women say such things.
    Guy

  11. Sara

    If one were truly happy in their supposed freedom, wouldn’t one come across as such, instead of bitter? And why would one spend so much time on a site that ones dislike so immensely, except if deep down one realizes the truths of those words, and finds ones own life is at odds? It makes a person uncomfortable to find themselves unhappy in their supposed freedom, doesn’t it?
    It seems to me that Laurie is seeking for something more, and I hope she finds that something more –sooner better than later.

  12. anonymous

    I’ve read many posts speaking of commitment and devotion. I’m not sure I completely understand the difference. Could you explain please?

    Your Preciousness Anonymous,
    With gratefulness to her, I report that Her Highness Denise answered your question by citing post #222.
    Guy

  13. Stealth "Dawn" Femme

    Whats always missing from these discussions is the notion of value.

    If we all learn to value the feminine as much as the masculine then we would not be so mad- everytime we read posts like the one above…

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