At post 849 Her Highness Sunny asks “how do men generally feel about women who would rather talk about subjects society says are masculine? Is it bad, from the male perspective, for a woman to be more interested in the physics of a bullet’s trajectory than in whatever brand of purses?”
Not bad, no, but perhaps unproductive. It all depends on these competing situations—before conquest versus afterward, small talk versus discussion, her intentions versus her expectations, and screening men versus choosing a husband.
Before conquest: The subject talked about has little to do with a man’s response. Expect that a man will buy into anything an unconquered woman wants to talk about, as long as he senses he’s making progress. If he cuts her off, he likely seeks a more direct route to the pad.
After conquest: He’s very different. Men are not curious about personal relationships in small talk or discussions and especially not female monologues. But they do find interest in the masculine side of how things work. Bullets are great, potentially, but purses are not.
Small talk: Her intelligence is never bad from the male perspective. However, she automatically competes with him when she knows more about so-called masculine subjects than he does. Men don’t compete with women very long. So, when small talk discloses that she’s master more than he of a subject, men tend to change the subject, drop out, or fade away.
Discussion: If a guy has equal or greater knowledge and interest in her favorite subjects, he’ll listen enjoyably, discuss, and critique. He’ll talk all day to bring her up to speed about what he knows of the subject. She opened the door to competing with him, and he’ll respond by trying to dominate. (WADWMUFGAO: We all do whatever makes us feel good about ourselves, and it’s never truer than when males deal with females.) If he sees he can’t ‘win’, he’ll likely change the subject or depart.
When she knows more than he does about a subject, men are reminded that they as the immovable object can’t resist her as the irresistible force. So, when competition opens and the man can’t win, he’ll find a way out to save face.
Her intentions: If she’s trying to impress men or a man to favor her, indirectness works best. Broaching so-called masculine subjects can be done slowly by dropping curious hints and tidbits almost inadvertently. Let his interest pull it out of her; it then appears to him that he’s won, which makes him appreciate her subject matter.
If she’s interested more in spreading her reputation as learned person, dropping tidbits about deeper subject matter helps. But she can’t really rely on guys that have not conquered her to spread her reputation about esoteric subjects; they might, however, declaim her as not worth chasing for sex. (Such as, “Yea, she’s smart, but she takes the fun out of everything.”)
Her expectations: More important than the subject matter, her ability to hold a man’s interest with style and manner of delivery is critical. The more she makes it enjoyable than thoughtful, the better for her. Then, on his side, it all depends on whether he likes himself with her talking about what she wants to talk about. If she lacks sensitivity to detect when he’s no longer interested in what she happens to be saying at the time, she’ll not be able to keep him listening as much as she’d like.
Screening men: Generally, she has two options: She searches for Mr. Good Enough by screening out those whose interest she can’t hold to her satisfaction. And she learns to be sensitive and shut up when guys she likes become less interested in what she has to talk about. Both options make up her screening process.
Choosing husband: She either yields to premarital conquest to see how he reacts, changes, and appreciates discussing her favorite subjects. Or, she withholds sex long enough for him to appreciate what she has to say and how enjoyably first and thoughtfully second that she says it. In the process he learns to feel good about himself listening or discussing her favorite subjects.
Sexless courtship has a way of making men become more agreeable about a woman’s preferences, standards, and expectations. This option should maximize acceptance of discussing her favorite subjects, because it maximizes respect for her as potential wife.
HOT STUFF: The best rule for women to remember is this: Men don’t want, like, or long tolerate competing with a female. If her style, manner, or dialogue hits him as coming even close to a put down for him or his gender, he will rebel, resist, and retreat if necessary to escape. Although women may like to indulge in so-called masculine subjects, history shows that they’re not too welcome doing so with men. So, she needs to weigh the risks versus her mental tastes and druthers. She can certainly succeed, but she’s handicapped more than sex objects for example.
In the end, men don’t seek high intelligence in a woman. So, women do best when they indirectly use whatever intelligence they have to outsmart men and their man.