981. Virgin Bridegroom—Part II

Seal the Deal. The bride dreams of sealing mutual devotion on her wedding night and honeymoon that follows. She anticipates Acts I, II, and III aka Foreplay, Intercourse, and Intimacy. However, the wedding night especially haunts the virgin bridegroom. He’s loaded with potential to disappoint and even shame himself.

They reach honeymoon bed with different missions. Abstinence generates his high expectations for satisfying results aka performance, which means Act II has to be great. Abstinence generates her high expectations for gratifying results aka pleasurable closeness, which means Acts I and III have to be great. She can handle an iffy Act II. (Unmatched objectives, but that’s a common story among sexual encounters.)

Max Hurt. Few things, if any, shame a man more than a female witness to his sexual failure. I repeat: Few things, if any, shame a man more than a female witness to his sexual failure.

The very nature of bridegroom virginity sets men up with the threat of failure. The threat feeds on itself, because it compounds fear, anxiety, and loss of self-confidence. All are functions of his mind to which bride during courtship has few hints, little influence, and few preventives.

Thus, the virgin groom arrives at the honeymoon bed poorly equipped to PROUDLY fulfill his husbandly duty. Recovery may come but only time and an understanding, proudly dedicated, encouraging, and perhaps long suffering bride can provide it.

Tomorrow’s post explores the hormone-laden emotional burdens put into action by virginal grooms.


Filed under virginity

3 responses to “981. Virgin Bridegroom—Part II

  1. Wouldn’t the same apply to *any* virgin male’s “first time”?

    Your Ten-ness Kathy,
    Yes, absolutely, and the older he is, the worse the effect from anxiety and fears. As Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” On thoughts of first time sexual performance, a male’s imagination works overtime.

    • ladylike

      Yes – but if the experience is a failure and causes him shame, he can escape the sense of failure if he isn’t married as he doesn’t have to face the woman again if he so pleases. However, if he is married he has to face his bride the next day, so I suppose it’s that haunting feeling that he will not be able to escape his shame afterwards which haunts a virgin bridegroom on his wedding night. Just surmising.

      Your Supremeness Ladylike,
      True. The haunting expands his anxiety and fears, which threaten just nominal performance. Unmarried sex provides opportunity for self-testing and recovery of self-confidence and self-respect by moving on.

      • Lady Nemesis

        Which means that all of ladies DO NOT want to be simply a mans “self-testing” site- Uuugh, just the thought of it sickens me.

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