Seal the Deal. The bride dreams of sealing mutual devotion on her wedding night and honeymoon that follows. She anticipates Acts I, II, and III aka Foreplay, Intercourse, and Intimacy. However, the wedding night especially haunts the virgin bridegroom. He’s loaded with potential to disappoint and even shame himself.
They reach honeymoon bed with different missions. Abstinence generates his high expectations for satisfying results aka performance, which means Act II has to be great. Abstinence generates her high expectations for gratifying results aka pleasurable closeness, which means Acts I and III have to be great. She can handle an iffy Act II. (Unmatched objectives, but that’s a common story among sexual encounters.)
Max Hurt. Few things, if any, shame a man more than a female witness to his sexual failure. I repeat: Few things, if any, shame a man more than a female witness to his sexual failure.
The very nature of bridegroom virginity sets men up with the threat of failure. The threat feeds on itself, because it compounds fear, anxiety, and loss of self-confidence. All are functions of his mind to which bride during courtship has few hints, little influence, and few preventives.
Thus, the virgin groom arrives at the honeymoon bed poorly equipped to PROUDLY fulfill his husbandly duty. Recovery may come but only time and an understanding, proudly dedicated, encouraging, and perhaps long suffering bride can provide it.
Tomorrow’s post explores the hormone-laden emotional burdens put into action by virginal grooms.