1145. Favored Quotes—Collection 18

“One thing I recommend for any person in the future, if you’ve been with someone for more than a month and they haven’t changed their Facebook status to show that they are in a relationship, bail. No second chance, no hesitation, bail and never look back.” [Jim at 1136]

“Men put their self worth on what they do, which determines who they are. Women put their self worth on who they are, which determines what they do.” [Simplicity Evermore at 1139]

“Now, ‘love’ and ‘respect’ are really the same thing, the “difference” between them being a matter of focus.” [Ilion at 1102] [Guy adds: The merit rests with the firmly connected spirit behind both love and respect that prompts people to give rather than take.]

“When [women] started competing with each other we stopped trusting each other, and then we looked to men to replace the influence of good female friendships.  When that didn’t work (as it doesn’t in the vast majority of cases), the women harden their hearts and become even more competitive, judgy, insensitive, entitled, and unhappy. It is my firm belief that women NEED other women for love, support, and encouragement.  We might be able to get by without it but we are not better for it.” [Violet at 1134]

“So maybe it doesn’t matter if what he does is pleasing to me. Maybe what matters is that what he does is right, and it pleases me BECAUSE it is right.” [Simplicity Evermore at 1133]


Filed under Dear daughter

4 responses to “1145. Favored Quotes—Collection 18

  1. I don’t know about the whole “change the relationship status on f/b” thing — some people just don’t put their relationship status on f/b. I’m not sure I’m listed as “married” on f/b, although I certainly am. 🙂 That’s probably a good rule of thumb, but I don’t think it should become dogmatic.

    Your Prettiness Kathy,
    I interpreted Jim to mean this: If a new relationship doesn’t motivate a woman to change her status on Facebook, she’s not deeply involved if even sincere in the relationship. It’s a red flag about emotional fidelity.

  2. Grace

    I might check my facebook page once every six months, and I’m not even sure where the relationship status thingy is. I guess I’d be dumped for my lack of social networking savvy.

    • Jim

      I acknowledge that what I said was a “one size fits all” sort of comment, but in my situation Facebook was an every day, all day part of her life.

      Until Facebook has a “two lives as one” option that joins profiles and makes it clear to everyone that there are no secrets in a relationship, it really doesn’t belong in a married couple’s life in my opinion. Single/looking guy friends are not the best council for a woman having a mid-life crisis.

      BTW: I have never had a Facebook account and seriously doubt that I ever will.

      • Grace

        Guy friends in general are not good counsel if you are having relationship troubles. Facebook isn’t the problem so much as that behavior of sharing too much with male friends. The state of your heart, your emotions, and issues with your relationship should not be shared with another man. It’s emotionally bonding for the woman, and often the man uses it as a way into her pants. (I don’t mean male relatives and the elderly. Seeking counsel there is fine. But avoid it with men who are your peers.) But I don’t even believe in professional opposite sex counseling, so I may be a bit extreme on that. If someone is indiscreet in this area then it will be a problem, facebook or no facebook.

        That two lives as one option would be lovely. I bet that a lot of people would use that. And even more would fight about why they aren’t using that. LOL

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