1209. Ties That Bind and Blind — #10

  • Females learn the most and best about dealing with men both temporarily and permanently, when they retain their virginity, either real or virtual.
  • Her sexual history is best kept as secret or lacking in details as possible.
  • Women expect men to love as females do, but it’s another gene inequality. Chromosome math always applies for love:  xx ≠ xy.
  • When a woman partakes of promiscuous sexual freedom, she destroys the virtues that inspire a man to prove himself worthy of her.
  • Women too eager for marriage accept a man’s verbal commitment, which usually stands the test of neither time nor other sex objects.
  • Female dominance melts away with a couple’s unmarried sex. He sees her in a very different light after conquest. That light is not complimentary to her, when it comes to who dominates whom.
  • By absorbing feminist politics, women condemn the masculine nature while turning off or tuning out their female nature.
  • If she can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him. If that happens, she’s not grateful for him. If that happens, he’s not too interested in staying with her.
  • Experience with many sex partners hardens a woman’s heart. Enough of it makes her cynical, suspicious, and unable to like herself enough to hold a man.
  • The greater her feminine virtue, then the greater her man’s respect and the more likely her future faithfulness to him. Men expect that first, always, and to be obvious in their woman.


Filed under Dear daughter

8 responses to “1209. Ties That Bind and Blind — #10

  1. A young woman

    “If she can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him. If that happens, she’s not grateful for him. If that happens, he’s not too interested in staying with her.”

    Good morning,
    I am puzzled; could you clarify this for me please? It seems, to me, that men want women who are self-sufficient and don’t need them and want women to be financially and emotionally independent. Yet you say if a woman can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him (I agree) but then he’s not interested. What would a man like a woman to depend on him for? What’s too much dependency? Is there a balance there somewhere? I hope my question was clear and thank you in advance.

    Your Brilliantness A young woman,

    Finding the balance for each of the following is very personal to each relationship.

    + He wants her to depend upon him for producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving.

    + He expects her to be and show respect and gratitude for both who he is and what he does in his work.

    + He expects her to be self-sufficient in that she doesn’t interfere much with his missions in life, of which his job is probably the primary one. The same applies to emotional independence. For her to do otherwise, she comes across as high maintenance which has it’s own problems.

    + He isn’t interested in her dependence on him for things that she can do for herself. He prefers to please or satisfy her when it’s his idea more than hers. Building cooperative relationships and harmony within the home best meets his expectations.

    The foregoing may sound distasteful to the female mind. But remember that I describe the male nature and not the way men should be in company with their woman. That’s an issue she has to screen for and they have to work out.


    • Replying to A Young Woman as a fellow young woman,

      I think that the prevailing attitude you mentioned is a fallout of feminist attitude. Yes, women are becoming more independent in financial and living situations, but there’s one area where neither men nor women are totally independent, and that is sexuality and emotional connection. The need for connection (sex being a powerful way of connecting with another person) is more manifest in women than men. But if today’s supposedly independent women are “dependent” on men only for sex… what do men need to do? Invest just enough to have sex. It’s not worth the effort to invest more into her, because she (again, supposedly) has obtained everything else she needs by herself. And, as Sir Guy has put it so astutely, that’s no achievement for men, and it hardens both women and men against each other.

      From what I’ve observed, the statement that men today “want women who are self-sufficient and don’t need them” is about as far from the truth as you can get. Men may believe and expect that, but it’s mostly because feminism has firstly conditioned women to believe that, and then conditioned them. On the contrary, despite feminist indoctrination, there are men out there (I’ve seen them with my own eyes and interacted with them personally, so I know it for a fact) who want connection, who want to love one woman, who want to be loved in return just as they are. Many of the relationship articles as cited above are written by women. But that doesn’t mean that men don’t agree — they do, they probably just don’t express it so much. Why doesn’t he? Because he’s male.
      (Come to think of it… how many relationship articles with a feminist bent are written by women? By men? That should suggest something…)

      Friend Young Woman, please don’t see me as accusing you – not at all! I know that “wanting an independent woman” seems to be the case with men, but it’s really not true. One just has to look carefully, and dig a bit to find out where a man’s true belief lies.

      Your Great Wisdomness Vega,
      You present us with a marvelous rendition of age-old wisdom. I love your “…look carefully, and dig a bit to find where a man’s true belief lies.”

      • Southernbelle

        This is very confusing too me. Every woman does not have a father or brother to provide and protect her until a husband assumes that responsibility. Many women have to assume the role of provider and protector by necessity. So from what I glean a man will see that as her not needing him? Survival does not equal independence. Seeking contentment in where she is in life, trusting in God’s providence and provision does not equate to not needing or desiring a man to lift these burdens from her. How can that be communicated to men other than directly? He still must spend time with her to learn these things about her even if appearance and her demeanor reflect contentment. Sir Guy, you’re insight is much appreciated.

  2. Somewhere in Guy’s many posts he mentioned something to the effect that a man’s love grows toward a woman when he sacrifices for her (and he feels really good about himself as well).

    I have found this to be true. I used to try to be the sacrificial type wife who was willing to do without many things but have since learned that my husband feels much more loving toward me when I allow him to give and sacrifice for me. Sometimes I feel badly for how hard he works for our large family but I steal something from him when I try to lift his load by taking over his responsibility as provider. Instead, I can ease his burden by giving him a peaceful home to come home to and teaching his children to appreciate and respect him.
    It’s a bit hard to explain all the nuances of the provider/protector versus the supporter/grateful accepter but it works.
    If my husband ever thought that his provision wasn’t crucial to me I think it would be devastating to him.

    Jill F.

    Your Feminine Gloriousness Jill F,
    You seem to have mastered more than a fews secrets for breathing harmony into your home. You stand out as a stand up woman too.

  3. Simplicity Evermore

    My Lady Farris,

    “I steal something from him when I try to lift his load by taking over his responsibility as provider. Instead, I can ease his burden by giving him a peaceful home to come home to and teaching his children to appreciate and respect him…If my husband ever thought that his provision wasn’t crucial to me I think it would be devastating to him.”

    I am printing your statement. And I hope Sir Guy can put it on his quote list!

    Your Alltogetherness Simplicity Evermore,
    You’re right. It’s a statement I highly favor and strongly endorse to be duplicated by other women.

  4. elle

    I enjoy my career. I did the stay at home thing when my children were young and I enjoyed that too, but I need more than housekeeping in my life to be fulfilled. Thankfully my husband is confident enough not to be threatened by that.

  5. Catalina

    😦 while this blog confirms some of what I have learned, it is also depressing and makes me question how I can find what I want/need in this life. I want a boyfriend husband in order to get EMOTIONAL support….but if that is supposedly bad then there’s no point in a man, yet I’m not a lesbian lol
    sigh, I just hope that biological and genetic nuances somehow produce males that are slightly different from the kind described here.

    Your Highness Catalina,

    The men you face are very different than the male nature I describe on the blog. They are loaded with emotions, beliefs, and values and you should be able to find whatever you seek.

    Keep this in mind, however. Emotional support is not a guy’s strength as it is with women. The best way to get it is to build it within a relationship by using virtual virginity to take advantage of when he’s most ‘teachable’ and willing to develop habits of providing what you expect.

    The HardToGet, Her Sexual History, and Virtual Virginity series explain the interactions more completely than I do here.


    • Catalina

      Thank you for your reply. I really love your blog, btw. It’s written so professionally and neatly, and offers so much wisdom.

      I just dread the fact that full disclosure is bad (not so much in terms of virtual virgnity and things relating to the past, but about daily life and emotions)–I know femininity is supposed to be mysterious, but it’s hard to keep things to myself,, and again, I want a guy to be emotionally intimate with.

      But over the past year, the question that’s really been burning at the back of my mind is what I can offer a male in return for emotional support, reliability, and for beign the primary provider. Because I realize that I want a lot from a guy, yet don’t feel like I can offer much in return.

      I mean, besides say, cooking most of the time and keeping the home (in a marriage)….It seems like the intangibles that a female can provide are very vague and seem……useless >.< From reading soem of your posts, it seems like all the female can do is keep the home and act mysetrious and pretty, yet….that doesn't seem substantial compared to what I want from a guy–and it's not like I'd be willing to be mysterious most of the time =/

      I hope I'm not annoying you with questions, but I'm trying to figure out life and love and how to move past my previous relaitonship. I'm only almost 21 y.o., btw, so that's why I'm unsure of myself, confused about the world, etc.

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