1230. Devotion: Keeping It


Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1822.

7 Comments

Filed under How she wins

7 responses to “1230. Devotion: Keeping It

  1. Sharon

    Dear Sir Guy,
    Once again, you have set off light bulbs in my brain. Throughout most of my married life, I found it hard to understand the male makeup, and it seems most of the “marriage books” I ever read emphasized what a wife needed to be doing — without providing any understanding of the man’s “quirks.” :0) E.g. my husband’s definition of nagging and my own are very different, and this post explains why! As for a man’s clutter (e.g. sock balls left on the living room floor), one of my younger friends says “It’s not on his radar” and simply and silently picks up after him. You would not let it go at that. Instead, you provide for women the needed insight regarding differences in makeup and how to wisely reconcile them. What a huge blessing you are!

  2. Catarina

    “She is often impatient and opens some doors ahead of him…if she doesn’t honor his duty then he drops it as a duty…He won’t change and soon learns to resent her expecting it at all…” I had to comment on this, as it seems to me that women are so eager to step in and take over a man’s responsibilities…in the home, in the church, in the workplace. And then we wonder what happened to manliness and chivalry and a man’s natural respect and protectiveness toward womanhood (his wife specifically and womanhood in general). My husband always said that women seem to want to take over and fill in where they see a man’s shortcomings, and if they do it too much a man will let them do it, rather than being shamed into doing it himself. He always said it’s better for the man to suffer for his own inaction and for the woman to mind her own business and leave him to himself and to God. Sometimes we ladies have to suffer, too …

    • Catarina,

      Good thoughts…I agree with you. It takes a strong woman who will not leave her jurisdiction to step in where she sees manly weakness or failure. It is hard. Sometimes she has to suffer silently but the rewards are worth it. She grows her husband into the man everyone wish they had!

      Jill Farris

  3. MorningGlory

    I found this post very useful, Guy! It underscores what you’ve said before about how men do respond to how they’re treated. If a woman treats a grown man like he’s a child, that’s the behavior he will give back. If she treats him like the adult he is, then of course he’s capable of dealing with his own clutter.

    A great post about how patience pays off!

  4. Abigail

    I understand the principle but I would feel strange placing his clutter on the bed…it seems bitchy! Please help me understand how to do this!

    Your Highness Abigail,
    Once again you struck gold. I gave you more than you probably wanted and its at today’s post, 1231. Thanks for the inspiration if I answered your concerns.
    Guy

  5. Denise

    “A man can like and commit to someone or something without his respecting that person or thing. But not a man’s devotion, it rises up from his respect for that person or thing.”

    Hmm…I’m guessing that a man can respect a woman without growing in devotion towards her. Men are supposed to respect women generally. So what is the turning point from holding a woman in high esteem to becoming willing to devote himself to her? Is it a matter of the degree of respect? How would you interpret a man going out of his way to tell a woman how much he respects her?

    Your Highness Denise,

    “So what is the turning point from holding a woman in high esteem to becoming willing to devote himself to her?” First, that he wants to. Second, when she shows greater promise for his future.

    “How would you interpret a man going out of his way to tell a woman how much he respects her?” He’s putting out feelers to find out if she’s interested in him before he risks making a mistake. He’s probably not strong on courage facing a woman but may be GoodEnough otherwise. Or, he may be trying to get her to initiate so he can be vague and unavailable and dodge risk even further.

    Guy

  6. Simplicity Evermore

    “First, that he wants to.”

    I think this is a good sentence. While the woman’s character does play a part, it isn’t the sole deciding factor. And sometimes I wonder if it isn’t a lesser factor then we give it credit for. *has seen some men marry some questionable women* I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t have character. But I’m thinking that a lot of who gets married and when is mostly determined by whatever day the man wakes up and decides that he wants to get married. Sometimes it seems that whatever girl he happens to be with at the moment is the one he picks. (maybe because it’s easiest?) That saying: “Where there’s a will there’s a way” seems to be the heart of it.

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