Men show their love by dedication to job and family. Restricted to that, a husband makes wife feel taken for granted. She expects to see his love expressed as she shows it, by showing attention, affection, and appreciation. But he fails at that expectation; he’s just not made that way. The closest he gets to it is by frequently surprising his woman. Small actions carry his feelings wrapped more in the thought than the gift or whatever. If he tries to please her, whether she’s pleased or not, she has seen his love expressed. She may ask for more but is unlikely to get it. He’s a man, and men pride themselves for keeping their feelings under control and mostly to themselves.
Nature pressures men to please females for sex but little else. But hope never ends. The process to make men enthusiastic about pleasing their woman rises out of being able to please wives and daughters easily and successfully. Females have to teach it in three earlier phases of life. (Selfishness and self-centeredness often interfere, but that’s another story.)
Development of one boyhood habit starts the lessons. Fathers exemplify it and mothers teach how to please the woman of the house. Boys repeatedly please mom and receive her pleasant reassurances. The habit forms and boys learn the connection that women provide rewards for pleasing them. Further, boys are taught to respect and please sisters by making them feel important and worthy of affection. When sisters reciprocate with admiration, boys are hooked. When boys learn those lessons at home, they later start their own families well prepared for breeding family success. But it’s not enough.
Girls help close the gap. Never having been a girl, I take great risk announcing this but Mrs. Guy confirms: Adolescent girls want most out of life to see boys trying to please them. Dreaming continually about it inspires girls to learn more about boys than boys ever learn about girls. Female mystery prompts and further promotes the drive within boys to please females. The better girls teach boys to please them, the more skilled and enthusiastic those boys will be as husbands. The secret: Success at pleasing females pleases guys, and we all do more of those things at which we are successful.
However, out of political and pop culture pressures, modern girls and single women reverse the process. They please men before marriage and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts or respect unearned givers. After marriage, women expect to be pleased instead of pleasing so eagerly. They become different than whom he married. But their husbands have been taught that female rewards come without pleasing a woman. So, the female game of please-to-capture and marry-to-become-pleased backfires.
Whatever promising habits form in boyhood, the mental conditioning breaks down when females please males with unearned sex. As women go, so goes society. As women please men before marriage, men don’t please women afterward. Husbandly and fatherly enthusiasm never rises very high.