1683. Nagging and Ice Cube Trays

This is about the nagging wife. She’s overly fixated on improving her man. His shortcomings outweigh his benefits, and it leads to loss of him by her.

Nagging wives partition their respect and gratitude for husbands. Visualize two ice cube trays of a dozen cubes each. One tray represents the dozen reasons she respects her husband. For example, one cube represents his ability to provide, protect, etc. Another represents her view of his ability to care for the house, yard, cars, etc. Another represents his fathering ability and another lovemaking and so forth. The nagging wife’s respect is built upon specific reasons. She claims to respect him generally, but she’s unable to abide with his shortcomings, and she has to let him know that he should do better. Thus, certain wives chips away at individual cubes and keep other cubes intact.

The other tray similarly represents a dozen reasons why she’s grateful for him. For example, he’s good looking, he’s rock steady in performing chores around the house and yard, he’s a dependable father, etc. But the same wives also chip away at the gratitude cubes.

Everyone has shortcomings. Wife’s nagging only aims to ‘fix’ specific ones. All else about him is fine. The untouched cubes represent the respect and gratitude in which she continues to hold him. That’s her view. Thus, she justifies nagging by trying to call it something else.

Every wife seeks to improve her husband, but some take the nagger’s impatient, negative, demotivating, and demeaning method. She broadcasts his shortcomings to improve him and loses his respect for her in the process (and a man’s love is based on respect for his woman).

On the other hand, visualize husband’s expectations of wife’s respect and gratitude as represented by two ice cube trays. However, the trays aren’t partitioned into cubes. They are two solid slabs. Wife’s nagging chips away and consistently downsizes both slabs until what’s left isn’t enough for him to stay with her.

Wife views her respect and gratitude rock solid except for fixing a few minor shortcomings. Husband views wife’s nagging as attacks on his major traits, skills, and ability to fulfill his sense of responsibility. She nags about big things to her that are small things to him.

The Bible describes how men reject a nagging wife. It irritates men no end. Men resist mightily their woman’s attempts to change them. Nagging implies lack of respect, gratitude, and masculine significance, which inspires men for departure physically, mentally, or both.


Filed under How she loses

2 responses to “1683. Nagging and Ice Cube Trays

  1. anonymous

    Great analogy!

  2. Guy, I am not sure the best place to post this so I’ll do it here ;-).
    I just read a chick lit book called The Thing about Jane Spring by Sharon Krum. It could have been called “How to apply What Women Never Hear!”
    Jane Spring is a tough (but appealing) attorney who had been raised by a General/Father. Men are attracted to her until after the first date. She is in-your-face and blunt (like a general) and can’t figure out why she can’t have a long term relationship. Her friends are afraid to tell her.
    She realizes she needs a mentor but has no clue who.
    During a blizzard she is stuck watching old Doris Day reruns and has an epiphany about Doris Day. She realizes Doris is always encouraging, beautiful, smiling, virginal, in short, Doris would work as her mentor.

    She remembers watching Doris Day with her grandmother as a young girl and digs her grandmothers wardrobe out of storage which is classic Doris Day. What follows is her experience as she enjoys the attention of people on the street (she decks herself out) and the reaction of her co workers to the change.

    When she feels herself about to react like her old self (ie., like a man) she asks herself “What would Doris do?” and she chooses to react in a feminine way.

    It really is a fun book although some of the language is questionable. A really fun chapter is when she returns home for Christmas and her General Father is convinced that working among civilians caused her to finally lose her sanity and become the Avon Lady!

    I wouldn’t highly recommend this book to young people but she definitely discovers what women never hear!

    Jill Farris

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