1749. Sex Differences Redux — Part 03: Their Fears and Time Focus


We continue here with two more of the motivational forces that guide human behavior when men and women have no conscious or habitual reason to do otherwise.

Her Greatest Fear. She fears abandonment by her father and then her man.

His Greatest Fear. He fears insignificance especially in the eyes of his woman.

Her Time Focus. A woman focuses primarily on the future in order to meet her need for a brighter future for her and her children. She handles most of her present-day concerns and activities as the result of earlier anticipation, planning, and attitude adjustment. Also, fear of abandonment amplifies a woman’s concern for the future.

His Time Focus. A man focuses primarily on the present. His primal readiness to compete mandates more attention be paid to challenges today. Also, his sense of significance arises from past accomplishments and dreams that he lives to fulfill.

This and the two previous articles (1747 and 1748) simplify the drives, needs, wants, fears, and time focus of the sexes. There’s more to come as this series continues.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “1749. Sex Differences Redux — Part 03: Their Fears and Time Focus

  1. Anon...

    IMO, many modern women are NOT thinking about the future, only the present. I see where this may lead::girls/women w/o many real men to choose from.While women are thinking over careers outside the home~and getting sexual needs met, men are still thinking about the present gettin’ as much sex as they can. It wouldnt surprize me if polygmy is in our future within the next 10 years.Although not all men think about the present only, some have daughters, many men think and plan about the future IF they have a Judeo Christian worldview

  2. Cocoa

    Hello sir Guy, when a man is faced or sense insignificance – his greatest fear – he tends to work hard to gain significance, through work, achievements or other women. When a woman is faced by her greatest fear – abandonment, what is she to do to overcome this feeling? I am not saying that she’s abandoned already but she just has this fear and worry.

    Your Highness Cocoa,

    She brightens her future the best she can. She prepares according to what, when, where, who, why, and how it may happen and whatever consequences she can anticipate. If and when it happens, the facts of her life will then become matters of adjustment, which will help enable her to settle and quiet her emotional turmoil.

    At the same time, she works diligently to change her relationship in such ways that abandonment does not occur without her agreement. The more options she can generate and more influence she can have over relationship decisions, the brighter her future will be. (For example, to agree to breakup isn’t nearly as devastating as abandonment.)

    Guy

  3. Lizzy

    Sir Guy,
    I decided to give my ex bf a second chance but he showed no effort again, he didn’t keep his promise and his actions again never matched his words. He told I’ll do my best to be good to you blah blah. So I had enough with him l decided to just leave and just leave things unresolved between us. Do nothing I changed my # so I’ll never hear from him. He will eventually figure it out in his own. To me he deserves no explanation. What are your thoughts guy?


    Your Highness Lizzy,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You did right. Dumped without complaint or explanation. Made YOU feel good for a change. Right?

    Your kind heart and patience gave him a second chance, which finished his respect for you. You were competing to get him to change. He resists change quite naturally, you were not respectable enough for him to want to keep you alongside, and so he will likely melt easily back into the parade that you condemned him to. Congratulations.

    With next guy let your high standards become more obvious through your actions and judge better about red flags. Look for qualities within his character. In the long run, only a man’s character matters to help achieve female hopes and dreams. If you can’t live for life with his faults, dump him. You can try to improve minor habits before conquest – e.g., teaching him to show more affection. If he changes, fine. If not, put him back in the parade of men passing by.

    You will get what you deserve, and so you have to act as if you deserve a lot more than a guy usually expects to give. If he won’t rise to your expectations about your life, you’re not that important to him and he’s only after sex.

    Decide now that commitment isn’t enough and is probably offered only in pursuit of sex or shack up. You want and will settle for nothing less than a man’s devotion as displayed with actions that confirm his words instead of contradict his words. But then, you know that.

    Best of luck, darling. It’s all in your hands if you keep control of your life with your heart. I suggest you spend a lot of time going over the 98 Female Blessings at Birth that women have pitched out of their hearts. Reclaim many of those traits and you will find your heart a much better guide for you.

    Guy

    • Lizzy

      ” Made YOU feel good for a change. Right?”
      Yes it did made me feel good 🙂 I told myself back to the parade he goes. Looking back a few years ago I would feel afraid which it would lead to being/acting desperate. I would even even panic with the thought of losing him. But now things have changed, I have changed I’m no longer afraid. I’m in better control of myself and emotions. I now know what I’m looking for and what I want. I can’t thank you enough for sharing such valuable wonderful wisdom to us. I still yet have a lot to learn but I love to learn and evolve to be a better me :).

      Your Highness Lizzy,
      “evolve to be a better me” doubles the size of the smiley face that follows.
      Guy

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