1750. Sex Differences Redux — Part 04: His Self-admiration

One major sex difference makes men more complex and harder to understand than women. Men are described here and women compared in Part 05.

From deep within the core of their maleness, the need for self-admiration motivates males both broadly and deeply but subconsciously. The need underlies every important thing they do, because their ambitions spring from it. Ambitions give birth to their many missions in life, and men formulate goals to complete their missions. Achieving goals embellishes their sense of accomplishment, which generates self-admiration. A satisfied need no longer motivates, however, and men are constantly reaching for new, better, and greater ambitions.

View the following as a closed loop that keeps circling and compiling upward from childhood into deeper and older adulthood.

  • Ambitions. A man pursues whatever will satisfy his subconscious yearning to admire himself. Genetics intrude and the greater his need for self-admiration, the greater his ambitions become.
  • Missions. To fulfill ambitions, men have many missions in life. They seem endless to women who have but one.
  • Goals. Manly missions are full of goals. Achieving them feeds his sense of accomplishment. Success focuses him on more prominent ambitions and goals of ever greater complexity, difficulty, or enjoyment.
  • Accomplishments. A man’s accomplishments are his life. He converts them directly into self-admiration. Admiration shown by other people only indirectly and with less value amplifies his self-admiration. (He ‘signs up’ with his woman expecting her to confirm the value of his accomplishments. If and when she doesn’t, his self-admiration vaporizes sufficiently to energize new ambitions for seeking another woman.)
  • Significance. Generating satisfaction in self-admiration establishes his effectiveness and registers as his sense of significance. (You recall that his greatest fear is insignificance. So, when his woman fails to admire his accomplishments, she indirectly weakens his sense of significance, which prompts him to look elsewhere for female admiration to confirm his self-admiration for being wonderfully valuable to any woman.)
  • Summary. The male closed loop proceeds from need for self-admiration to  ambitions to missions to goals to accomplishments to satisfied self-admiration to greater need. His significance is the end-product of the process as being currently compounded in his life. The female loop is much simpler and shown in the next article.

It’s their need for self-admiration that makes men independent and much less in need of females than the reverse. One exception: Conquests generate great amounts of self-admiration. Subsequent sexual encounters add little except as a man’s sex partner admires his masculine bedroom expertise.

Reaching for ever greater self-admiration, a man continues building loops upward through life until his significance weakens and sometimes starts regressing with the mid-life crisis. But that’s another story.

Thus, the male’s prime motivator makes men independent, whereas women are dependent on the more important things in their lives. Her prime motivator and dependency shines tomorrow. (Strictly for incidental levity, the contrast in motivational forces prompts women to claim that a woman’s work is never done and also makes women unable to accept their man doing nothing.) See you tomorrow.


Filed under sex differences

6 responses to “1750. Sex Differences Redux — Part 04: His Self-admiration

  1. Lin

    “Missions. To fulfill ambitions, men have many missions in life. They seem endless to women who have but one.”

    Sir Guy, I dont understand. Cant speak for all women of course but I have always a sense of many missions in life and dont understand having one mission only. According to your definition, I think like a man?

    Your Highness Lin,
    Nah! You don’t think like a man. You’ll learn about women’s single mission in tomorrow’s post about their prime motivator.

  2. kaikou

    Morning Sir Guy,

    At what point does a women give admiration/highlight his success, goals, accomplishments? Is this for every acquaintance, the same as respect?

    Lady Kaikou

    Your Highness Kaikou,
    Yes, much like respect. How else do men know their gender is respected unless women show appreciation with admiration being the best way?

  3. Guy, you often say that recovery is everything. Is there a particular way that women recover from intentionally or unintentionally undermining their man’s sense of self-admiration?

    Also, how would a woman act if her man seems especially insecure, even if–given his accomplishments–it would seem that he had little reason to be?

    Your Highness Denise,
    For all of the above, shut up. Quit complaining and explaining about marital squabbles and personal quibbles. Quit trying to convince him of anything. Use actions that demo respect and admiration for him and demo promise for her ability to support, defend, and validate his endeavors and value. Smile more and keep her opinions to herself. Learn to appreciate his opinions, but for the insecure ones about himself say, “Are you sure” or words to that effect.

    • Anne

      Great reminder! It seems I always need reminders to stop talking. :s Especially since we just moved and I have no female friends to talk with. I tend to “take it out” by blabbing to my husband. Time to regroup and zip the lips…

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