One major sex difference makes men more complex and harder to understand than women. Men are described here and women compared in Part 05.
From deep within the core of their maleness, the need for self-admiration motivates males both broadly and deeply but subconsciously. The need underlies every important thing they do, because their ambitions spring from it. Ambitions give birth to their many missions in life, and men formulate goals to complete their missions. Achieving goals embellishes their sense of accomplishment, which generates self-admiration. A satisfied need no longer motivates, however, and men are constantly reaching for new, better, and greater ambitions.
View the following as a closed loop that keeps circling and compiling upward from childhood into deeper and older adulthood.
- Ambitions. A man pursues whatever will satisfy his subconscious yearning to admire himself. Genetics intrude and the greater his need for self-admiration, the greater his ambitions become.
- Missions. To fulfill ambitions, men have many missions in life. They seem endless to women who have but one.
- Goals. Manly missions are full of goals. Achieving them feeds his sense of accomplishment. Success focuses him on more prominent ambitions and goals of ever greater complexity, difficulty, or enjoyment.
- Accomplishments. A man’s accomplishments are his life. He converts them directly into self-admiration. Admiration shown by other people only indirectly and with less value amplifies his self-admiration. (He ‘signs up’ with his woman expecting her to confirm the value of his accomplishments. If and when she doesn’t, his self-admiration vaporizes sufficiently to energize new ambitions for seeking another woman.)
- Significance. Generating satisfaction in self-admiration establishes his effectiveness and registers as his sense of significance. (You recall that his greatest fear is insignificance. So, when his woman fails to admire his accomplishments, she indirectly weakens his sense of significance, which prompts him to look elsewhere for female admiration to confirm his self-admiration for being wonderfully valuable to any woman.)
- Summary. The male closed loop proceeds from need for self-admiration to ambitions to missions to goals to accomplishments to satisfied self-admiration to greater need. His significance is the end-product of the process as being currently compounded in his life. The female loop is much simpler and shown in the next article.
It’s their need for self-admiration that makes men independent and much less in need of females than the reverse. One exception: Conquests generate great amounts of self-admiration. Subsequent sexual encounters add little except as a man’s sex partner admires his masculine bedroom expertise.
Reaching for ever greater self-admiration, a man continues building loops upward through life until his significance weakens and sometimes starts regressing with the mid-life crisis. But that’s another story.
Thus, the male’s prime motivator makes men independent, whereas women are dependent on the more important things in their lives. Her prime motivator and dependency shines tomorrow. (Strictly for incidental levity, the contrast in motivational forces prompts women to claim that a woman’s work is never done and also makes women unable to accept their man doing nothing.) See you tomorrow.