1750. Sex Differences Redux — Part 04: His Self-admiration

One major sex difference makes men more complex and harder to understand than women. Men are described here and women compared in Part 05.

From deep within the core of their maleness, the need for self-admiration motivates males both broadly and deeply but subconsciously. The need underlies every important thing they do, because their ambitions spring from it. Ambitions give birth to their many missions in life, and men formulate goals to complete their missions. Achieving goals embellishes their sense of accomplishment, which generates self-admiration. A satisfied need no longer motivates, however, and men are constantly reaching for new, better, and greater ambitions.

View the following as a closed loop that keeps circling and compiling upward from childhood into deeper and older adulthood.

  • Ambitions. A man pursues whatever will satisfy his subconscious yearning to admire himself. Genetics intrude and the greater his need for self-admiration, the greater his ambitions become.
  • Missions. To fulfill ambitions, men have many missions in life. They seem endless to women who have but one.
  • Goals. Manly missions are full of goals. Achieving them feeds his sense of accomplishment. Success focuses him on more prominent ambitions and goals of ever greater complexity, difficulty, or enjoyment.
  • Accomplishments. A man’s accomplishments are his life. He converts them directly into self-admiration. Admiration shown by other people only indirectly and with less value amplifies his self-admiration. (He ‘signs up’ with his woman expecting her to confirm the value of his accomplishments. If and when she doesn’t, his self-admiration vaporizes sufficiently to energize new ambitions for seeking another woman.)
  • Significance. Generating satisfaction in self-admiration establishes his effectiveness and registers as his sense of significance. (You recall that his greatest fear is insignificance. So, when his woman fails to admire his accomplishments, she indirectly weakens his sense of significance, which prompts him to look elsewhere for female admiration to confirm his self-admiration for being wonderfully valuable to any woman.)
  • Summary. The male closed loop proceeds from need for self-admiration to  ambitions to missions to goals to accomplishments to satisfied self-admiration to greater need. His significance is the end-product of the process as being currently compounded in his life. The female loop is much simpler and shown in the next article.

It’s their need for self-admiration that makes men independent and much less in need of females than the reverse. One exception: Conquests generate great amounts of self-admiration. Subsequent sexual encounters add little except as a man’s sex partner admires his masculine bedroom expertise.

Reaching for ever greater self-admiration, a man continues building loops upward through life until his significance weakens and sometimes starts regressing with the mid-life crisis. But that’s another story.

Thus, the male’s prime motivator makes men independent, whereas women are dependent on the more important things in their lives. Her prime motivator and dependency shines tomorrow. (Strictly for incidental levity, the contrast in motivational forces prompts women to claim that a woman’s work is never done and also makes women unable to accept their man doing nothing.) See you tomorrow.


Filed under sex differences

12 responses to “1750. Sex Differences Redux — Part 04: His Self-admiration

  1. Lin

    “Missions. To fulfill ambitions, men have many missions in life. They seem endless to women who have but one.”

    Sir Guy, I dont understand. Cant speak for all women of course but I have always a sense of many missions in life and dont understand having one mission only. According to your definition, I think like a man?

    Your Highness Lin,
    Nah! You don’t think like a man. You’ll learn about women’s single mission in tomorrow’s post about their prime motivator.

  2. kaikou

    Morning Sir Guy,

    At what point does a women give admiration/highlight his success, goals, accomplishments? Is this for every acquaintance, the same as respect?

    Lady Kaikou

    Your Highness Kaikou,
    Yes, much like respect. How else do men know their gender is respected unless women show appreciation with admiration being the best way?

  3. Guy, you often say that recovery is everything. Is there a particular way that women recover from intentionally or unintentionally undermining their man’s sense of self-admiration?

    Also, how would a woman act if her man seems especially insecure, even if–given his accomplishments–it would seem that he had little reason to be?

    Your Highness Denise,
    For all of the above, shut up. Quit complaining and explaining about marital squabbles and personal quibbles. Quit trying to convince him of anything. Use actions that demo respect and admiration for him and demo promise for her ability to support, defend, and validate his endeavors and value. Smile more and keep her opinions to herself. Learn to appreciate his opinions, but for the insecure ones about himself say, “Are you sure” or words to that effect.

    • Anne

      Great reminder! It seems I always need reminders to stop talking. :s Especially since we just moved and I have no female friends to talk with. I tend to “take it out” by blabbing to my husband. Time to regroup and zip the lips…

  4. Femme

    Sir Guy,
    what is the difference between significance and importance?
    Aren’t they the same thing?

    Your Highness Femme,

    No, not the same among the sexes as used here.

    Importance refers to the nature of females. Their prime motivation is to confirm their sense of importance, mostly to others in their life. Her greatest fear is abandonment, which is the worst leveling of importance.

    OTOH, significance is the sense a man has of his dynamic role in life. It arises out of his prime motivation to earn self-admiration by doing something, which leads to his finding satisfaction in what he accomplishes, which compounds and accumulates into his sense of significance. It’s why his greatest fear is insignificance, because it reduces him to just a person and not a man.


  5. Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this article plus the
    rest of the site is also really good.

    Sir Jason,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

  6. Femme

    So, if I understand correctly, a woman needs to feel she has enough good qualities to be able to draw others (specifically a male with whom she wants to start a family) and keep them attached to her. If she has managed to create family stability and keep her man with her then she feels good about herself.
    A man wants to feel significant in the world in general, not just to a particular woman. A particular woman can help a man being attracted to her if she admires his actions?
    I think that works quite well.
    So what is a woman to do if she HAS been abandoned by her father and therefore has had her worst fears confirmed?
    How can she build up her sense of importance again and let go of the feeling that she isn’t good enough?

    Your Highness Femme,

    First two paragraphs are true. As for the last paragraph:

    • She finds ways to be grateful for herself, her roles in life, and her worth as decent person and woman. It will help to study this list at blog top, “Female Blessings at Birth.”

    • She finds ways to identify and pass on her gratitude for those with whom she associates. She aims her life toward finding ways, people, and things for which she is or can be grateful.

    • She finds gratefulness for all the things God, Nature, and hormones provide her. Example: Each encounter with another person that she departs with a good feeling about herself.

    When she’s finding gratitude, she’s not focused on her miseries but benefits and glories. Her mind should reside there.


  7. Femme

    Thank you, Sir Guy.

  8. SuzyQ

    (Reaching for ever greater self-admiration, a man continues building loops upward through life until his significance weakens and sometimes starts regressing with the mid-life crisis. But that’s another story)

    Sir Guy,
    could you please do an article or series on the above about a man’s significance weakens and regressing with age and mid-life crisis.
    i see alot of your readers are middleage and married and it would help us to know what our husbands go through and maybe feeling and with your wisdom you may be able to help us ladies by giving us advice how to help our marriage and our husbands.what can we do or should do?

    There are alot of divorces lately of middleage and older couples who have been together over 30 years and both the husband or wife blames a mid-life crisis caused the divorce.
    can you help us women naviagate the mid-life crisis our husbands may go through or is going through.how can we help our husbands sense of significance do to mid-life crisis when he starts regressing or has just given up his ambitions?and sometimes just gives us wives up or just seems to lose intrest in us,even sex sometimes

    • SuzyQ

      PS.i been a reader and commented in the past.i changed names do to privacy being seen by people who may know who i am in my home if they stumble here

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