1752. Sex Differences Redux — Part 06: She’s Pretty, He’s Not

Primal urges motivate us. Primal convictions shape our agendas and stir the sexes differently before and often in spite of emotional motivators such as love, hate, religion, ambition, misery, ideologies, et al.

The first primal conviction of females is the belief that each is pretty. They’re endowed with the blessing of always impressing other favorably, and the smarter ones intend to stay that way. Not for others so much as for their own self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image, and self-interest. For women, success begins with a pretty smile, and so they brighten their daily routine with ‘pretty time’ (more later).

A woman’s greatest prettiness emerges when she takes it for granted so easily and subconsciously that she never tries to use it for personal gain; instead, she lets others recognize her prettiness and she basks in the reflected glory rather than the direct blessing. By doing so she compliments the other person rather than seemingly brag to herself. In other words, she’s at her best when she enables her prettiness to shine solely in the eyes of the beholder.

On the other hand, men are not so endowed. Many find reason to believe they are handsome, but it’s a conviction they aren’t born with.

Women and men respond differently to recognition of a woman’s prettiness and a man’s absence of handsomeness. A woman’s prettiness plays habitually in the background of her life. She rewards others with pretty smiles, which pass quickly except as pleasant feelings. Handsomeness confirmed by thoughts and habits plays in the foreground of a man’s life. He rewards himself with expanded ambitions and ways to exploit his looks to achieve the many goals in his life.

Although born convinced that their looks don’t really matter, boys go through adolescence overcoming doubts and trying to compensate for flaws. In the final analysis of mature adulthood, men face battles where their other talents and skills are far more effective than their good looks. Consequently, a man’s looks mean much less to women than vice versa.

On the other hand, a woman relies deliberately on her prettiness according to the strength she’s able to keep confirmed about it. Either she strengthens her conviction with ‘pretty time’ before a mirror, or her belief weakens and dims her future. She tunes up her prettiness daily and does it exclusively for herself too. In fact, when a woman prettifies herself to please or impress others, she abandons her nature, enlarges her self-centeredness, and adopts phoniness.

Unfortunately, women are vulnerable to having their conviction overturned. Precisely because prettiness is vital to their emotional well-being, some girls fall prey to the thoughts of others who for one reason or another discourage those girls’ convictions. So, when you see a female unconvinced of her prettiness, look to her childhood and those that robbed her of God’s blessing and Nature’s endowment.

Women have another blessing that men lack. It’s the subject of the next part due to post on the morrow.


Filed under sex differences

7 responses to “1752. Sex Differences Redux — Part 06: She’s Pretty, He’s Not

  1. Cocoa

    “So, when you see a female unconvinced of her prettiness, look to her childhood and those that robbed her of God’s blessing and Nature’s endowment.”. My mother did that to me as a child.

    However, thank God – my Savior – my husband, my boys and other handsome men who restored my lovable and likable self. I am grateful to the Lord, that without His unconditional love I would be in ruins.

    No one should underestimate lack of praise to a girl when she’s growing as a pretty woman. She was apparently terrified that if she told me that I am pretty that it will ruin me and turn into a bad girl! She tells me that now after decades…

    I am grateful that I can forgive and forget. I am grateful to see and feel that I am pretty in the eyes of my husband. He came home happy the other day and told me that his colleagues – who happen to know me – told him, your wife is beautiful…

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    Re your mother’s thoughts, I knew a father that refused to show any affection—neither touching nor praise—for his sons because he feared it would make them gay.

    • Cocoa

      For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 tim 1:7 )

      In true love there is no fear. Parents do what they think is right, however, if it’s out of fear then it’s not love.

  2. northshore

    You are both right that “pretty” is deeper than looks, and is different from “attractive” and “beautiful.” Pretty exudes from within; pretty is innate. “Attractive,” on the other hand, is an external measure or judgment.

    To be told one is smart, attractive, has nice features, classy, intelligent, dignified — all of these are with good intentions but miss the mark. For a woman to believe she is *not* pretty, while she envies the women who clearly know they are pretty, is a sad thing. For a woman to believe that she is not *allowed* to be pretty — because she is supposed to be “smart,” as if those things are mutually exclusive — leads her to feel like she is less than the other women no matter what she looks like or how she dresses and walks.

    Every time I read these posts, I understand a bit better what was missing and why I felt something was missing but couldn’t articulate it until recently. I gave myself credit for a number of nice qualities, but I did not think I was pretty. I feel like I am getting my license to be pretty, like it is finally my day in the sun.

    • surfercajun


      I am convinced you are an extremely gorgeous person and hope you will hang around. :o)

  3. I read this today and here’s more proof that prettiness is a girl’s primal conviction! 🙂

    Your Highness Lovelypinkpearl,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Yes, I agree totally with the article you cite. I thank you on behalf of my readers. Hope you stick around.


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