1759. Sex Differences Redux — Part 13: Conquest Changes Him

Men are hunter-conquerors. After bagging a trophy they no longer see it as target. Consequently, men target women for conquest and view them quite differently after they first have sex together.

Hunter-conquerors are free after each conquest. Both man and relationship transmute into something else. It’s not any woman’s fault; the following highlights of the male nature cause it:

  • It’s a function of male dominance; men expect women to compete before conquest but cooperate afterward. They accept that women should defend what men consider the females’ most unique asset—until conquered, that is.
  • Carnal knowledge kills curiosity and wonderment about her body but generates curiosity about how he can use it.
  • Sexual contact bonds a female but not a man. So, both are somewhat or significantly more at odds than before.
  • Conquerors traditionally ‘own’ what they conquer, so he’s entitled to keep her available for sex and seemingly at his discretion. Whether as girlfriend, booty call, potential dumpee, or one-night stand, his right to call it reaffirms his manliness. If he can’t ‘own’ his trophy, he’s denuded of self-respect and, even worse, the respect of other men, his primary competitors.
  • Her resistance to post-conquest sexual events flies in his face as direct competition, and men don’t or won’t compete with a conquered woman. (They dodge or flee first and, yes, it’s out of fear. Should they ultimately lose to her, they would lose some of their significance and self-admiration. Lose such things to a woman and his self-respect, self-image, and self-love plummet. Men intuitively know to never let it happen. Moreover but never admitted, men also don’t compete with women out of primal and subliminal respect for female mental agility and ability.)
  • After conquest, her refusals for sex create relationship instability. She can refuse, but he won’t take it quietly for very long. He’ll likely push harder than she finds acceptable, or he just departs. (However, a process exists for her to recover and keep him around; it’s described in three series listed under virtual virginity, divorce, and recovery in the CONTENTS page.)
  • Whereas he seeks to know her strengths and weaknesses to facilitate conquest, he no longer needs to know about such things. So, his interest fades in who she is as a person, unless he was originally after her for herself rather than just sex. (A ‘love at first sight’ article is planned for the next day or so.)

On the other hand, if he’s in love and devoted to her, the natural urge to conquer takes the back seat to her wishes. But the conquering urge still lingers beneath the surface and can rise easily and forcibly if and when she turns out to be different than expected.

If no or few emotional ties to the female exist within the male, the harsher side of his nature emerges after conquest. Lacking emotional connections, he has no internal resistance to demolishing their relationship and her expectations.

Women find endless fault in men, much of it for the reasons cited above. However, God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize women as relationship experts. It enables them to generate compatibility out of so many male shortcomings that are seemingly undeserved by women. Experts know how to handle unexplained complications.


Filed under sex differences

10 responses to “1759. Sex Differences Redux — Part 13: Conquest Changes Him

  1. Lyndeeloo

    I’m eagerly awaiting the “Love at First Sight” article! I seem to remember a comment about men being able to fall in love at first sight, but not women. I’ve often wondered about it.

    The first bullet point mentions a woman’s most unique asset. Do modern men still hold virtue and virginity in high regard? I realize it sounds like a silly question, but I’ve heard many men claim they don’t want a virgin. The reasons being 1) if she’s a virgin past her teenage years she must be frigid or too conservative 2) virgins become emotionally attached too quickly/easily 3) her inexperience is a burden to him and he’d rather date/marry an experienced woman. These are things I’ve heard men of my age say time after time. I’ve been told “I don’t want to date/marry a tramp, but I don’t want a virgin either.”

    I’d value your insight on this point, Sir Guy.

    Your Highness Lyndeeloo,

    Women have been suckered with such claims for many years. You’re hearing the result of societal and cultural pressures built up over half a century and designed to make unmarried sex universal and reward men for supporting Feminism. Radical man-haters initiated it, leftists compounded it, and men fell in line and eagerly worked to support cheaper and freer sex. Men make the sexually sensational movies, dominate the media and show the underside of newscasters’ female thighs, generate and spread porn, and promote male-friendly political propaganda. They also concoct good reasons for women to let themselves be conquered. Imagine if those pressures were never compounded, and I’ll take you into the male nature for each item.

    “1) if she’s a virgin past her teenage years she must be frigid or too conservative” Is that a self-serving male position? Does it help heap shame or remorse on females and expedite their visit to a man’s bed? Why wouldn’t men spread such ideas? Why wouldn’t men provide excuses for dumping women to put all the blame on her?

    “2) virgins become emotionally attached too quickly/easily” The above response applies here too? Also, more than mature women, the comment describes young girls who just happen to be the most desirable for conquest. Moreover, women feel younger if they’re told they too may be subject to becoming emotionally attached too quickly/easily. The comment tends to confirm that the listener might be younger than she actually is. Comprende?

    “3) her inexperience is a burden to him and he’d rather date/marry an experienced woman.” Date her, perhaps. Marry her, never! Men try to avoid the situation where other men have been there first. Nowadays, with women so experienced sexually, men are pushed into it, but that doesn’t mean their male nature doesn’t hold it against their woman. It costs every woman masculine respect, and that leads to a lot of relationships crumbling, although the true reason is too subliminally primal to be admitted even if recognized. Who does a man respect more? A sexually experienced or inexperienced woman. Who does he marry? One he respects or one that may bring him face to face with men that got to her first? (You have to think like male competitors that use conquests and most other things in life to earn respect of their competitors. Until a man becomes devoted to a woman, and sometimes even after that, the respect of men dominates his thought processes.)

    “Love at First Sight” is scheduled for tomorrow.


    • Lin

      “Men try to avoid the situation where other men have been there first.”

      Sir Guy, I would agree with this. However there are cases when men fall in love with prostitutes. To clarify, not women who did that in their past, but women engaged in that business at the time when they met their future husbands or long term partners.

      I have seen this or heard of this phenomenon enough times to make me wonder, because it seems to go contrary to what you teach here about male nature ( an example, the phrase I quoted above).

      Prostitute or not, I do realize that behind the title are real women, with real lives and I am quite sure they need and/or deserve love, however I find this phenomenon hard to reconcile with your above quoted description of the male nature.

      Can you please help me understand?

      Just remembered an example I know first hand. A man met this lady who was ‘working’ in a bar. He knew what she was. They have been together for over 25 years and he takes care of her son (from the lady’s previous early marriage). ( Lady says she was pushed into prostitution at that time, due to the breakdown of her marriage, being in a strange city, no money, nowhere to sleep. small child). He helped her set up a small business and she is thriving.

      Over this period, the man has repeatedly asked her to marry him, but she refuses saying that she is fine as it is.

      So I guess the question is why did this man choose to stick around where so many other men have trodden, if this is such an important thing for men?

      By the way she is a lovely lady and I like her very much.

      Your Highness Lin,
      See my separate comment nearby.

  2. Joanna


    I don’t speak for Sir Guy of course, but I have come across this type of woman you mention, so I thought I’d share my experience of them.
    First thing to say is that they are the exception rather than the rule.
    Second thing to say is that they usually possess a distinctive quality which allows a man to overlook their ‘having been around’.

    Here’s the thing: it is a case of ‘in spite of’ rather than ‘because of’.
    These women attract devoted men IN SPITE of their past, not because of it.

    Which is why a movie like ‘Pretty woman’ is a little dangerous, because it gives the false idea that a woman can be a prostitute and still marry an attractive, high quality man.
    It is indeed a rare phenomenon.
    No to be counted on as a probability for one’s future.

    And yes, these women are usually lovely people, as you noticed. But I don’t know whether it is because they are intrinsically like this, or their situation renders them so, because they are forced to reflect on their life choices all of a sudden…the jury’s out on that one.
    But I do wonder, could this be one quality that makes them so attractive to a particular type of man??

    Your Highness Joanna,
    See my separate response nearby.

    • Lin

      “And yes, these women are usually lovely people, as you noticed. But I don’t know whether it is because they are intrinsically like this, or their situation renders them so, because they are forced to reflect on their life choices all of a sudden…the jury’s out on that one.”

      I also thought along the same lines as you mentioned above.

      With the example I wrote above, I noticed that the lady is an extraordinarily kind and helpful. She opens her home to others and helps out people in trouble with a compassion that is rare. As you said, could it be because she was forced to reflect on her life’s choices?

      Honestly even back then, I never really understood the pretty woman movie. Even though this phenomenon isn’t the general rule, I tend to see or hear more of it happen in places where there is little social pressure and where family and family history, background, holds little importance. I think.

      Still I am curious what it is within the male brain that makes them sometimes overlook ‘the path overly trodden’.

      Your Highness Lin,
      See my separate response nearby.

  3. Anon.....

    I may be wrong on this account But Guys who go for women like this might BE because there is no family pressure, and the woman isnt into having kids & a future, etc…once if/when the woman wants something more, the relationship may not be as simple…just a thought

    Your Highness Anon…,
    See my separate response nearby.

  4. A.GuyMaligned

    Your Highnesses Lin, Joanna, and Anon…,

    You may be missing the likely causes behind men motivated to team with or marry prostitutes, etc. To grasp it, look to a man’s opinion/beliefs about himself and how he lives his prior life. For example:

    • If his self-esteem is very low, he dislikes himself as a person. He got to his present position in life doing things that make him feel good about himself. Yet, his infant-instilled dislike and perhaps loathing of himself keeps returning.

    • Over time, his self-image blossoms with conflicting pictures of himself. No matter what he does, he doesn’t like himself enough to deserve what he gets. So, he lowers his sights in order to be more successful.

    • Maturing under that process forces him to keep lowering his sights until he sees success being vastly different from his nature and even other men. He thinks, ‘Why can’t they be more considerate of a woman who has been forced to do what she does?’ He then teaches himself to feel good about himself understanding and being altruistic to the woman of his latest and downgraded dreams who just happens to be a prostitute.

    • She fills his ambitions adequately until self-admiration builds from feeling good about himself with her. He found pleasures and pressures in life that override his nature to compete with men and not compete with women.

    Other men may have other motivational forces operating within themselves and still marry prostitutes. But the foundation, the basis of their motivations also lies with low self-esteem and low self-image. They feel good about themselves doing something very different from other men.

    Incidentally, Pretty Woman is a propaganda flick for Feminism since it touts the theme that promiscuous sex can be rewarding.


    • Lin

      Very interesting. I was wondering, Sir Guy, if you could devote a post to the effect of low self esteem and low self image on men in adulthood and how it affects their interaction with women.

      And maybe some tips on how women can recognize them fast enough before being suckered in.

      After reading and reflecting on your answer above, I realized that there are quite a number of men out here, who may have this problem and I am eager to know more.

      If there is something similar on the blog already, would you mind pointing it out me?

      Thank you

      Your Highness Lin,
      Look in the CONTENTS page under self-esteem etc.

  5. Anon...

    WOW i just found a website made by a 15 YEAR OLD GIRL in Pasadena CA. its called modestyclub.com. She is saying the SAME THING Sir Guy Has been saying~~and seeing it firsthand! Girls dressing hoochie in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! etc. Fans of Sir Guy should go over and support her

    Your Highness Anon…,
    Thanks. I hotlinked it.

  6. Anne

    Sir Guy, you reference a woman’s refusal of sex as frustrating to a man. But what about a man’s lack-of-interest in sex with his woman after conquest? Should a lady initiate, or is that taboo / feminist? Should she just wait if he procedes to go extended periods without initiating anything?

    Your Highness Anne,
    I’ve written on it but can’t locate the post. So, I punt with this. I’ll get back to you in a day or two, perhaps with a surprise.

    • Anne

      NB: I have read your post about “if she’s hot, its socialized.” And I agree with it. I don’t think I’m “socialized” in this way; I simply feel that we’ve lost all physical connection (including but not limited to sex) and am wondering if it is my place to initiate anything.

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