Ladies: This series within a series has a lot of new material. I am immensely grateful to my pretty co-author. Kathy Petersen. She wrote this introduction and help develop the rest of this series on love. Your reading should be easier because of her skills, diligence, and desire to help both me and you.
Women never hear about how men love. Consequently, women frequently make a fundamental mistake of treating men more or less as if they were women with slightly different anatomy. They treat men like they do women, expecting the result from a man that they would get from a woman. They then end up confused, bitter, or angry when their actions do not yield the expected result. It’s often the opposite result of that intended.
Sure, women give lip service to the idea that men and women are different—books and articles and movies abound with titles like, “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus” and “What Women Want.” Yet far too often, even while we recognize that men and women are different, we still treat each other as if we are the same. Consequently, when an action blows up in a woman’s face, when something she does to help her relationship actually ends up hurting it, she tends to blame the man.
This is not to say that a man is never or can never be at fault; but merely that women are the relationship experts, so when there is a problem, they are usually the first (and sometimes the only one) to recognize it, and it is primarily if not solely up to them to fix it. For those who are tempted to say, “That’s not fair!” Remember what our mothers told us: Life is not always fair. It may not be fair that women shoulder the relationship burden, but this series is not about placing blame, but about getting to the root of the problem, exploring the reasons of the problem, and demonstrating how to fix it. It is ultimately “What Women Never Hear”.
Books and movies are filled with things that women always hear, yet the state of marriage and male-female relationships are suffering at an ever-increasing pace. If What Women Always Hear worked, marriages should be lasting longer, relationships would be stronger, and divorce should be nearing nonexistence. The fact that the reverse is true indicates that What Women Always Hear is not working. It’s time for a paradigm shift – time for a change in thinking – time for What Women Never Hear. Specifically, it’s time for women to hear about love—both the giving and receiving.