Her Highness Wind in the Willows commented this way at 1662: “I would have never considered just ‘dressing up gorgeously’ as him interpreting it as a gift.” I intend to show that it’s an ‘earned gift’, the kind that men appreciate most.
Let’s presume that you have a date to attend some event. Your date’s friends/associates/family/pals will be present. To one degree or another, they will judge him by your appearance, words, and actions.
You should dress to please yourself AND dress appropriately for the event. Think dignified. How can you and your appearance bring credit to him in the form of admiration by men (his competitors) and apparent importance by women (your competitors)?
He thinks he deserves you at your best. However, he lacks a clear definition so ‘dressing up gorgeously’ (aka exceeding his expectations) gives you these advantages:
- When he arrives to pick you up, you’re eager to show yourself off. Having pleased yourself in dressing up, you aren’t anxious but confident that he will like your appearance. (If you dressed to please him, you would be anxious and less confident. Right?)
- He translates your being gorgeously attired as eagerness to please him. Self-admiration floods his psyche. (Your appearance far outweighs whatever words you think appropriate for greeting him.)
- His eagerness kicks in to show you off. Your appearance enables him to swagger a bit.
- He feels responsible to keep you looking the way you look when he picked you up. He politely accedes to subsequent demands for modesty, mystery, and other feminine attributes you may want to claim or display. (Your appearance raises his standards about his appearance whenever he expects to again see or be with you. It works indirectly, but as women set the example, men learn to follow.)
- “Dressing up gorgeously” rewards him for being smart (and perhaps cagey) enough to ask you out, and so he earned it. Men value gifts that are earned.
Don’t dress to please him (unless prescribed by the event you will be attending). His standards are lower than yours are—at least they should be—so it’s easy to exceed his expectations. Just don’t go so far that you look out of place or embarrass him.
You’ll probably be an old lady before you can live with this anomaly: His reputation and your attractiveness will be enhanced when you’re shining attractively but in background to him and unavailable to other men. You’re probably doing the right things when people conclude that he doesn’t deserve you. CAUTION: Don’t take such comments as freeing you to dress down or elevating you as more important than him.