1810. Sex Difference Redux—Part 60: Female Happiness—Mile 2b Mental

This second mile of the road to female happiness includes the physical (#1809), mental, and spiritual inputs to self-appreciation and self-gratefulness that are essential for happiness. I cover mental today and spiritual tomorrow.


Pursuing happiness requires self-discipline of conscious thought in the mind so that new habits are formed in the heart (as women call the subconscious). Many beliefs in the heart trigger bad habits of the mind and work against self-appreciation and self-gratitude. When one’s heart is plagued by any of the following, poor habits of self-behavior discourage both self-appreciation and -gratefulness.

  • Low self-esteem means dislike of self as a person. It forms and hardens in the first three years of life. Throughout life it promotes the worst among other personality components such as the following.
  • Lack of self-love reduces one’s ability to interact with and love others.
  • Self-image controls behavior this way: If you think you can, you do. If you think you can’t, you’re right. Low self-image makes one ultra-cautious or overly ambitious trying to hide it from other people.
  • Self-interest motivates one to pursue goals and fulfill ambitions. Poor or too narrow self-interest weakens one’s motivation to match those of people with whom they associate. They end up with fewer or smaller successes and of less value to those with whom they associate.
  • Self-respect determines one’s trust as held by others. Low self-respect energizes low trust. High self-respect MAY energize high trust.

Everyone is habitually burdened by one or some of those heartfelt beliefs. So, I will describe new behaviors—that when turned into habits—overwrite the negatives above. Or at least weaken them sufficiently that happiness is more easily attainable.

WADWMUFGAO, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. Success does it but failure doesn’t. In the following, keep in mind that success should prevail most of the time. So, transcribe success in a ‘gratitude’ journal and forget the rest. The new habit of recording success in one’s handwriting overwrites failures and makes it easy to forgive yourself and forget mistakes.

  • Self-esteem. Unfortunately, one can’t improve low self-esteem. They can only compensate by uplifting self out of the rest of the negative traits. Try their best to not think of disliking self as a person. Instead, learn to like self better as a person and also better as woman, wife, employee, lover, mother, sister, grannie, associate, and all other roles.
  • Self-love. One can love self much better by loving someone else much better. Try it, you’ll like it.
  • Self-image. One improves their self-image each time they do or accomplish something after overcoming anxiety, apprehension, or fear. Success after tackling new challenges changes one’s ability to do more than previously thought.
  • Self-interest. It motivates everyone to pursue what’s important. So, if one makes more things important to them, they both broaden and deepen the return on investment—appreciation and gratitude—so essential for happiness
  • Self-respect. Earn more trust out of other people and one’s self-respect improves.

As one overwrites old habits that arise out of the personality traits listed far above with new habits described immediately above, amazing things happen. They feel better about themselves. They find that self-appreciation is easier to generate, which makes self-gratitude prevail more of the time, which reflects outwardly as an attitude of gratitude, which in turn compounds unto itself to form gobs of happiness that sooner or later become total happiness.

The potential for driving out bad habits with the good is as described above. One can use it to earn the full measure of self-appreciation and self-gratitude.

The second mile about the self concludes with the spiritual side in the next article tomorrow.

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