1811. Sex Difference Redux—Part 61: Female Happiness—Mile 2c Spiritual

This second mile of the road to female happiness includes the physical (#1809), mental (#1810), and spiritual inputs to self-appreciation and self-gratefulness. I conclude with the spiritual side inherent to the female nature.


Actually, the complexities of the spiritual side of the female nature confound me. However, two points are very relevant to forming new habits and driving out bad ones. They are self-worth and self-forgiveness. The higher is the former, the easier becomes the latter. The comparison is vital. The inability to forgive oneself is the greatest single obstruction to women finding happiness.

The female nature thrives on not forgetting what is best forgotten (in order to pursue happiness). By being virtually unable to forget the wrongdoings of others, women choose appropriate times to figuratively fight back. (It’s a man’s term, but you know what I mean.) Success at fighting back puts someone else down and forfeits their trust if not their esteem. Failure at fighting back discredits the initiator in the eyes of those involved or witnesses. The female nature makes women aware of that, and it explains why they naturally prefer to cooperate rather than compete—especially with a man.

Men aren’t like that. Their masculine nature competes to win. A natural offshoot is fear of losing to a weaker opponent. Men avoid losing by either avoiding the fight or making sure they win any scrap with a woman. Consequently, women mostly lose when they fight back against men and thus weaken their ability to find happiness. On the other hand, by patiently outsmarting rather than fighting back, women take the high ground morally, competitively, and consistently, which also elevates their sense of self-worth.

Self-worth is the accumulation of the beneficial values embedded within a woman’s self-esteem, -love, -image, -interest, and -respect plus the love of a supreme being as faithfully claimed by her. A vital ingredient for female happiness, self-worth carries the most beneficial influence. It empowers her to forgive both herself and others for mistakes, failures, and transgressions. Self-worth also confirms the rightness of her causes.

The higher one’s sense of self-worth, the easier it is to forgive. The easier to forgive, the easier it is to forget. The easier to forget, the easier it is to avoid fighting back (especially squabbles with her man). The easier to avoid fighting back, the easier it is to appreciate and feel grateful for oneself. With those accomplishments, the road toward happiness loses much of its restraining friction and progress more easily expands her sense of self-worth. As self-worth improves, her sense of self-importance grows alongside her increasing happiness. As if guided by outside forces, the female psyche continually works around that cause-and-effect loop by making everyday choices.

It’s a closed loop totally under the control of each woman. As she makes choices beneficial to her self-interest, happiness accumulates within her heart. As she makes poorer choices and fails to improve her self-worth as she moves from cause to effect in everyday life, then happiness generally eludes her. If she has no loving supreme being to reinforce her self-worth whenever she needs help, she further weakens her pursuit of happiness.

By always trying to affirm her self-worth and learning to forgive herself for mistakes and failures, she tends to forget the past. A past forgotten except for happy memories strengthens her future and pursuit of happiness.

‘Happy’ is a natural endowment for females. If she doesn’t naturally gravitate toward it, she’s making poor choices in her physical, mental, and spiritual life. If she chooses to blame others, she surrenders her ability and influence for using the greatest power given to mankind—the power to forgive.

The series continues soon with mile 3 of the female road to happiness. It’s all about how wives find appreciation and gratefulness in husbands (and sons) and convert it into husband’s respect for wife and consequent marital happiness.


Filed under sex differences

3 responses to “1811. Sex Difference Redux—Part 61: Female Happiness—Mile 2c Spiritual

  1. Linda

    I’m so grateful for these insights, Your Handsomeness, and I am loving this journey down the happiness road.

  2. I cannot see the link between high self worth and increased ability for forgiveness.

    Your Highness Dawn,

    If self-worth is high in a person, most or all of the following describe the increased tendency they have to forgive easily and honestly. They like themselves as a person and are often eager to help others feel good. They at least love themselves well enough to love someone else, and it makes them feel good about expressing it. They imagine themselves as friendly and eager to serve someone in need. Their interest easily spreads to include others with similar interests, and so empathy comes easily to them. Others trust them, and it encourages them to look for and spread sympathy when they see a need. Such women may not always be eager, but they have far fewer restrictions to forgive others.

    Over and above that, some women have figured out that spreading the greatest individual power on earth— forgiveness—promotes the interests of females and children more than any other single influence within the power of females.

    OTOH, if self-worth is low in a person, they are so self-centered that the willingness to see the need in others and the motivation to gently spread good feelings escapes them. No bad intentions are necessary for them to avoid forgiving someone, just the lack of appreciating themselves enough to grant to others anything beyond what they possess.


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