The fourth mile starts here. It’s but a bridge to the rest of the road to female happiness that extends forever.
I have a favorite way, so before someone asks, I shall describe a unique way to show admiration for husband and other men every day. He opens the door for her, seats her in restaurants, washes some dishes, washes her car, prays at restaurant table, holds her hand walking, puts gas in her car, hauls out the trash, runs an errand, surprises her with an unexpected date or treat, or pleases her in even the simplest way. When her female nature wants to react with a ‘thank you’, she can instead respond with, ‘Men are never more handsome than when they wash the dishes (or whatever) to please their lady’. Such admiration made standard and habitual keeps a man’s interest turned toward his woman. What should he do to earn another reminder of his handsomeness (however uniquely he may defend an unattractive feature or two)? It also keeps her heart reminded that gratitude drives out blame and faultfinding. (Nature makes the reverse much easier.)
Both parties benefit even after her admiring responses become routine and perhaps boring to both. Even after the umpteenth time, the sound of the terms handsome and lady are still reinforced in their respective hearts. It programs their subconscious with pleasurable sounds that register repeatedly, and their respective minds proceed to move them toward becoming whatever those terms mean to them. She becomes more of a lady, or at least more conscious of wanting to be ladylike. He becomes more interested in looking handsome and pleasing his woman, which gently nudges him to be more gentlemanly, which nudges her to be more ladylike.
Moreover, he’s subtly reminded of the admiration of his woman’s sound judgment (aka lady) who seems to be right every time he does something that pleases her. Therefore, he can make her more valuable to him by just pleasing her. (WADWMUFGAO*)
The common and every day ‘Thank you’ means little when dealing with husband. Men consider many tasks as duty at which self-thanks arise and wife’s appreciation goes unearned. ‘Thanks for hauling out the trash’ sounds good to wife, but after a few times he likely ignores it and it never reaches husband’s heart. However, admiration is always welcome for personal features that are not accomplishments. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, handsome is as handsome does. Lady is as lady does. Wife can encourage both by admiring husband for gentlemanly behavior.
The wife can vary the message. Alternatives might include: ‘My hunk’s never more handsome (or gentlemanly gracious) than when he…for his lady’. Or, ‘My favorite hunk’s never hunkier than when…for his lady’. Or, ‘My favorite husband gets more favored every time he puts himself out for his lady’. (Using third person provides indirectness that favors women.)
I expect that modern women will cry foul at having to say something so far out of main stream society. I can’t blame them for not wanting to appear different from other women. But, these four points may help, if they want to invest in keeping their man around for a long time:
- She can introduce the practice when they see a couple walking and holding hands or praying over food in a restaurant. She can say it about such unknown men a few times before claiming husband is never more handsome etc.
- Women compete for men and to keep captured ones close. Frequently feeding husband’s heart with admiring claims helps close the A.D.D gap. (Defined at #1755.)
- Indirectly calling husband handsome and directly calling wife a lady both affirm and reaffirm that each respects and appreciates the other. Repetition breeds conviction. The wife instigates it for one simple reason: It promotes her self-interest to have a mate that looks and acts good, reminds her regularly that he likes pleasing her, and reminds himself regularly that she is pleased when treated with respect due a lady.
- Uplifting her spirit with more gratefulness and strengthening his spirit for pleasing and doing things right in her eyes, they both become more likeable even when jesting becomes part of the ‘ritual’ of admiring him. Likeability strongly endorses her as good for him. Mutual likeability helps seal compatibility and prolong marital longevity.
As I’ve tried to show, female happiness flows out of a wife’s ability, intention, and success at admiring her husband such that he responds by appreciating and respecting her. It’s no guarantee to seal a marriage. Among the little things that can add likeability to both spouses, few simple and affirming acts and words are more influential than ‘Men are never more handsome….’.
* WADWMUFGAO, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves.