1814. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 77


  1. Women have many ways they determine when a man is old. Men admit old age only when they can’t take yes for an answer.
  2. Women need to be viewed as important, so they seek to satisfy the need of others. Men need to be admired, so they seek to satisfy themselves.
  3. God provides females with self-love, but there’s a catch. He also infuses their nature with responsibility to spread His love for everyone’s right to life. Women who let life weaken their self-love lose interest in the sanctity of life.
  4. Not a quote but the thought comes from Dennis Prager: You will be happier earning $30,000 than being given $60,000. If your child at age 13 knows and believes it to be true, he or she will skate through life with happiness coming much easier.
  5. Happiness must be earned in the process of living; it can neither be given nor held up as an achievement.
  6. That parent parents best who nurtures children very well during the ‘weans’ before first grade, leads children with admiration in the tweens before puberty, and coaches them in the teens. Why? Because God, Nature, and hormones convince children that they deserve respect as a person in the ‘weans’, respect as boy or girl in the tweens, and respect as an adult in the teens. Every diminishment of respect weakens parental effectiveness and children’s appreciation of parents, and the later in life the worse the effect.
  7. If wives hold themselves up as paragons of responsibility, effectiveness, intelligence, enlightenment, rightness, and heroic domestic endeavors, the competitive spirit drives husbands to be different. They take the easier way and work less hard and less diligently on behalf of others. As wives then see them, husbands are less responsible and weaker instead of better and stronger. Consequently, wives and children don’t benefit from womanly claims of superiority. It’s not the actuality either, which can easily be real when women follow their nature; it’s just the consequence of the claim on the male mind. Men strive to ‘rescue’ women and avoid or refuse to compete with them.

6 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

6 responses to “1814. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 77

  1. Dear Sir Guy,

    What is the right way to ask a man for help?

    i have had the tendency to try to show I can manage, especially when I can’t. I don’t want to look foolish or seem a burden. I was an unwanted child. I am afraid to seem needy.

    There have been times when he really could have helped me and I was afraid, ignorant of how to ask (we are not married, they is no sexual relationship, you could call it serious courtship at this stage). Later he found out what I needed help with then seemed to feel bad. What do I do?

    I am basing my request for further help on your sentence:

    “Men strive to ‘rescue’ women and avoid or refuse to compete with them.”

    When I have let him help me, I have seen a happy, smiling man. I know you are right. But I am awkward doing this. Please help. Thank you.

    Your Highness An Avid…Lady,
    You might try this. Look at him steadily and smilingly until he asks what’s the matter. Then, you say something like this: I admire your handiness and appreciate your readiness to help me, but I never know how to ask.
    Guy

    • Dear Sir Guy,

      GOD BLESS YOU AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

      I am going to save the wording. If i can’t center myself well enough in person to use those exact words I’ll do the best I can in person and save the exact words for him for a nice email to make sure he can hear the appreciation I have for him. I even felt better just reading it to myself. It is also such a gracious turn of the phrase to say “but I never know how to ask.” THAT IS EXACTLY MY PROBLEM! Your phrasing is very clear and humble. It will help a great deal. THANK YOU!

      An Avid Follower And A Lady

  2. Lin

    Sir Guy,

    Point seven is simply genius. I have seen the scenario you describe played out by my parents. So, so true!

    If I do get married again, point seven, will be foremost in my mind.

    Thanks so much!

  3. Anne

    If indirect means are not working, and a lady is faced with going it alone (in terms of housework, etc.) do you recommend directly asking for help? What comes to mind is that I would like my husband to mow the lawn (we live in the south and the time has come for this!) I tried to communicate this indirectly by fixing up everything *else* in the yard (flower beds, bird feeders, etc.) for spring. But I wonder if my energeticness in doing all this has taken the spunk out of his desire to mow. At any rate, he has not even mentioned mowing. I feel I will either have to do it myself or just flat-out ask directly. #7 seems to suggest I should NOT do it myself… but then should I ask him directly??

    Your Highness Anne,

    I suspect you may expect too much from your signals. There’s more to consider and you have to figure it out. If and when you say it HAS to be mowed, he takes it as an order and will likely respond as he does to all of your orders.

    It depends on many things. Do you own a mower? Has he done it routinely before? Has your spring prep been done such that he’s offended? Can you afford a lawn mowing company or a neighborhood boy? If yes, why haven’t you? His objection at spending on something he can do? How’s his workload? Is he overburdened? Have the neighbors started to mow yet? Are yard differences obvious? Why not let it grow until he sees the need to mow?

    Keep this in mind: If you mow it yourself, expect one of two outcomes. He will expect you to do it forever. Or, he will be offended and accuse you lierally or figuratively of not asking. It all boils down to this: You have to figure out what’s the best thing to do.

    All of the above is predicated on the male nature and not your husband. Only you can figure out through trial and error what it takes for him to please you.

    Guy

  4. Anne

    Sir Guy, many thanks! I appreciate the whole response, but in particular the questions you posed. It made me realize that our yard looks like everyone else’s yard in the neighborhood, that no one else is mowing yet, and that I am actually ahead of the game having put out flowers at all yet. I guess I’m over-eager to jump into spring! As for the general principle behind all this, I suppose I have expected my “signals” are enough on their own & have forgotten that he is getting “signals” from elsewhere, too (such as ALL the other neighbors’ un-mowed yards that still look wintery!)

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