The sexes are alike in that selfish is a natural trait. It’s the tiny part of self-interest that insists we get our way at particular decision-making moments. We learn during childhood to either restrict or hide it in order to get along with others. An independent, one-person instinctive habit, we carry selfish for life.
Regarding devotion, the sexes are very different. The ability is natural to devote ourselves to someone or some idea, concept, or task. Women primarily devote themselves to persons of extreme interest. Men primarily devote themselves to concepts and things they want to achieve and secondarily to persons for whom they have inordinately high respect, trust, and esteem.
For the remainder of this subject, let’s set aside mothers’ devotion to children and the males’ tendency to prioritize achievement over relationships. Surprisingly women and men devote themselves in similar fashion. A woman seeks a brighter future and devotes herself to the man perceived as having great promise to provide it. A man seeks a brighter present-day life and devotes himself to the woman with unquestionably the greatest promise to provide it. Men screen far more deliberately and thoroughly than women. Women perceive promise in someone much more easily than men, unfortunately often prompted by eagerness more than adroitness.
Whichever behavior dominates the relationship moment smothers the other. When acts of selfishness emerge, devotion hides. Mutual devotion tends to minimize selfish interference in relationship affairs.
Women are naturally attuned to distinguish selfish acts from devoted ones. They see this; more selfishness means less devotion and vice versa. Even though both sexes understand how one excludes the other, women are reluctant to use it. Men on the prowl aren’t. They know that flashes of selfishness can obstruct their path to both the bed and altar. Husbands aren’t; they trust wife’s devotion to forgive explosions of selfishness.
Their natures are well-matched for compatibility as male-female couples. A woman easily devotes herself to the man of her choice. A man easily devotes himself to his job or accomplishing things. He has to be taught to devote himself to a woman. Frequent flashes of his selfishness raise questions about his devotion, however well he proclaims it.