1832. Sex Difference Redux—Part 80: Conquering Men I


Three obstructions continuously challenge the female gender and threaten every woman that seeks happiness with a man. This is another tough subject to make clear, and I anticipate daily articles built on these themes.

I — How to use rather than slave under his major strength—male dominance!

II — How to minimize the effect when wife convinces herself that husband loves his job more than her!

III — How to neutralize a man’s natural urge to conquer sexually attractive females that he’s not yet conquered.

Male dominance in men parallels the importance of sexual assets in women. Self-protection is vital. Just as diligently as women protect their greatest asset against unwilling intrusion, men protect and preserve their greatest asset against women. Women can be directly persuaded to yield. The stubborn streak that permeates the male ego and will doesn’t weaken except under the charming and indirect pressures of a woman to whom a man has become devoted.

Women inherit the burden to convert their man’s resolute dominant attitude into a blessing for home and family. They have three options: fight it, accept it, or use it. Those who fight it encourage emotional firestorms that breed incompatibility. Women who accept a man’s dominance without counter pressures are soon ‘rooster-pecked’. Women who make productive use of it promote compatibility and harmony in the home.

Men conquer women when couples have sex the first time. It’s a significant event, a self-admiring accomplishment for men. On the other hand, women have two opportunities to conquer men. First, they get a man to the altar before yielding sex. Those that do have little need for the second; they have for the most part already learned to handle and live amicably with his dominance. Second, they learn to rule the rooster while deliberately claiming and apparently yielding to him the role of ruling the roost. Her conquest is a delicate process sustained such that it enables her to keep the rooster dedicated to brightening their future and fulfilling her hopes and dreams.

You ladies are endowed with relationship expertise that enables you to figure it out for yourselves. Experts can outsmart non-experts. If you get your man devoted to you and to the altar without yielding sex, you effectively contain his dominance within acceptable boundaries. Failing that, you are sufficiently endowed to outsmart him in negotiated settlements. You have abilities and incentives to match, negotiate, and satisfy mutual interests such that he sees no need to impose his will on you or others.

Perception is everything, so whatever appears to be, is. Success follows trying to make all issues favorable to him, us, or children—but not you. The more apparent to him that you want to get your way, the more likely you lose. The more apparent his interests are protected first, the easier for you to use his major strength. The toughest part is making his interests broaden to encompass your wifely and motherly interests.

When experts first learn to sell someone on an idea, they find within themselves underdeveloped resources worthy of being exploited. Women possess a natural and immense array of resources that tame male aggressiveness and dominance. Feminine mystique, female modesty, monogamous fidelity, marital charm, pleasant likeability, unexplainable patience, attitude of gratitude, smiles that signify admiration, and eagerness to appreciate, respect, and admire their man. God, Nature, and hormones more than adequately prepare them for whatever the task to deal successfully with men.

Love isn’t a major player on the field of dominance. Generally, the more respected and likeable she appears in his eyes, the less inclined he becomes to impose his will and perhaps offend. Thus, his view of her promise as good for him reduces his need to be dominant.

As one would expect, her pushiness and nagging produce effects opposite of those she intends. Both habits spur and energize a man’s natural urge to escape her permanently while he temporarily acquiesces to her pushiness and nagging.

Women have no rules to follow or guidebook to study. It’s too uniquely interpersonal, so she has to figure it out and do it herself. She has only her instinctive beliefs plus what she can learn about men. Many listings in the CONTENTS page are relevant and useful.

In the grand scheme of life, few things are more vital to a woman’s happiness than gratefully taming male dominance to fulfill her hopes and dreams

Next: Theme II follows at post 1833 and III at 1834.

7 Comments

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7 responses to “1832. Sex Difference Redux—Part 80: Conquering Men I

  1. Emma

    Mr Guy,

    Would you explain what you mean by a man also protects his greatest asset? & what are a guys greatest assets?

    Also sorry as I am unfamiliar with the term rooster pecked, what does this mean in your post?
    Thank you for your answers –

    Your Highness Emma,
    Male dominance is a man’s greatest asset. Wasn’t that clear?
    Rooster-pecked is the opposite of hen-pecked.
    Guy

  2. Krysie869

    Let me see if I get this right. A man who uses male dominance against a woman is not that into her and a man who does not use his male dominance when interacting with a woman likes her as a person? What does it mean if a man does not use his male dominance to a women to whom he is not yet devoted? Should a woman view him as potential as being Mr. Good Enough?

    Your Highness Krysie869,
    Generally, yes, that’s pretty much how it works. But, I caution you. Yours are sweeping generalities and I wouldn’t recommend depending on them as accurate in personal situations. Other things play more important roles.
    Guy

    • Krysie869

      What other things play important roles? Normally if a guy is persistent in his male dominance, there is a tendency for me to fall back and put him in the parade because I feel as though our personality clashes too much. Other times, men won’t be as dominant but I get a feeling that they want me to pursue them. Is this what you meant by being cautious?

      Your Highness Krysie869,

      No, never pursue any guy. You’ll lose him sooner or later, mostly because you lose rather than earn his respect (and his love is founded on respect).

      Your personalities should by nature clash over dominance and the follow-on of submission. It isn’t natural for you to be totally dominated or to just submit because the Bible tells you to. God knows you need to be guided to do what goes against your nature (according to Emerson Eggerichs), but He also gives you other options. For example, you have free will in God’s eyes just as men do.

      It’s your opportunity to gain the upper hand when a man signals that he expects you to pursue him. Opportunity? How? By purposely dismissing him to show how unworthy he is of you. If he’s only after sex, he will forget you. If he values you higher than sex with you, he will accept it as challenge and pursue you. Throwing him under the bus is the on-off switch that advises you of a guy’s intentions.

      Guy

      • Krysie869

        Thanks Sir Guy! I do good by not pursuing men. If I do approach men, it is usually to ask a question or say “Hi”. The problem I have is that over 90% of men who appear interested in me would just stare blankly at me when I speak or say something or not pursue me like they do other girls. I am waiting my turn patiently, although it can be frustrating.

        Your Highness Krysie869,

        Keep trying, darling. You may find some help with these suggestions. Make yourself routinely more femininely attractive. Think habitually in those terms. The way to learn how is to spend more time in front of the mirror studying yourself and figuring what does and doesn’t work. Try new things and forgive yourself if it fails. Do the same when initiating or responding verbally. You can figure it out by learning to figure out how you fit in the world.

        I’m not trying to dodge. But without more details about guys’ reaction rather than how you describe them, I don’t know how to be more detailed.

        Guy

        • Krysie869

          Thank you so much for your advice! Although I honestly don’t think it’s my appearance per-se because I dress feminine for the most part and wear make-up. My guess is that it may be my personality and then I stop myself since it seems that I am not preferred regardless. I consider myself a little awkward and quiet, but mostly mysterious. I have been called “mature”, “shy”, “quiet”, “weird”, and “smart” by men and women. Maybe I seem like a pushover or arrogant to some because of my independence. Is it because I am mostly by myself? But, I smile for the most part but that isn’t enough! It appears most women don’t have to do anything to be pursued by men and I have to do everything! Some men approach and start conversation but it is usually homeless men or those who seem mentally ill! I have never been asked out on a date ever or have never been asked for my phone number! The men I want to approach me never do– they either play hard to get, guilt me, criticize me, or look awkward! However I just don’t understand how most women seem to just smile (and they do nothing but stand there) and get approached by men they have never met or barely met and he asks her out and when I do the same thing nothing happens! I read somewhere that when this happens it is because I am not attractive enough. But I think I look good! Sorry for the rant. But thank you nonetheless this blog is an eye opener to me and I will test and try the advice you gave me! God bless!

          Your Highness Krysie869,

          If you don’t have girlfriend, develop a friendship and move around the public with her. Let her observe you. She will be able to help identify it if you’re doing something that just doesn’t jell in your interactions with men.

          Let this principle percolate in your heart, mind, and mirror. A man’s first attraction is a woman’s appearance, both sexual and physical attractiveness. So, his interest starts there. His second decision-making prompt comes from what he hears out of her that could possibly make her likeable to him. A trusted girlfriend is the best reviewer of how you can be graded on those matters. Men can’t be depended on (unless perhaps a brother or close cousin or maybe even grandpa) to tell you the truth, but a good friend will do it. I know it’s a paradox, but the girlfriend should be better looking than you for two reasons. She has a better track record and she won’t feel threatened that you will become her competition.

          May God bless your priceless endeavors to make of yourself a better woman. That’s what it takes to capture a better man. No promises even then, but even less promise without it given how you report your experience. Go to it, gal, your world is capture-able, which means at least one guy is too.

          Guy

          • Krysie869

            “His second decision-making prompt comes from what he hears out of her that could possibly make her like able to him”. Interesting you say this. Can you give examples? There is a guy I admire who I know smiles to himself when he sees me. He approached me once, but my sister clock blocked me from him and started chatting to him. He is very friendly and always waves to me if I make eye contact with him. I think he senses how I respect him indirectly. But it is a very cordial situation at this point. His behavior is different than most men I encounter. And as soon as I saw him, he had an “aura”. Unlike most men, he neither gives a mean look or blank stare. I automatically assume it is because I behave different than most women why these different reactions exist from men. I know I have to develop confidence, since I am awkward in social situations. Maybe that is a factor. Thanks again!


            Your Highness Krysie869,

            She responds to his initiative:

            “I wondered if you’d ever speak to me.” She sounds pleased with his attention and it makes her likeable.

            “You know, of course, I’m not like my girlfriends. Boldness doesn’t impress me.” That kind of makes her unlikeable at the start.

            Both examples seem extremely simplistic and out of date. Perhaps a reader can imagine better examples.

            Generally, anything you say to slow or discourage him works against you. When he goes too far for you, he expects to be rebuffed. To rebuff before he thinks he earns it is to make yourself appear unlikeable.

            Guy

            • Cinnamon

              Krysie,

              I was a lot like you when younger in that I rarely got approached, and was not great socially (introverted for one). I will never be a social butterfly like a lot of women, I am too serious and high on the sensitivity scale, but I realised (much later than I should have) that I don’t need to be. It didn’t help me to compare myself to others, but what did help was studying Sir Guy’s teachings, improving myself as best I could, and realising I only was looking for one man anyway, not high volumes. The man you mention sounds promising:

              This article may be helpful:

              http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/how-to-make-yourself-approachable.html

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