1837. Advice to Women: Look for Character


Would it surprise you that character determines one’s destiny? Men with high-quality character are destined for a high-quality life. Women need a brighter future, so why don’t they put more value on each man’s character? How can women find a brighter future with a man than by latching onto one with the character sufficiently responsible to polish and shine their destiny together? I know women look for it, but many too easily or desperately rationalize and settle for something less.

Modern women accept whatever character Mr. GoodEnough displays. Men find it unnecessary to develop and display a responsible character in order to earn the admiration of females. As a result, the character of both sexes declines in quality and their lives follow suit.

Women initiate the self-fulfilling prophecy. They blame men for making society unfriendly for females and they get exactly that. Men accept cheap and easy sex as compensation. It enables Feminism to march on unencumbered by common sense and well-reasoned thought based on both the true nature and integrity of men and women.

Women today choose a man based on the imagined hope their female loving hearts disclose. Foolishly hoping that love conquers all, mostly hers with a smidgen of his, women slip and slide down rather than enable themselves to climb the relationship slope.

It boils down to this. As the character of women goes, so goes the character of men. Consequently, the cure for both womanly and manly ills lies within women. Need I point out that female character grows strong, determined, and more respectable when wrapped confidently in a moral code based on a Supreme Being rather than Man? Or, that females profit much more than men from the good in people and the lack of bad and evil? Or, that Judaism, Christianity, and our Judeo-Christian cultural values persuade people to become better people than whatever goodness already fills their hearts?

The most fundamental primal need of women is for a brighter future. If female destiny lies in the character of men and that lies in the character of women, why do women not promote and perpetuate beneficial relationship values? For example: High quality manliness flows from character. Her love depends on his integrity. Personal responsibility earns marriage, which earns sex. A demonstrated sense of domestic responsibility earns the privilege of fathering children. A brighter future and destiny awaits women that upgrade their expectations.

In writing WhatWomenNeverHear, not enough attention has been paid to character and its role in fulfilling womanly hopes and dreams. Perhaps that which appears above is but a start. I continue to believe and confirm to myself almost every day that women are the dominant value setters and female values are the backbone of the traditional and unique American version of Western civilization.

Modern women need to pay more attention to the character quality of the men they consider Mr. GoodEnough. Their future will brighten by merging female hopes and dreams with a man eligible by virtue of his character to wend his way to a brighter destiny.

14 Comments

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14 responses to “1837. Advice to Women: Look for Character

  1. Anon

    Sir Guy, I have been following your words of wisdom for some time now but have not made contact with you. I am a christian leader who only this week felt that I was at the bottom of a scree slope with so much to learn about relationships. Would the effort be worthwhile? How high was the slope?! Thank you for understanding that some of us need to “climb the relationship slope”, thank you for your words of wisdom, thank you.

    Your Highness Anon,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    I suggest you first study articles 1747 through 1759. Those are the foundations for most everything else. Then, scroll through the CONTENTS page to find items of interest. I think your effort will prove to be exponentially worthwhile.

    Guy

  2. High Hard One

    I respectfully disagree with your premise. I see women not settling for Mr. good enough at all. Rather I see women latching onto whichever man:
    #1 is greater than 6 feet tall.
    #2 is socially dominant or of sufficient social standing (is rich, or is a fireman, policeman, or is CEO of a business, or plays in a rock band, etc)
    #3 is able to verbally and physically drive the interaction w/ said woman towards a sexual direction.

    Perhaps item #2 I list is a proxy for good character. But not always.

    Just as men gravitate towards beauty, females seem to gravitate towards the leader who is able to get them in bed.

    I am not 6′ tall. The 6 footers get noticed way more often than I. But I have always had good character and been a benevolent person with solid career goals and direction. But good character counted for very little. I was invisible to women.

    It was only after I threw all caution to the wind and became that guy who flirted constantly and pushed for sex early that females would even acknowledge my existence. I now find getting female attention laughably easy. And yet I was a better person before I learned to flirt. I was certainly ready to commit back then.

    I am not at all angry or hurt. I merely see female behavior and act in a way that gets me what I want. I just have to laugh at all the women who moan and wail that they just cannot find a good man these days. Good men are everywhere. These women just can’t be bothered to look beyond the superficial to discover them.

    Sir High Hard One,
    I agree with you except when you say you disagree with my premise. You confirm that women tie up with men for every conceivable reason except character.
    Guy

    • High Hard One

      I stand corrected. My disagreement was with your statement that women settle for men of good enough character. My contention is that character is so far down the list of what women look for, that it’s not even a minor factor. With only a little exaggeration, character comes right after “does he recycle” on the list of important things.

      Sir High Hard One,
      Your last sentence spikes your touchdown.
      Guy

  3. Emma

    Mr. Guy,

    Character those matter very much… Maybe not in the first few dates, but once you are qualified as dateable – and the girl do see you as potential mate she will begin to assess the character and values. Those things are usually not discussed but observed.

    Your last two post about character and advice to man couldn’t be better for me at this moment. I recently had a discussion with hubby about certain promises he made awhile back (discussion turned to more like a debate, them disagreement). Issue at hand; those promises weren’t delivered. I questioned and he felt that I didn’t respect him enough so he gave me the ” I don’t care what you say, oh and by the way, I will give you something to complain about”. So his male dominance took place and he took away a few of my privileges. Not what I intended, but I am trying to understand here what went wrong and how come I feel that he has pushed my boundaries, specially by not delivering what he promised. It’s almost as be is punishing me for even questioning him, yet how can one hold one accountable for things that aren’t delivered. I certainly don’t want to be one that is walked upon.. My question is how does one stand up for what is right?

    Your Highness Emma,

    His reaction suggests to me that the initial discussion hit him competitively, such as making him feel guilty, accusing him of failure, or otherwise stimulating him to fight back. He reacted as men naturally do when challenged about the value of his achievements. You touched on or triggered his greatest fear, that of insignificance, and he responded defensively with every intention of not losing the battle that you initiated with your approach.

    You may be grateful for him but you seem to show the opposite. These quotes suggest it:
    • “he felt that I didn’t respect him enough….” Your gratitude for him was reduced by his unfilled promises.
    • “Issue at hand….” And you felt burdened to resolve it.
    • “understand here what went wrong….” IOW, you expect him to explain his failure as you define the situation.
    • “yet how can one hold one accountable for things that aren’t delivered.” IOW you are willing to fight until you find out by making him answer for failure.
    • “I certainly don’t want to be one that is walked upon.” IOW your guard is up and you’re ready to fight back.
    • “My question is how does one stand up for what is right?” IOW you intend to take the competition to whatever length you must take it to get answers.

    Speaking strictly of the nature of men and women, he acted pretty natural. The result was disharmony and you took offense. It suggests that you acted more feminist than feminine. Remember, I interpret totally from what you wrote:
    • You can’t fish for male empathy by finger pointing.
    • A woman’s impatience about a man doing what she thinks he should do makes him dig in his heels. As long as she applies pressure, he looks for ways to relieve the pressure without actually doing what she wants. If he does as she wishes, he resents her for insisting that he betray himself. Men won’t work well under female orders, but they work diligently to please a woman.
    • Masculine hubris drives men to do their duty and fulfill promises on their own time, schedule, or convenience. They have so much to do, and multitasking isn’t their forte.
    • Men don’t compete with their woman for fear of losing. So, they use dominance to end the battle before they can lose.
    • In successful relationships, the woman specializes in cooperation and avoids competing with her man. The former shows gratefulness for him and the latter shows a lack of it.

    If you hope to recover, shift your emphasis from what he doesn’t do to your liking. Teach yourself to find gratitude in yourself, him, and everything else in your relationship. Let him worry about his unfilled promises. If ever a little guilt settles in his conscience without you ever mentioning the promises again, he will do something to relieve the guilt and it could be deliverance on the promises.

    Good luck figuring out how to proceed.

    Guy

    • High Hard One

      This is spot on Guy. Don’t feel bad Emma. Doing what guy suggests is simple in concept, but very difficult to do. If you do this right, your marriage will be heaven for you and hubby. I gotta show this to my dear wifey.

    • Emma

      Mr Guy,

      You are so right, he did responded offended and his nature took over. My argument was more competitive and I may have tried to handle the situation rather than ask.. It’s a learning process.

      In regards to this his male dominance and my need to feel important and not be dismissed in issues that pertain our home, what can the wife do when hubby reacts negative and enforces his male dominance: ie silent treatment, taking things away or just ignores the wife? How can one deal with such situation? My main concern is that he probably lacks the respect for me to follow through with his promises. He knows how to manipulate me and has made many attempts to restore peace when convinient to him but his words of promises lack in action. Hence, why I reacted. I need to restore my independent spirit and not let him maneuver me when he wants, but this is hard for me as I truly don’t know how to do this… I do not want to be taken for granted or manipulated anymore. It’s been awhile since I posted about this (December).

      PS whenever he senses that I am withdrawing for no obvious reason to him he tries to butter me up. He also wants to talk – but then it goes to the wasteside as I give in. maybe I have forgiven him too many times or are not too much of a confrontational person when he goes on the silent treatment (as I do the same).

      Many thanks for your advice –

  4. thetruth01

    Amazing, amazing, amazing!!! This post was simply beautiful and I couldn’t agree more.

  5. Olivia

    “Modern women need to pay more attention to the character quality of the men they consider Mr. GoodEnough”
    Guy, what are some character traits you believe are in a Mr good enough or woman should be looking/paying attention in a man they consider a Mr good enough?

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Olivia,

      Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

      Character traits for a Mr. Good Enough? Start with these: Integrity, honesty, straightforward, individualistic, masculine almost to a fault, respectable, neither reveals nor conceals his mistakes, able to live within himself, boldly accepts challenges, God-centered, accepts responsibility as challenge, leaves no duty undone, fiscally responsible, strong work ethic, persuasively pleasant, respectful of the female sex, punctual, and full of self-respect.

      Guy

      • Olivia

        Thank you Guy, I saw a movie over the weekend and grandma in the movie said something to the couple that are going to get married. She wanted to know how he proposed to her. She said “How a man propose says a lot about his character”. I never thought of that before. What are thoughts about this Guy?

        Your Highness Olivia,
        Yes, and about his devotion, sincerity, eagerness, and belief in ‘us’.
        Guy

  6. Kubra

    Sir Guy,

    I seem to be stuck in the loop of oversensitivity when it comes to men and how they act around me, whether they are intentional or subconscious acts. This has happened countless times and I don’t know how to deal. Yet another incident has happened again with someone showing clear interest in me. He asks to hang out a lot and compliements me, and I reciprocate. But then there’s always a period where he stops messaging me, stops asking to hang out, etc. And I rip myself into shreds when that happens. I know it’s time to let go again. All I want to know is why this happens. I feel I might be doing something that intimidates him…but I’m not so sure.

    Your Highness Kubra,

    No, most likely you’re doing too much. So excited at his attention that you’re chasing him —as he sees it, which takes away his interest in the chase.

    Back off. Make him do all the work, pay all the attention. He acts, you only react.

    See where that gets you. Incidentally, it’s very common among women. Players take advantage. Other men do what yours has done.

    Guy

    • Kubra

      Sir Guy,

      Does this mean I should completely ignore his messages and turn down hanging out with him if he asks? Wouldn’t that just turn him off completely? What is the cut off point for this?

      Your Highness Kubra,

      No, don’t ignore him. Just let him initiate. Only respond to his messages, stay on the subjects he opens. Hang out but only the way he invites. Cut off point is your call to see how he will delve into getting to know you better rather than fishing for ways to get you into bed.

      At this point you don’t know enough about what he’s after. Two conquerors face off. One wants sex without obligation. The other wants marriage without giving away the store. You don’t have enough info yet to open your heart and disclose what he may be after. You want his respect to grow and it will slow if you reveal yourself too much and stop growing if you yield sex.

      Guy

  7. Cinnamon

    Kubra,

    He is exhibiting classic Vague and Unavailable behaviour, the objective of which is to wreck your head and put you into the role of the seller, and from what you say he is succeeding (and as Sir Guy says, this is very common–remember, women take on self-inflicted guilt quite willingly). I recommend you reread Sir Guy’s series on Vague and Unavailable, including the comments.

    The only way to deal with Mr V & U is to (1) recognise V & U behaviour, (2) put Mr V & U back in the parade and (3) set your sights on a man who doesn’t exhibit V & U behaviours. As Sir Guy says, your job is to put obstacles in his way (nicely, of course) and his job is to overcome those obstacles. Blowing hot and cold and overcoming obstacles are mutually exclusive. I say it again – PUT HIM BACK IN THE PARADE!

    Believe me, the “cure” for your oversensitivity is to find a Mr Goodenough who is so keen on you that he will very willingly overcome those obstacles. When a man is on his best behaviour over the long-term he will NOT engage in V & U behaviours, which are the trigger in the first place for your oversensitivity.

  8. Kubra

    Sir Guy,

    What is the proper way to think and act when you are presented with a situation in which the guy you are interested in proceeds to talk about other women in front of you, in an attempt to make you jealous? And I know it’s not just him doing his thing. I know he is also interested in me, so I don’t know what to do or say. It really hurts me even though I try to convince myself that it’s just harmless banter from him. But then again, is it really harmless? What are you thoughts on this?

    Your Highness Kubra,

    Figuratively, not literally, kick him in the groin. Two ways: 1) Next time, say nothing and depart his company. 2) If you can’t depart, firmly inform him that you have no use for a man who speaks of other women, period. (What will he say about you to others?)

    The kinder you try to be, the worse results you will get.

    Guy

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