1849. Sex Difference Redux—Part 91: Where Love Begins—07

Enduring love begins with your knowledge of men generally, your man particularly, and yourself intrinsically. It should follow romantic love that begins in your ears and his eyes, but which only lasts a year or two. This post cites ten more sex differences that you should balance in order for romantic love to morph into the enduring love that lasts a lifetime.

61. If your man sours on his marriage, past or present, he turns against marriage. If you sour on your marriage, past or present, you turn against men.

62. Your self-love provides a natural motivation to love other people. Conditions motivate your man; he loves to prove his significance at handling challenges posed by you and others.

63. Your man’s hard-heartedness comes from his primal nature. Your natural soft-heartedness fades, shrinks, and hardens when you continually ‘stand up inside’ in refusal or rejection, anger or rebellion. (Relationship experts, aka women, know how to use their natural soft-heartedness for long range effectiveness that offsets or compensates for their man’s hard-heartedness.)

64. You’re the expert on relationships and the ultimate authority on yielding sex. Your man is the expert on copulating and expects to be the primary authority on leaving or keeping a sex partner.

65. If you don’t need your man more than he needs you, you will tire and find him inadequate.

66. If you talk your man into marriage, it won’t last. Almost the opposite of yours, his devotion is to you instead of marriage. Your talk doesn’t generate it; only his attentive, affirming, and sacrificial actions on your behalf generate his devotion. (Consequently, long platonic courtships give him more time to generate more devotion to you until he finally realizes you’re his target for a lifetime together.

67. You instinctively think in terms of ‘us’ both before and after marriage. Your man instinctively thinks in terms of ‘you and me’ before marriage. If you marry but it wasn’t his idea to begin with, he will have trouble adopting ‘us’ beyond the altar. (You face no tougher task than getting your man convinced that marriage is his idea, is all he ever wanted, and is holy enough to be kept faithful.)

68. Your man’s marital entrapment of you bonds him. Your marital entrapment of him fools him once.

69. You see marriage as a monumental enhancement of life. To your man, it just happens, that is, according to his wishes but under your likeable cheerfulness, inspiration, and direction.

70. Your man is more frank when he speaks. If you offer him what he doesn’t want or can’t use, he will tell you. You, however, accept graciously what you don’t need or can’t use, but you do nothing with it and hope that memories fade away.

Hundreds of sex differences determine the outcomes of your interactions with men and your man. This ends the first 70 differences, but many more follow at ten per post.


Filed under sex differences

2 responses to “1849. Sex Difference Redux—Part 91: Where Love Begins—07

  1. Sis

    ” he loves to prove his significance at handling challenges posed by you and others”
    Well, I guess I need to challenge him more.

    Your Highness Sis,
    You’re a very astute observer. I’m interested in how you convert your thought to action and the results you get.

    • Angela

      Hi there,
      what do you mean by ‘if your man sours on marriage’ ? – can this also apply to ex-girlfriends? ie. a rocky past relationship can turn a man off committing for a while? for for good?

      Your Highness Angela,

      It is the nature of men that disappointment gained by their own actions, e.g., entering the marriage contract, sours them against repeating the action.

      It could apply to ex-girlfriends. Let’s suppose that a man devotes himself deeply to a woman in the belief they are headed for marriage. But then, quite suddenly and almost unbelievably (to him) she dumps him. He’s hurt of course. But, more importantly, his sense of significance and self-admiration take humongous hits. He easily blames her but he looks for his own mistakes. It’s easy to see that his greater regret was thinking about marrying her. Thus, marriage becomes the ‘land mine’ that he should avoid. One woman contaminated the idea and revised his value system.

      As for rocky relationships, the man would likely be much less susceptible to being shockingly surprised. The couple competed back and forth until they decided to break up. Even an abrupt dumping wouldn’t discourage the man from marriage. He may be hurt, he’d likely be much more cautious, but it wouldn’t likely make the overwhelming impression described in the earlier paragraph.


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