1850. Sex Difference Redux—Part 92: Where Love Begins—08

Romantic love begins in your ears and his eyes, but it only lasts a year or two. Enduring love begins with your knowledge of men generally, your man particularly, and yourself intrinsically. This post cites ten more sex differences that you can work at balancing in order to more smoothly make the transition from temporary romantic love to permanent enduring love.

71. You tend to avoid risks and eliminate those you anticipate. Your man accepts risk as challenge. He tends to prefer waiting until he perceives a threat.

72. You want to be romanced for who you are with sex removed as the target. It distinguishes and elevates you above other women. Consequently, you trust the romancer much more when sex is not at stake. Your man knows romance as whatever is required to initiate foreplay or sex.

73. You expect both physical and emotional fidelity but especially the last. Your man requires your physical faithfulness above all else and doesn’t recognize emotional infidelity as unfaithful.

74. If you enshrine yourself with a perfectly maintained nest, you will tire of his nest-keeping inadequacies and soon grow bored with your man. Men that find themselves enshrined at home find it much easier to stay at home.

75. You fight best and work hardest for people you believe in. Your man does it for what he believes in.

76. You view friendship as detached from sex. Your man doesn’t. He engages in ‘pure’ friendship only when a friend is far removed from being his sex target. [Friendship with your man becomes ‘pure’ when sexual relations with him become so rewarding that you’re no longer a sex target. Instead, sexual release is a major factor in satisfying his primal urge of daily preparing for tomorrow’s battles. If you wish sex to be more meaningful, work at it from that natural foundation.]

77. You get upset and cry to release whatever disturbs you. By their own self-protective admission, men don’t get upset. Your man gets frustrated, angry, and shifts into battle mode without shedding tears.

78. You are much less sensitive and more flexible about changing your role or person. Your man resists change to his person and role especially by you after your first sex together.

79. You shape your life around feelings, family, appearance, and relationships. It’s easy to squeeze him in. Your man shapes his life around thinking, substance, actions, and accomplishments. It’s not so easy to squeeze you in.

80. You tend to navigate by landmarks. Your man tends to navigate by directions, maps, and intuition. You can make yourself invaluable by learning to read maps and assisting with directions when he drives. [I advise this: Let him live with his mistakes and your silence when he disregards your map-reading suggestions. It’s time to help him recover and not remind of your perfection. Such events add to your map-reading reliability, so long as you don’t make him look bad. Make driving a cooperative rather than competitive effort, as only you can do, and your worth soars.]

Hundreds of sex differences determine the outcomes of your interactions with men and your man. This ends the first 80 comparisons. Many more follow at ten per post.


Filed under sex differences

6 responses to “1850. Sex Difference Redux—Part 92: Where Love Begins—08

  1. DrLfan

    To all the Ladies….Sir Guy has a wonderful website here and it is helpful. However, I recently took my copy of The Surrendered Wife (author Laura Doyle) off the bookshelf and reread the Chapter “Resist Biting the Bait.”
    It has re/enlightened in a way that is much easier to for me to see that I was engaging instead of just listening and supporting only.
    Written by a woman and tested by other women on their husbands. Yes, it works. I’d just forgotten to say, “Whatever you think.” literally just those words–repeat if necessary and leave it at that. No man wants his wife’s opinion, just an OK to continue as he thinks best…for the good of the family. It’s his job and he is to be left alone to man up to these challenges.
    Other chapters are as easy to understand for follow through. More fleshed out than Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and less of a bash over the head, yet still makes the same points.
    It covers the differences between men and women, and mainly to let go of any control except what is the traditional household duties of wife/mother/woman of the house. To become more womanly and your man will become more manly.
    And yes, ladies…we do not have to offer to look up phone numbers or locate socks, clothes, etc., stuff in the kitchen. He should be able to dress himself and find phone numbers, change out the toilet tissue. Treat him like a competent adult even with the small daily challenges.
    To do otherwise is to behave like his mother…and what woman wants to have sex with a boy. Nor does a man want to have sex with his mother.

  2. Miss A

    Dear Sir Guy,

    How do love and money go together? Are they incompatible? My fiance asked for a prenup five weeks before the wedding. I’m not familiar with the concept and think it’s against marriage. What do you think?

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Miss A,
      I respond with daily post 1852 due out early Monday. I include Lady Lurker’s views.

  3. Lady Lurker

    Miss A,

    I’m not Sir Guy, but if a guy were to ask me for pre-nup, it seems to me be a red flag. Likes already planning his way of escape before the marriage quest even starts! Even though I live in a state were such a thing is common (CA), for some reason I feel that ‘pre-nups’ are like little sneaky ‘back-up’ plans. It’s almost like the man is saying to himself, “Well…if it doesn’t work out or if it stops being ‘fun’ with her at least I won’t suffer much damage and I can easily break up with her.”

    If my (one day) to-be-groom asked for that…I would seriously question his trust and faith in me and our relationship. But then maybe that’s me! I do wonder what Sir Guy will say though! 🙂

    • Miss A

      Lady Lurker,

      It’s a rather sensitive subject, and I’m grateful that Sir Guy will cover it today. Of course my initial reaction is not different from yours. After thinking more about it, I begin to see these legal steps as reflecting our current society/morality more than anything else. And I certainly am not going to turn against my fiance because of it, especially since he is a very loving, prudent, and generous person. It would be a whole different matter if, for example, our society didn’t allow divorce, and one side of the couple decided to initiate a contract to protect himself. But I believe many people today see this legal step as refining/personalising what our society allows in the divorce process, rather than leaving their fate up to the court, in case of such an outcome – which is sadly too common these days.
      Come to think of it, I don’t even understand why divorce is allowed, given that you sign a contract ’till death do you apart. And our society is basically allowing us to backtrack!

      The meaning of marriage of course has also been changed over the centuries. And we seem to live in a society where we as individuals have to redefine meanings to make our own relationships work.

  4. Brown_eyes

    Hola Mr. Guy!
    I have a friend who sleeps with a boy who has a girlfriend. I want her to believe that she can get her own, instead of taking what is not hers, but I don’t know how to encourage her in a positive way and not sound like her mom in the process. I don’t understand why girls prefer to share one boy when there are so many others out there!
    Gracias (:

    Your Highness Brown eyes,

    I suggest you get her to read this blog. If she’s very young, start with the series on DATING. If not so young, study the Virtual Virginity series.

    Tell her that one man says this: If her bed mate is not having sex with his girlfriend, then she’s his long range love interest. The one providing sex may already be a has-been.


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