1855. Sex Difference Redux—Part 94: Where Love Begins—10


Sex differences continue here. They enable you as the relationship expert to morph temporary romantic love into permanent enduring love. The better each sex comparison is balanced to the mutual satisfaction of you and your man, the smoother both the development and quality of enduring love.

91. Your self-confidence emanates from your self-esteem as a person, self-image as a woman, and self-love as a loving partner of someone else. Your man’s self-confidence emanates from his self-respect as both person and man and his picture of who and what he is in his world, aka his self-image.

92. The feminine side of your female nature inspires you to eat to sustain life, i.e., brighten your future. Your man’s masculine side associates eating with his work or job, i.e., brighten his day.

93. The sexual pleasures for you as a woman are far outweighed by the other things you need for a contented and happy life. Your man easily lets sex substitute for whatever shortcomings appear in his search for a contented life which, if he follows his masculine nature, means a life with one woman (so he doesn’t have to hunt continually).

94. You as a woman mostly rely on time for healing while easing your anguish with sympathetic and empathetic friends. Your man’s therapeutic recovery comes primarily from associating with his work or doing something of unique interest to him, by doing something other than nothing.

95. Your sons are turned off by nurturing after they start school, by nagging after that, and by parental dominance after puberty. Your man went through some form of motherly turn-off and you live with the consequences that shape his adult persona with you.

96. Your daughters face boys who are tamed by girls doing what mothers can’t get away with. Girls nag at boys until they step up to high feminine expectations both for themselves and for boys. Girls can tame uncivilized early manliness as long as they don’t yield sex. The boys to whom girls ultimately yield sex refuse to respond favorably to subsequent nagging; they lose respect for such girls. Your man went through some version of that conditioning by girls.

97. As a woman nesting in her home, you favor décor and fashion over functionality. Your man thinks functionality comes first.

98. You view sex as a means to an end. Your man sees it as an end in itself.

99. You want to see justice served through equality, when equality is more theory than achievable. Your man wants to see justice served through fairness, which is both practical and achievable.

100. Although both sexes are emotional decision-makers, your man tends to weigh fact and truth with greater reality. You tend to more easily blend reality with your emotions.

More of ‘Where Love Begins’ follows in a day or two. Just as with the 100 sex differences already posted, new ones help determine the outcome of your interactions with your man and other men. Ten more should follow.

5 Comments

Filed under sex differences

5 responses to “1855. Sex Difference Redux—Part 94: Where Love Begins—10

  1. Tia

    Guy,
    I’m confused about difference #99.I need you to explain ‘fairness’ for me and by doing so I mean in examples.

    If a woman works 8 hours a day and a man works 8 hours a day, would a man think it was fair for his wife to do all of the housework and child-rearing alone?

    You say men see justice in terms of fairness versus equality, but to me it makes no sense. I think equality is fairness and I think men see it the same way too, but use double standards or “their terms of fairness” when it will place them in the winning position. I know for a fact given the example above if the shoe was on the other foot a man would imply that it wasn’t fair that he worked and had to do all of the housework and child-rearing. Yet, when it is their wives in that position that see it as fair. I’m sorry but it seems manipulative to say that men see justice through fairness because it’s not true. Men see justice through convenience and what’s in the their best interest not through fairness. I think we should call it what it really is which is ‘selfishness’ and being a ‘taker’ which you have disclosed men predominately are anyway in a previous post.

    Your Highness Tia,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You’re not confused, you’re angry and that’s why things don’t make sense. I have to overcome being dictated to (your second sentence) just to treat you as I treat other readers. It’s not a welcome start for my Sunday morning. But I’ll try. Not by explaining myself, but by describing why your life seems so miserable.

    First, your questions are off blog theme. You’re a newbie, so I suggest you read up to get caught up. The best start is the ABOUT page at blog top. I quote the opening paragraph:

    “If one seeks a better understanding of the battle of the sexes, one need examine human behavior with emotions taken out, neutralized, or nullified. Remove positive influences such as love and religion and a host of negative and strong motivators such as envy, jealousy, prejudice, and hatred. Without these obstructions the basic nature of both sexes becomes discernible. This blog takes us there.”

    After that, I suggest you read the entire series that starts at post 1747.

    You ask, “If a woman works 8 hours a day and a man works 8 hours a day, would a man think it was fair for his wife to do all of the housework and child-rearing alone?”

    A man wouldn’t think about it until she hollers about her miseries. If you knew the female nature better you probably wouldn’t ask it. A female is born with this one mission in life, to make her life better and future brighter. A man has many missions in life and is driven to compete, win, rest, and recover for tomorrow’s battle. Now, you may not agree or like those sex differences, but they are the foundation beneath the motivation of adult women and men. Consequently, a woman’s mission-oriented day is for 24 hours and R&R is not part of it. R&R are included among a man’s many missions. Unequal missions, yes. Unfair missions, maybe but not necessarily. But blame God, Nature, and hormones and not me.

    Your longest paragraph above reveals that you’re ‘fighting mad’ in losing the competitive battle with men or a man. If you’re married, your attitude likely drives you man elsewhere than with you. Why? Husbands don’t compete with their wives, the details of which have been written of many times in this blog.

    If you’re a bachelorette—and probably angry with me for calling you that—then you’ve probably taken up feminist offenses against men. If so, I suggest you read the series Dark Side of Feminism listed in the CONTENTS page.

    As to your demand for examples of fairness vs. equality, I suggest considering post 1386 Roots of Disputes—Fair vs. Equal. If you still have questions, please ask again. (The only women disqualified for my answers over the past 5-1/2 years were far angrier and offensive and far less innocent than you.)

    Your attitude and questions suggest you are unable to get along with men as well as you would like.
    If so, you join a huge group some of whom are regular viewers here. I recommend that you research much deeper in this blog or find a blog more suitable to your taste and confirming of your attitude.

    Guy

    • Tia

      Guy,
      There is nothing wrong with my attitude. You seemed offended by my comment and it wasn’t meant to be offensive. Either way, I don’t have a problem getting along with men. I understand your nature quite well and have catered to the men in my life accordingly from childhood into adulthood. No matter what it yielded the same result. No man ever thought about me beyond what concerned him, my father included. I could give him the moon, I could stay pretty, I could give everything and it was just that, me giving and them taking I don’t nag or holler about my miseries. I’m silent and my husband is quite happy with it being that way. I just believe that despite nature God gave us something that he didn’t give any other species on earth. A conscience and the ability to think beyond primal instinct. I don’t buy that men just don’t think about whether they are taking advantage of someone. I believe they know and use it to their advantage that we believe they don’t know. Thanks for your time.

      Your Highness Tia,

      Nor did I intend to offend, just defend.

      I regret that you can’t see this light. Women are relationship experts, men are not. Women have the natural ability to figuratively tame, harness, and domesticate men to a woman’s liking in a lifetime relationship. Men lack that ability, which makes it all the easier for women to fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. The surest way to spoil the process is to blame males for female mistakes.

      Guy

      • Brown_eyes

        Hey Tia! I know how you feel, sometimes I feel it’s so unfair too, along with many other things, like why don’t guys have to carry an infant nine months in their stomach, and why don’t they get their period every month, etc.

        But I think the real issue is that the ones most interested in having a marriage and being in a relationship are the women. I know many guys who can live happily ever after by themselves, while older women who are not married or in a relationship tend to be a little angry at life. So maybe we have more work because it is us, the ladies, who really really want to succeed in relationships, and not the gentlemen. Or at least that’s my case. I would much rather have a husband than be a CEO, while most men would like to be a CEO and maybe in the way they might get married, or not.

        Don’t get frustated Tia! Mr. Guy here has excellent advice, think of it as a drop of water in the desert. And remember to be grateful, thank God for your amazing husband (even if he can be a pain sometimes), for your beautiful family and friends, your home, your clothes on your back and everything in between! Life may not be fair, but it sure is beautiful.

        Your Highness Brown Eyes,
        Very appropriate. Thanks. Your last about gratitude is especially worthwhile.
        Guy

  2. Jay

    Need your clarification please. I am literally going nuts over my husband’s behaviour. I beg him for affection and sex. Lovemaking seems like he’s relieveing himself.Been ages we kissed….how do I bring love back or make him attracted to me. I doubt he’s cheating. When I complain to him about the our worsening emotional state, he accuses me of nagging saying at least he still loves me. Please advice

    Your Highness Jay,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You being a newbie, grasp this first. I can’t advise what you expect. You have to figure out what works for you. I provide detailed descriptions of how the nature of men and women are very different and interact.

    It appears you’ve lost your husband’s respect as the woman he married. These may have caused it: weight-gain loss of the shapeliness he married, sloppy or lack of attention to your appearance, nagging or desperate behaviors you use to get your way, failure to recognize and show gratitude for his value to the family, failure to acknowledge and follow a family rank structure, competing with him (e.g., arguing and otherwise trying to get your way in his domains).

    I suggest you plan a lengthy campaign of ultra-patience and near-silence until you learn more about men and women and can figure out how to improve your marriage. What you’ve been doing doesn’t work, so I suggest changing dramatically with these specifics:

    • Quit nagging, quit begging, show lack of interest in sex without denying it, and calm your desire for affection. Let him worry about what and why you’ve changed. Don’t explain, don’t complain. Fashion your behavior around your personality before marriage, give him again the woman he rose up to marry.

    • Study everything listed in the CONTENTS with ‘respect’ or ‘affection’ in the title. But first read #1755.

    • Change your appearance toward how he saw you in courtship. Not out-of-style clothes or hairdo but the physical underneath. Clothe yourself more neatly and attractively so that he sees a pleasant woman moving nearby. Movement attracts male eyes and attractive holds them. The Boob Language series might help.

    Many other articles can help you. So, I suggest you also read the entire CONTENTS page for titles that may appeal to you. I suspect also that some readers may have specific articles that helped them in similar situations. Good luck.

    Guy

  3. “….Consequently, a woman’s mission-oriented day is for 24 hours and R&R is not part of it. R&R are included among a man’s many missions….”

    Some of the things Mr.Guy states is difficult for me to understand in context. It seems plain that the above statement mean that women have a desire to work without resting…”

    So it makes me manly that I like to rest, relax and pamper myself after hard work? This can’t be what is being said and would love clarification here to get a real meaning.

    Your Highness Dawn,
    The context is the nature of men and women; it’s as if they are born as adults and lack the loading of experience, beliefs, and emotions.
    Women don’t have “a desire to work without resting.” They have a drive to brighten their future, and it often requires valiant effort that discourages R&R for them. It’s a choice.
    Guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s