1861. Sex Difference Redux—Part 99: Where Love Begins—15


When relationship experts balance these comparisons such that disagreements and disputes don’t arise, they develop and invigorate the kind of love that makes compatibility mutual and lasts a lifetime.

141. You prefer to talk about and bond over personal matters. Your man avoids the personal; he talks about and bonds over the impersonal. (It’s an aspect of his nature that also causes ‘affection delivery disorder’ as described at post 1755.)

142. Your man mostly produces to achieve results; relationships are less important. You mostly process to sustain relationships; short-term results are less important.

143. You want to live with your man more than he wants a woman to live with. (It means only that your natures ‘work’ that way. You are capable of making him want to live with you as much as he with you.)

144. You need a reason to have sex. Your man needs a place. You know when. Your man hopes frequently and conveniently. (After marriage change “frequently” to “regularly.”)

145. Your man invests himself in producing a home and then takes living inside for granted. You take your home as sanctuary, invest yourself continuously to maintain it, and resent being taken for granted.

146. You expect both emotional fidelity and sexual faithfulness. Your man is unfamiliar with the former and demands the latter much more intensely than you expect it.

147. Your man has little natural interest in making things safer, except as he foresees or faces endangerment. He expects to handle whatever comes and largely expects the same of you. You anticipate threats to your future and seek solutions or help before a threat appears.

148. Your man needs someplace to go or something to do in the morning. It’s natural tasking to prove his self-worth. In the morning, you orchestrate tasks that are connected to activating the process of living. It’s natural tasking to prove your sense of importance.

149. You receive relationship interest through your ears and relationship nourishment via attention and affection from your man. He confirms relationship interest through his eyes and relationship nourishment via stomach, sex, and comfort.

150. You seek frequent confirmation that your relationships are well and continuing so. Your man pays attention to his relationships only when something goes wrong, bad, or out of kilter.

I’ve not yet run out of axioms for generating enduring love. More follow in the next post about ‘Where Love Begins’.

2 Comments

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2 responses to “1861. Sex Difference Redux—Part 99: Where Love Begins—15

  1. Anne

    Sir Guy, in what sense are all these axioms “axioms of enduring love”? They seems like axioms of incompatibility ~ very helpful to know, but hard to know what to do with.

    Your Highness Anne,

    Good question and I see the lack of clarity and how you were misled.

    Both incompatibility and enduring love can be the result of each numbered item. (I try to promote enduring love.) Each item contains two axioms purposely contrasted to show the opposed nature of each sex. When an item is balanced to the satisfaction of each mate within a couple, their relationship moves toward compatibility and the possibility of enduring love. When not balanced to their satisfaction, their relationship moves toward incompatibility and the minimalizing of their chances for enduring love.

    Guy

    • I see! Thank you. And I presume its the lady’s task to do the balancing, eh?

      Your Highness Anne,
      Not necessarily as the door is open to both sexes. However, the balancing takes a lot of give and take, relationship management, and dedicated interest in enhancing compatibility. Women have much greater interest, ability, and motivation than men to do it.
      Guy

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