1863. Sex Difference Redux—Part 101: Where Love Begins—17


Balancing the ingredients that produce compatibility can be done by either sex. However, the balancing takes a lot of give and take, relationship management, and dedicated interest in enhancing compatibility. Women have much greater interest, ability, and motivation than men to do it. Here’s another ten sex differences that lead to or take away from spousal compatibility.

161. Your man lays guilt on you andunless you directly refuseit motivates you to make things right. Laying guilt on your man produces unintended consequences.

162. Your love shows up as words and actions that reveal your appreciation and affection. As you demonstrate your loving kindness, actions make you more loving of that love object. Your man’s love shows up with his producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving for those for whom he feels responsible. Actions much more than words confirm that he loves someone of vital importance to him.

163. The internal forces that push your man forward—qualities such as competitive spirit, work ethic, responsibility, individualism—are comparable to the nurturing urges that warm your psyche such as affection, nurturing, and intimacy.

164. The more you like yourself as a female and the more feminine you routinely present yourself, then the greater your self-respect and less you permit your man to dominate you unfairly. Your man learns easily to use much softer gloves with women the more highly he respects them. And men respect friendly and feminine females who exploit their unique nature to the fullest—which excludes acting as a guy, man, feminist, radical, or something else not admired by manly men.

165. In the matter of self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence, you expand and strengthen those qualities by capturing and keeping a boyfriend, mate, or husband. Your man possesses those qualities before capturing you. If you subsequently weaken his strengths, you make yourself more burden than blessing, more unlikeable than likeable, more disposable than keep-able.

166. You disclose feelings easily and view very open relationships as non-threatening. Your man neither needs nor wants fully open relationships. He doesn’t disclose feelings, unless it helps accomplish something that he wants or needs. (IOW, feelings to men are more like weapons than for guidance. Of course, men are emotional creatures, but they don’t naturally think of themselves that way.)

167. You push your man to express his deeper emotions. You want to hear about his feelings, even if not directly about you. You seek full disclosure to test for his emotional fidelity. You can’t stand much mystery, and open relationships are less threatening. However, your man doesn’t think about it. He just has feelings, so what? No sense talking about it (unless needed to conquer you or persuade a woman). (Keeping his emotions private has the serendipitous effect of keeping women on edge about his intentions.)

168. Your womanly love comes from claiming it; you don’t have to prove it to yourself. Your man’s love comes from his actions that confirm and reconfirm that he must love you. If he didn’t, why would he do so much to please you?

169. You more easily live up to something bigger than yourselfespecially love, religion, morality, and familywhen you need help to improve your feelings. Your man more easily lives up to something bigger than himself when complex thinking comes into play—such as politics, power relationships, religion, morality, standards, competition, responsibilities, authority, accountability, leadership, management. (Morality and religion are both common and most fertile to be made mutual.)

170. In the matter of self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence, your man respects you for possessing those qualities. He also expects you to respect him and help reinforce those qualities within him. He won’t admit to the italicized phrase, but when respect declines for either of you, you drift toward becoming an ex.

As it looks now, only one more post on this subject is forthcoming.

1 Comment

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One response to “1863. Sex Difference Redux—Part 101: Where Love Begins—17

  1. Some Other Guy

    regarding #167, However, your man doesn’t think about it. He just has feelings, so what? No sense talking about it (unless needed to conquer you or persuade a woman). (Keeping his emotions private has the serendipitous effect of keeping women on edge about his intentions.)

    Is this serendipitous because women get bored if their man has no mystery about him?

    Sir Some Other Guy,

    You may have it backwards. Men are bored if women lack mystery.

    When men express their feelings, the female nature inevitably nudges women to judge them by female standards. Men have little chance to win because women make emotions their decision choice over the male-preferred logic and reason. It forces men to face the fact they too are emotional creatures, but they ignore it for disputes with women by relying on male dominance/superiority.

    The male nature avoids being judged by women and doesn’t care about it by men (or makes it appear that way). Also, when judged by female expectations, men lose by losing control and can find themselves wanting, which weakens self-admiration and significance.

    Guy

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