1865. Sex Difference Redux—Part 103: Inspired to be Better

We all aspire to be better people. However, God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes differently. But still, WADWMUFGAO, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. To feel good about ourselves by being a worse person, we have to be taught.

Both sexes are born with the inspiration to be better persons, and we instinctively pressure ourselves to live up to it. We don’t just hope to be a better person; our nature prompts and pushes us to keep trying. For the benefit of both individuals and society, we all need a model to follow other than ourselves. Without it we exploit our weaknesses in the mistaken belief that we know best. It has the effect of promoting and perpetuating our own shortcomings, which makes us more unacceptable to those around us.

We become better by living up to someone or something bigger than us. Our focus shifts from inside to outside ourselves. We expand our interests and weaken our self-centeredness with the added blessing of not feeling alone or deserted.

Women intuitively turn toward someone, primarily God and mate, and men rise to some things, primarily jobs and beliefs. Women anticipate need for access to wisdom; men depend more on whatever wisdom they gain in daily competition.

Women easily accept guilt, aggressively respond to threats against their children, and eagerly spot their mate’s inadequacies. Consequently, they find that living up to God’s expectations makes them a better person. He’s supremely qualified to help overcome womanly shortcomings and mate’s inadequacies.

A better male or female more easily harmonizes relationships and, when necessary, resolves domestic upheavals. With God’s help, women can become the person they instinctively envision, although they never quite get there. There’s always more to do, more a better person to become.

The sex difference is fortuitous for Americans. The choice of living up to God’s expectations requires living by a moral code. As Tocqueville states in his classic Democracy in America, “No free communities ever existed without morals; and … morals are the work of woman.” In fact, morals are of little interest to the male nature except as females make it so.

Men traditionally follow the female lead when women take advantage of two motivational forces in order to generate compatibility, and harmonize relationships. 1) Men only need a place to flop, eat, throw their things, and prepare for tomorrow’s battles. 2) Men do whatever women require in order to have convenient and frequent access to sex.

When women live within and promote morality, they lead men by example. It leads to these monumental improvements for females and children. Men are induced to also follow God, adhere to His moral code, and thus become better persons, husbands, and fathers.

Consequently, women’s natural inspiration to become better people generates the role model that induces men to follow suit. Men who live up to God and mate are far more productive and protective for females than living up to thingssuch as jobs that discriminate, ideologies that exploit, and beliefs that normalize mistreatment of women and children.


Filed under sex differences

5 responses to “1865. Sex Difference Redux—Part 103: Inspired to be Better

  1. Sharon

    Guy, that last statement is powerful, and sobering, in its implications regarding a woman’s need to be a role model (for her husband, her children, her friends): “Men who live up to God and mate are far more productive and protective for females than living up to things . . .” Women who choose to “become better people” will, over time, reap deeply satisfying personal results, while at the same time sowing good seeds within their families and beyond.

  2. Readinggrowinglearning

    I have question beauty and sex differences and esteem. I am at a stalemate in reconciling what is, and can can be, with what I can change and what I can’t.
    I was diagnosed at 15 with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (severe hormonal imbalance). I am now in my mid-twenties and through God’s healing my ovulation/fertility is back in swing. I manage its cosmetic effects, laser treatment to handle hirsutism, controlling skin issues etc.
    Somehow I feel like it’s not enough. I am told men want feminine women. Most women in my family have the perfect hip to waist ratio, I (regardless of weight) on the other have grown up to have wide shoulders and a broad back, very narrow hips and waist, masculine legs. Compact, boxy like a pit-bull not an elegant greyhound.
    I have recently lost a good deal of weight and I noticed men seemed to notice 🙂 But the majority still look away and ignore me. Internally I am very feminine.But that doesn’t translate well externally… when I get dressed up put on heels, do my hair wear a nice dress, add a little lip gloss it still looks very off, mannish and coarse. PCOS uncontrolled can cause women to pack on like 50 lbs in a year it is a constant battle to keep the weight under control and by extension control the unpleasant side effects.

    I have a difficulty accepting the your’e pretty/ hey beautiful comments when I worried that my neck looks like a pack of hot dogs lol. Balancing actively effecting change while having a positive self image is what is so hard for me to learn.
    Example:Its like you are hosting an amazing event while you’re setting up you don’t wanna let anyone in while the place is a mess even if they say “come on it can’t be that bad”.
    I wanna let you in but let me tidy up first so I don’t embarrass myself.

    I fear that sometimes men don’t see that. They thing I am being snobbish or coy and cynical, “I like you why aren’t you responding to me, don’t you believe me ” I imagine he might say.
    I really want companionship and lack of confidence is making me gun shy and a shrinking violet. I want to be able to really honour a man in a relationship and I need to get to a basic level of confidence where I can say yeah “I’m a woman he can be proud of. He deserves someone who is self assured and confident and I am not there yet… 😦

    Your Highness Readinggrowinglearning,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Recovery is simple but won’t be easy. It will take 6-12 months before you recognize that you’ve generated self-confidence you never thought possible. Other benefits may also be present then.

    Problem. You pay attention to the wrong things, those that are the most victimizing for you and easily observed by others. You cringe at what you lack rather than celebrate what you have. Your self-confidence wavers at best and collapses at worst. You may not be able to change many things about yourself, but you can change your mind and heart. They just happen to be the most important anyway.

    Solution. Action cures fears and negative attitudes. Actions reprogram the heart to however you choose to act. That’s right! Act first and your heart will follow. You can pay so much attention to your affirming and positive traits that flaws become unimportant and that allows self-confidence to grow.

    Plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So, personalize for yourself a plan built around this outline. Deviations and shortcuts, however, will delay or short circuit some benefits.

    1. Study and commit to carrying out the ‘pretty time’ process described in articles 806 and 1146. Make it habitual first thing in the morning and lasting for 30 minutes. At first you will get bored but keep at it. After a while you will find benefits that affirmatively parallel or outweigh your flaws, so stick to it.

    2. Start a handwritten journal (diary without secrets). Make entries at the same time each day so it grows into habit.

    3. Each day write at least three things about which you are grateful. Be proud of what you have but never considered before. No repeats for at least a week. Start here to develop the habit of such thinking: You’re grateful for what? Home? Parents? Church? Friends? How many different ways?

    4. As soon as you’re comfortable within the first week start finding the positive side to your physical characteristics. Don’t be afraid to mention flaws. Turn them into positives, such as wide shoulders enable certain clothing that you like. And, high heels trim your calves. As to your neck, be grateful for whatever cosmetics help the appearance.

    5. Until it becomes a reliable habit that forces you into the writing mode same time every day, push yourself to follow your plan as religiously as possible. You’re not trying to change yourself or anyone else. Your purpose is to highlight as many important things as you can in your world about which you are grateful.

    6. Every time a thought enters your mind about some physical or mental flaw, replace it immediately with a positive side to it that makes you grateful. Replace thoughts immediately and record them later about:

    • Rashes with gratitude for powder.

    • Hirsute condition with gratitude for lasers.

    • Body shape with gratitude for your smiling face. (Anyway, that’s where you really live when associating with others.)

    • Lack of ideal visual femaleness with knowledge of internal femininity.

    • Weight with medicine for weight control.

    • Health with doctor who with so many talents specializes in treating it.

    • Victimhood with thoughts of God’s love of what, who, where, and why you are.

    Each day go back over the past week to ensure you don’t repeat. It helps the reprogramming of your heart, so don’t forget to do it daily.

    And the list goes on and on. You have the imagination, and using it is the action that cures fear, negative attitudes, and lack of self-confidence. To further justify developing the pretty time and journalizing efforts, you should know that happiness flows out of those things for which one is grateful. So, the more gratitude you find surrounding rather than pointing at your flaws, the happier you will become. With that comes even greater self-confidence and self-respect. The former helps you, but the latter makes the greater and more attractive impact on men.


    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Readinggrowinglearning,
      I just watched and movie and thought of this statement from you, “I (regardless of weight) on the other have grown up to have wide shoulders and a broad back, very narrow hips and waist, masculine legs. Compact, boxy like a pit-bull not an elegant greyhound.” Dress up and capitalize on your flaws. Watch Esther Williams in The Thrill of a Romance. She’s beautiful with broad shoulders and relatively narrow hips when clothed. Try it. You may like it.

  3. Readinggrowinglearning

    Thank you Guy.
    Getting a journal stat…. I will put this into action. Thanks for taking the time to answer.

  4. Readinggrowinglearning

    Umm… One more thing what do you mean by plan? And what should the diary have? The three things I’m grateful for each day?

    Please clarify the part about planning:
    5. Until it becomes a reliable habit that forces you into the writing mode same time every day, push yourself to follow your plan as religiously as possible.

    Your Highness Readinggrowinglearning,

    Your plan is the whole project that you decide and commit to do with the material I outlined.

    Yes, about the journal/diary. Write in three or more things each day that you are grateful for. Eventually address interspersed all your flaws many times over but always turned around such that you write only about those things that are positive and for which you are grateful.


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