1867. Sex Difference Redux—Part 104: Her Worst Dilemma

Men don’t face this dilemma. The more time a woman spends at the mirror prettifying herself, the more likely she focuses on and worries about wrinkles. Aging follows sooner than expected because she focuses on the wrong thing to retain a youthful appearance. Yet, the less time she spends at the mirror, the older she appears in public.

Wrinkles really matter only to the owner and other women—either encouragers or criticizers. To men, wrinkles are unnoticeable. Whether she’s young, old, or older, wrinkles don’t make her more or less sexier or friendlier. It’s not the only reason, but men can easily ignore their own wrinkles and pay no particular attention to women’s. Men don’t grade themselves except as they think they appear; they ‘grade’
women by other features.

The less time she spends at the mirror each day, the more she doesn’t prepare to show herself off in public. She lacks the virtue of interest in looking neat and organized and specializes in sweats, tee shirts, and other comfort clothes. Total sloppy soon follows, such as going for donuts and coffee with tangled hair, near-rags one notch above pajamas, and dragging daughters in the same condition or pajamas.

With no appearance standards to live up to, such as being presentable or at her prettiest, she learns to live without standards. Inevitably her appearance declines and with that she appears older to observers. Her skin wrinkles don’t really matter; men too easily overlook her as a woman when everything else about her is wrinkled.


Filed under Dear daughter

3 responses to “1867. Sex Difference Redux—Part 104: Her Worst Dilemma

  1. Sara

    This is very true and should be shouted from the mountain tops. I myself could care less about wrinkles when there is a bright smile with sparkly eyes to go with it. I also notice wardrobe and hairstyle since those are bigger than miniscule wrinkles. Well done!

    Your Highness Sara,
    You’re so right, “a bright smile with sparkly eyes to go with it” steals the show from all other flaws.

  2. mYstiQue

    I remember when men, women, and children, even in Northern CA used to dress up for church, or other places the only time kids wore jeans, was if they were in a rodeo, rode horses or similar,
    The smile, IMO is the prettiest thing on a womans face, and it shows her being feminine. I was wondering what made modern actresses look a little unpretty than the older counterparts, and it was a smile..

  3. Anne

    This is a priceless post, Sir Guy! I had been feeling down lately on account of all the “flaws” I’ve started noticing during my mirror time (wrinkles in particular – especially as I’m in my 30’s and feel I’m too young for them yet!) But after reflecting on your post here, I now feel that the tiny wrinkles I’m noticing are not so much a sign of aging (although they ARE that!) but they’re also a sign that I’m taking mirror time to a new level — I’m noticing things I wouldn’t have seen a year ago. And I invested in a cream to reduce the wrinkles and things are looking better already!

    Now I don’t mean to misconstrue your post. You seem to be saying the wrinkles don’t matter – but in my case noticing them is (I think) a sign that I’ve reached a plateau in my current routine and am starting to see new things to improve during mirror time. Whether the wrinkles matter to anyone else or not, they are the next thing for me to tackle in the morning. I also started noticing a few other areas that needed tackling and joined a gym. Even though I’m slim, I have (for the first time in my life) decided to work on “toning.” Again, no one else may even notice, but I’m feeling better already!

    Your Highness Anne,

    Your wrinkles matter but only to you. You hang a new picture and in three days you hardly notice it. Why? It hasn’t changed nor did you expect it to. Now, you run into someone you know but haven’t seen in three days. You notice their face immediately, because it’s never the same as the last time. IOW, you look for changes because you expect to see some. With the picture, there’s no reason to expect to see changes so you no longer view it with the interest that a friendly face brings to your mind, heart, and judgment. Wrinkles don’t change that fast so you don’t notice them. However, if you’ve not seen the person for a year you probably notice new wrinkles and quickly forget them as you move your thoughts to their much more interesting features and expressions.

    So, you cream the wrinkles and move on. Great! That’s what pretty time is designed to do. Improve your whole appearance by overcoming whatever flaws mar your opinion in the process of appreciating your pretty self.

    I admire you for already “toning” your heart and mind at the mirror. Tone up the physical and you’re tuned up and dynamically pretty enough for some man to see and call you beautiful. I love it when pretty women get themselves and their acts together.


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