1878. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 81


Womanly beauty and virtue are like vapors. They condense into usefulness when admired by one man. Beauty incites his sex drive. Virtue—every uniqueness that a man admires—stirs his interest to marry her.

With their minds off sex, men much prefer a woman that is loveable rather than loving and respectable rather than respecting. They more highly value a woman from imagining rather than actually feeling her up. Consequently, unmarried women develop better relationships when they use modesty instead of exotic/erotic, rely on respectable actions rather than affectionate words, and substitute moral guidance for sexual freedom. They do best by making themselves more attractive, respectable, and loveable—which start with neatness, pleasantness, and likeability respectively.

Dressed frazzled, uncaring, and bulging, women lose much of their importance to others, which means they are less important to themselves, and vice versa.

Strong-willed masculinity makes men more grateful and dependable mates, albeit less empathetic. Seemingly more needful of womanly attention, they easily reinforce their mate’s sense of self-importance for providing it.

Strong-willed femininity makes women more respected, virtuous, and likeable as mates, albeit more dependent. Seemingly more needful of manly support, they easily reinforce their man’s sense of self-admiration for providing it.

Women who like themselves as a female tend to act more modest than others. It works in reverse too: The practice of modesty tends to make women like their femaleness better. By not letting life’s incentives and pressures twist them into copying masculine virtues, values, and behaviors, women increase their sense of self-worth, self-respect, self-confidence, and self-image. Each reinforces her potential to be even more important to herself, others, and her gender.

9 Comments

Filed under sex differences

9 responses to “1878. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 81

  1. Anne

    “Strong-willed masculinity makes men more grateful and dependable mates, albeit less empathetic. Seemingly more needful of womanly attention, they easily reinforce their mate’s sense of self-importance for providing it.

    Strong-willed femininity makes women more respected, virtuous, and likeable as mates, albeit more dependent. Seemingly more needful of manly support, they easily reinforce their man’s sense of self-admiration for providing it.”

    Wow. Thank you.

  2. Dear Sir Guy

    I have this burning question about a certain habit I’ve discovered about myself that I feel I don’t have enough insight into myself to understand my reason for doing it.

    I’ve found that I’ll start to like a guy, even like him quite a lot, but whenever they’ve started to reciprocate the feelings and try and move it forward I’m filled with anxiety, the ‘in love’ feelings disappear (even when I don’t want them to) and the only thing I know to do is flee the situation. It’s like the feelings come naturally when the romantic interest exits only in my head, but when it becomes reality and expectations are built that I’m filled with so much doubt and can’t commit or decide anything. I’ve started to avoid dating so I don’t let guys down.

    I grew up fairly isolated and didn’t date at all during my teen years due to a lack of exposure to boys my age. Now that I’m a young adult I feel I have no skills for incorporating a guy into my inner circle in a way that feels comfortable. I only know myself alone, not part of a duo.

    I don’t know if it is just because the guys thus far have been wrong and everything will fall into place with the ‘right’ one? I don’t understand what feelings are supposed to follow the infatuated phase so that I know I still love him and want to be with him when the butterflies are gone. Maybe I just haven’t yet been properly in love before?

    Your Highness Cassy,
    I agree with Anne below. Think of yourself as learning about boys just as if you were still a teenager. Just keep going by exposing rather than withdrawing from men. Play it all loose and for fun. You will soon learn how to live with infatuation and from that you will be able to identify real love. (That’s what infatuation teaches and why it arrives in the teens and fades afterward.)
    Guy

    • Anne

      While awaiting Sir. Guy’s reply, may I say something? You remind me of myself at probably a similar age (for similar reasons, too ~ I was raised in a rather isolated location). What you describe sounds like the perfectly natural response to “fear of the unknown.” I think you should stop taking “your emotional temperature” to assess how you “feel” around guys (in love, not in love, butterflies, scared, want-to-flee, etc.) You may worry that this attitude may set you up for some awful experience (“but if I’d just paid attention to my feelings I would never have gone out with that drug-dealer!”) Its the stuff of books and fairy tales, in my opinion. If you really meet someone creepy, you’ll know it on more than just a “felt” level ~ at least the kind of “felt” level you’re describing here. I suggest setting your feelings aside for awhile and just letting yourself get to know a guy. Smile at him; be around where he’s going to be (at school, work, church, or wherever); let him ask you out; go out with him more than once. Just get to know him. Don’t run away when you get scared and don’t freak out of you do (or don’t) feel “in love” at any point. Dating is much less about all that fluff and much more about getting to know another human being and interacting on a level of mutual-respect. Look less for your feelings of “love” (or fear) and more for his devotion to you or lack thereof. Do you respect him over time? These are the things I would think about. So those are my thoughts; eagerly awaiting Sir Guy’s view…

  3. Anne

    Sir Guy, can you help me find the Husband’s Creed?! 😦

    Your Highness Anne,
    Disappointment at the lack of reactions caused me to rethink it. I took it down in order to include it in a bigger project titled Make Marriage Work. See the new page at blog top.
    Guy

    • Anne

      I’m sorry for the lack of response. I found it very thought-provoking, as the other ladies have mentioned. In fact, I coppied it via e-mail to a good friend of mine so we could discuss it together. I was even considering printing it to tuck away for future reference. I appreciated how it was laid out in “man talk” most of all. I’ll check out the Make Marriage Work section now…

  4. For what it’s worth, I thought the Husband Creed was very thought provoking and something I wanted to return to later to let it all sink in. Looking forward to the new project.

    • gonemaverick

      so did i Denise. so did i.

    • Elizabeth

      As did I.

      Your Highness Elizabeth,

      Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

      I plan to re-post it soon.

      Guy

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