1892. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 83

Feminists killed the idea that men ‘own’ their woman. All across society women accept the feminist drumbeat and unsuspectingly kill much of the dedication and energy that glues a marriage together. The more pride of ownership that a man feels for his wife and family, the greater is his sense of responsibility. It’s linear and instinctive. Moreover, the more years and more reliably he fulfills those responsibilities, the more dependable he becomes. The more that habits reinforce instinct, the harder it becomes for him to ever dump wife or family. Consequently, the more able is a wife to accept being ‘owned’ in spirit, appearance, and reputation, the more insurance she generates to keep her man around forever.

Women need religion and Christianity provides the best answer for two reasons that flow out of the differences between women and men. Women are prone to accepting and retaining guilt until their conscience overloads. To assuage the overload, God’s unconditional love that is available through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ enables women to live with guilt. Their sins are easily forgiven and they can move on. Men are not needful of religion; their conscience doesn’t overload because they expunge guilt before it accumulates that much. When women lead men to the Lord, men become much better and empathetic about women and children—but also much happier within themselves.


Filed under Dear daughter

14 responses to “1892. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 83

  1. J'ahdore

    Adam’s rib ; )

    • StillLearning...

      When women lead men to the Lord, men become much better and empathetic about women and children—but also much happier within themselves.

      True, Sir Guy, but easier said than done.

      Your Highness StillLearning,
      Everything is easier said than done except talking. That’s why a wife’s leadership by Christian example, leadership by wifely indirectness, leadership by respecting his reluctance, and leadership by not trying to save him works best. It takes immense patience, strong belief in her own faith, and endless hope that her exemplary connection with Jesus Christ will someday enable him to see the light and let someone else lead him to the Lord.

      • StillLearning...

        So then it’s okay to marry someone who doesn’t share your faith?
        What about a man who believes in most of it, but truly believes there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage (mainly for couples past childbearing age) or even in just a relationship that’s not going to lead to marriage? Someone who believes that God gave us sex for pleasure and that I’m punishing myself by holding out for marriage.

        Your Highness StillLearning,

        Re “marry someone who doesn’t share your faith?” That’s your business. I can’t advise except the Bible warns against it as being unequally yoked.

        Re the man who has all the reasons for getting you into bed without marriage. Any man any time wants sex without marriage unless he has become so devoted to one woman that he suppresses his nature in order to be faithful to her. This man’s glibness persuades for personal reasons. Men change after they conquer a woman. What are your prospects for marriage with someone so eager to get his way and—seemingly—so disinterested in you getting your way?

        The only way to resolve the issue is to withhold sex, see if he becomes even more devoted to you, and becomes willing to marry just to get you in bed. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to determine the honesty of what he says.

        As for “God gave us sex for pleasure,” ask for him to show it in the Bible. Or better yet, make it “unmarried sex.”

        As for “punishing myself,” what do you want out of the guy? Fun, pleasure, etc. or do you insist on marriage? Commit yourself to whatever your answer is, and you can look back with much less regret.


        • StillLearning...

          Sir Guy,
          He is baptized in the same religion as me, but doesn’t practice it. He disagrees with the Churches teachings on sex as I stated above.
          He has been faithful to me throughout our past relationship and the time we’ve been apart. He finally got to the point of signing up on a dating site but contacted me because he couldn’t bring himself to actually meet anyone in person until he found out whether there was any last hope that I would give him more time to see if his situation changes and then he can marry me. I told him that it’s not possible for either one of us to go back to the way things were and not have physical intimacy, not without a marriage happening in the near future. Of course he would like to have the whole thing, but there is no way of knowing for sure if his situation will ever change. I feel we either marry soon and deal with his circumstances or we have to completely forget about each other.
          So what does a woman do in a situation like this (when there is a very strong attachment between both of us)?

          Your Highness StillLearning,

          You are two conquerors facing off. The one that fears losing the other the most will be the one that yields first.

          If you yield, you will lose his respect, which means that his love will be weakened. If he yields, he will lose self-dignity, which will help reshape his self-image as potential mate and better for you.

          I suggest you stand pat. Insist that you’re way is the ONLY way for you all to proceed. Get dynamic and perhaps in his face that you will not betray yourself—even for him.

          If you can’t do that or something equally dynamic and surprising, your misery will continue as the battles continue or he walks away.


  2. Cinnamon

    Sir Guy,

    Would a man of mature Christian faith ever pressure a woman for sex without marriage? If a man does so, does this mean his faith is weak or immature?

    Even if he backs off, is should the fact that he did it in the first place (tried to lead a woman into sin) make a Christian woman uneasy?

    Your Highness Cinnamon,

    Re first para. — Sure. It’s too natural an impulse and don’t take it as hypocritical. None are perfect, we all sin. Devotion to God stimulates the kind of behavior that puts men in the pulpit or monastery. Devotion to a woman with expectations to marry her makes a man settle for deferred gratification, take pressure off her, and appear eager to take vows of fidelity. If that’s the behavior you seek, forgiveness, patience, and good leadership and good followership are required on your part.

    Re second para. — Red flag, perhaps, but it seems marginal unless your uneasiness is your main measure. Unless I’m mis-guessing, his backing off symbolizes that he’s upgrading his commitment to devotion of you. If you don’t disqualify him for backing off, you should see exactly what you want to see—his doing what you want, his going where God wants him to go.


  3. Cinnamon

    Sir Guy,

    Could you expand on what you mean by “good leadership and good followership” on my part?

    I have been forgiving and patient (I think) – I have not gotten angry or complained or criticized his character, but I have had to lay out the rules and have said what I expect – that a man will not lead me to do something that is contrary to God’s law. Is this what you mean by me leading?

    How would you see me being able to “follow” in this instance (where he has not acted as a brother in Christ)? Is this respect he has to earn? As an avid reader of your writings, I know that nagging and complaining will get me nowhere.

    I don’t want to write him off too early, but at the moment my trust in his character, including his ability to lead me in a Godly way, has been undermined. Apart from this incident, he does seem to take his Christian faith seriously.

    Your Highness Cinnamon,

    2nd para. — Yes.

    3rd para. — Don’t hold it against him in other matters. Be feminine and treat him as a good man hopefully leading you into a brighter future.

    4th para. — Trust in his character should be a manifestation of the respect he shows you. Does he? If he deviates from leading you in a Godly way, you can always refuse, back up, tell him to seek forgiveness of God so you can forgive him, or just tell him to get lost. One incident that wilts your trust gives you good opportunity to learn how to sustain your relationship.

    Parenthetically, you seem to be judging him more out of your fears than out of gratitude that he’s earned other than the one incident.


  4. Cinnamon

    Sir Guy,

    Your last paragraph in your reply to me really hit home.

    For some reason this one incident looms very large and yes, it has to do with fear. I feel like he deserted me at 2am in a dark subway to find my way home (i.e. displays reckless disregard for my safety). I know I am overreacting, but I can’t shake the feeling. I am still treating him as a good man but my guard has gone up and I find myself holding back a little bit i.e. still very polite but a little less warm/more businesslike. I fear I am not going to be able to warm up again to him. I even thought about ending things because of my fear but have not done so. I do like this man very much and have no other complaints.

    If you have any more ideas or insights about this I would appreciate it. You understand women muchbetter than we understand ourselves. I so very much wanted this man to be in the 1% who would not dare even try this.

    Your Highness Cinnamon,

    If it’s only that one event, it’s time to restore your faith in him—or him to confirm that your red flag disqualifies him for your future.

    You can do it this way, if you can put on a drill sergeant face. In private, get angry and get a six inches from his face. Raise your voice and dynamically inquire what kind of man would leave a woman in a dark subway at 2am. If he quivers in surprise, you’ve done it right. If he’s calm as a cucumber, beware.

    His reaction and response will tell you what you need to know. Trust your intuition.


  5. thetruth01

    Hello Guy,

    This is off topic but, I have recently become irritated at adolescent older men staring at me as I come and leave my home. My neighbor lives across the street from me and allows his friends to hangout in all day and sometimes at night outside of his home. The staring has been going on for years and I was hoping they would take a hint because I don’t look their way or even say hi. Also I call the police because of how disrespectful they are to other people and their property (they know I call too). Now when they look at me I get an attitude and I was wondering what would be a better way to something like this.

    Your Highness Thetruth01,

    You don’t want to hear this but staring is a compliment.

    You have let fear of what they might do make you want to deny them the pleasure of admiring a pretty lady. Tsk! Tsk! That’s no way to keep control over your environment. You need to make them like you and not want to embarrass or harass you. You need to tickle their fancy.

    You have restricted your options. You have only two left. 1) Continue to ignore them, let fear compound, and wait for whatever happens. 2) Have a guy friend observing without being seen just in case things get out of hand, which won’t happen if you show uncommon but ladylike bravery.

    Wearing pretty dress, coifed hair, and high heels, walk up to them face-to-face full of determination and smilingly charm the holy s*** out of them, thank them for gracing the neighborhood with masculine charm, and start the self-fulfilling prophecy of converting them into real gentlemen.

    Call them gentlemen, address them as gentlemen, and then drop a pan or two of brownies or bag of donuts in their midst, promise the same every month on that date, smile like a movie star, and return home with the stride of a nice lady. Turn at your door, wave and smile, and retreat inside. If they commence whistling in the future, it’s friendly and complimentary not just for your looks but also your manner and class. The staring will gently fade away as you exchange daily greetings.

    Always have a friendly greeting, smile and wave. It thrills them. Never again look down on them but as if you’re looking up to them. Now and then, walk across and pass them a bit of news about something of interest to men. Be on the lookout for some tidbit of info that may please them and pass it on—or in modern lingo, pass it forward.

    Get them looking up to you instead of at you. When you can act and appear grateful for their presence and respectful of their character, your attitude and life will take a turn around because they will change to please a pretty woman. Then, if one or more get out of hand, their buddies will discourage it on your behalf.


  6. thetruth01

    Wow! Option #2 takes a lot of courage, but I can do it I just need to get over being shocked first. Thanks a lot for your wisdom.

    Your Highness Thetruth01,
    Yes, sleep on it a few days. Plan and rehearse what you will wear, do, and say. A total victory in the first encounter is not a necessity, but it makes everything else pale into insignificance.

    I forgot something. Don’t glance around while approaching or talking. Look one after another directly in the eye; make sure those men know you are impressive in your courage.

  7. Brown_eyes

    Great post! Where I come from, Mexico, married women make it very clear they are taken when they introduce themselves. Women here don’t change their last names, so if say, Anna Smith married Ben Johnson, she will introduce herself as Anna Smith of Johnson.

  8. thetruth01

    Is it a red flag if a guy you’re interested in acts like he “owns” you? Would it be ok to ask him if he wants to be exclusive?

    Your Highness Thetruth01,
    Sure. It’s a good way to explore his true intentions, discover his honesty when pressured, and uncover other traits embedded in his character.

    • thetruth01

      Hello Guy,
      Ok I did that and he turned out to be a shy/ gamma male. He acts like he’s devoted, but he’s not being the leader in the relationship. He waits for me to initiate anything and I feel burdened. What should I do?

      Your Highness Thetruth01,
      You’ll likely feel burdened with him as mate. Can you tolerate it? Trust your heart. Do what it says is best for you.

      • thetruth01

        No I can’t tolerate it. I will miss him so much though, that sucks. Well now I know what type of guy is a better fit for me. Is it hard to find a guy that will be devoted to you? Can I talk to him about it, ask him to take risks and lead?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s