1897. Good Manners

Evidently many parents don’t see good manners as essential to their own satisfaction with life. Or else they lack the character to exemplify it, willingness to expect better of their children, or ability to comprehend social disadvantages.

Good manners send two messages. “I respect you” to those exposed to it, and “I respect myself” enough to make you appear respectable—without you having to earn it.

Self-respect is the foundation of individual behavior. Respect of others is the foundation of good relationships. To the extent that self-respect, mutual respect, and independent freedom of choice are lacking, relationships are weaker. Moreover, good manners enable trust and respect to work together. More of each generates more of the other and the effects compound into greater respect and trust. Consequently, good manners provide the first sign that respect and trust can exist and are buildable between respectable and trustworthy people.

On the other hand, absence of both respect and trust fosters selfishness and enables indifference and contempt between others. It’s but a small step from there to untamed aggression and violence for boys and single men and modern custom is starting to sweep girls into evil practices against their inherent nature.

Unless taught better, youth generally scorn good manners, because it empowers them to ignore the interest of others in favor of their exclusive self-interest. It’s a natural outgrowth of hormonal disturbances in adolescence and why parents should teach good manners long before puberty.

I offer this advice to single moms. The better you exemplify good manners, teach it and require it of your children, the fewer problems you will have during their growth. Now, that makes so much obvious sense that one must wonder why society seems not to profit from it. I think it is the lack of good examples, lack of consistency, lack of fairness, lack of self-respect, lack of mutual respect. Add to that the lack of female leadership by indirectness dealing with males and too much demanding and insisting caused by motherly frustrations, fears, and loneliness. Not enough self-enforced calmness, composure, and earnest showering of respect upon kids as persons who deserve mom’s good manners. (I don’t forgive fathers but stay focused on mothers because it’s what women never hear.)


Filed under Dear daughter

4 responses to “1897. Good Manners

  1. J'ahdore

    Dear Sir Guy,

    Morning pretty time instead of extra sleep despite depression or whatever; (pretty time including time to sweat a beautiful figure. …) letting go of controlling a situation in favor of allowing emotions to be felt – and not necessarily expressed, but acknowledged and perhaps shared with Lord – are inspired in me through reading this Blog. Thus, greater patience and less need to be direct and demanding of anyone has released me, personally, from many fits of poor child like and ugly manners.

    I have a lot of work to continue, but I feel free to FEEL and stronger to not DO in the heat of moments in this rough and tumble world as your brain washing (much needed here! ) continues to bring out greater femininity in my personality.

    In other words, the wisdom presented in WWNH have cultivated within me improved manners – a byproduct.

    It is quite liberating and I am so grateful; though some days are deep strain when I look at the choices of my past which have shaped my present life – choices a by product of feminism.

    Thank you, Sir Guy, for cleaning up my ears. I look forward to a brighter future with my cleaner head and more feminine posture.

    Your Highness J’ahdore,
    That you appreciate yourself so much more makes the world brighter for the rest of us and gives me another payday. I bet your smiles hold much more sincerity and charm too.

  2. Lin

    Sir Guy, This is a lovely post. I have learned a lot about respect from your blog. Over the time I have been following this blog, I have tried to apply your teachings on giving respect unconditionally, including to the male sex. Now I am far from perfect and I have so much more to keep putting into practice in everyday life.

    I very much want to share with you what my boyfriend said about me when we just started dating. He remarked in a somewhat surprised but pleased voice about how respectful I seemed to be. He has mentioned that a few times. It seems to him to be a stand out feature. When I heard that I was so happy, because I had been applying all your teachings on respect.

    This post is a good reminder. Thank you.

  3. Lisette

    I now live in the southern US and really appreciate how people here for the most part are still mindful of good manners. I get doors opened or at least held open for me on a daily basis and people routinely call each other sir and ma’am. It does make life so much more pleasant.

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